Endure
by Anagram for Grace
Summary: Finally, things are changing. But are they changing for the better or the worse? On one hand, the Clave is not so suspicious of Valentine's son but on the other, their eyes fall suddenly on the unknown Shadowhunter. Alternate City of Ashes.
1. Endure

Endure  
>They say,<br>Fight through the pain.

Pain  
>They say,<br>Is only of the mind.

For the mind must be a very powerful weapon indeed  
>For pain is only an illusion<br>And an illusion is what causes us to lose all hope.


	2. Not Extinct Enough For Alec

**Have you all been waiting for this? Anticipating it? No? Yeah, I'm not surprised. **

**If you just stumbled across this story and the word Exist with a capital "E" means nothing to you, I suggest you either A) go read my story Exist first so this makes sense to you or B) Ask me for details as you read. In my opinion, option A would be a lot less confusing. **

**And now for a brief recap: ... Jokes, people. I can't recap another story _here_. There may be some people reading this fanfiction who haven't finished Exist. With that said, I am going to do the only disclaimer I am inserting into this story: I don't own The Mortal Instruments but Jaci is in fact my brainchild. **

**ALSO I WANT YOU TO NOTICE THIS SO IT'S IN CAPS AND UNDERLINED! SPOILER ALERT FOR EXIST IF YOU HAVEN'T READ IT!  
><strong>**It has been discovered that our heroine Jaci is an unknown factor. I want to know what you lot think her last name _really_ is. I'm not saying I'll tell you if you have it right, I'm just super curious so review leaving a possible last name. You'll find out eventually... **

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><p>"Are you still mad?" Jace asked.<p>

"I'm not mad," Alec shot back testily.

"Oh, yes you are," Jace responded with a gesture towards Alec and yelping in pain.

"Perhaps next time," I suggested, "you won't assume the half rotted floor will support your weight?" We all looked like crap, aside from Isabelle of course. The two boys were covered in mud and scratches, my ponytail was a hopeless mess not to mention the tried blood on my forehead from a shallow gash, and Isabelle looked like she'd just been out for a stroll – not demon hunting.

They ignored my comment. Well, not completely, Jace did shoot me an angry glare.

"I am not," Alec insisted, through his teeth. "Just because you said dragon demons were extinct-"

"I said mostly extinct."

Alec advanced on his stepbrother, eyes blazing. "Mostly extinct is NOT EXTINCT ENOUGH."

"I see," Jace said calmly. "I'll just have them change the entry in the demonology textbook from 'almost extinct' to 'not extinct enough for Alec. He prefers his monsters really, really extinct.' Will _that _make you happy?"

"Hey, Alec," I said, trying to be positive whilst avoiding my reflection in the mirrored wall of the elevator. "At least you knew what a dragon demon _was_." I had attempted to stay at the Institute when they went out demon hunting but Isabelle had drug me along, pouting.

"Children, children," Isabelle said. "Don't fight."

"You do realize we're all older than you, right?" Jace asked.

"I know. And it was a little more action than we were expecting, but I thought it was fun."

"How do you manage to _never_ get mud on you?" Alec demanded incredulously of his sister.

Isabelle shrugged and smiled brilliantly. "I'm pure at heart. It repels the dirt."

Jace scoffed and waved one dirt coated hand in Isabelle's face. "Filthy inside and out."

"Pleasant," I commented.

"Only for you, my dear."

Isabelle wrinkled her nose in delicate distaste, yanking open the door of the elevator the moment it stopped with an angry screeching sound. "Time to get this thing fixed."

We followed her out into the entryway, all moving gingerly. Alec, I noticed, still walked with a bad limp from the encounter with the Greater Demon even though the crutches were long since gone.

I hissed as I bent to untie the boots Isabelle had lent me, gritting my teeth and kicking them off. Isabelle shot me a concerned look but didn't ask. Completely exhausted, I flopped down on the low wooden bench next to Alec who was still in the process of removing his boots. The two weeks that had passed since the encounter with Abbadon and the discovery of my adoption had contributed to my stress level until the white blood cells of my body were doing tightrope routines on my nerves. "Why, exactly, did you want me to tag along, Izzy?"

"Because," Isabelle said, pulling the pins out of her glossy hair, "it's more fun when you're there. Helps balance out the estrogen to testosterone ratios."

"Nngf." The three actual Shadowhunters fought together perfectly, each fulfilling their role to kill the demon. Me? I was just there, going off of literally no training, ready to leap out protectively in front of any of them. I still believed myself to be extremely expendable. I knew – sort of – how the story ended. Well, the original ending, before I got thrown into the mix. To make a long story short: As awesome as I was, they really didn't need me.

"It wasn't that bad," Alec assured me with a shy smile. We were _trying_ to be friends now, after I'd threatened to desolate his person if he ever hit me again. Well, I'd promised actually, not threatened.

"Alec's right, Jaci," Jace commented, throwing his nasty jacket over my face. "It could have gone worse. Not very likely, but it could have."

I clawed the material from my face and threw the jacket back at him. "I _will_ stab you, Jace Wayland."

"From what I've been informed," a cool voice said from the doorway, "Wayland is hardly appropriate."

"Mom!" Isabelle cried, running to hug the sudden apparition of her mother, Alec getting up to limp after her.

I blinked, trying to clear away the double image. Nope, Isabelle and her mother really did look that much alike. The only difference being Maryse was obviously older and had the same bottle blue eyes as Alec. And Isabelle wasn't that intimidating. Maryse's intense glare wasn't directed at me however, it was aimed at Jace.

"Where's Dad?" Isabelle asked, looking around as though expecting them to appear just as suddenly. "And Max?"

"Max is in his room. And your father, unfortunately, is still in Alicante. There was some business there that required his attention." I noticed that her voice was slightly strained, not that I had much experience with her to compare to, but I figured. I was also desperately trying to make myself nearly invisible, just a little tiny decoration sitting on the bench armed with weapons and a stele that had come from the Institute run by this woman.

"Is something wrong?" Alec asked his mother hesitantly.

"I could ask you the same thing," Maryse said accusingly. "Are you limping?"

"I…"

"We had a run-in with a Drgonidae demon in the subway tunnels," Isabelle said smoothly. "But it was nothing."

"And I suppose that Greater Demon you fought last week was nothing too?" their mother asked dryly.

"That wasn't planned for," Jace answered, something a bit off with his voice.

I stood up then, drawing attention to myself when I spoke. "The Sensor didn't pick it up before we went in. And you can hardly pin this on Jace. Or Alec or Isabelle, for that matter."

Maryse turned the full force of her eyes on me. "And who, precisely, are you?"

"Mom, this is Jaci," Isabelle said peaceably. "A friend of ours."

"Jaci what?" The question was directed towards me. "Morgenstern? Valentine's unprecedented daughter?"

I cringed at the accusation in her tone. "No, actually. I'm just Jaci, adopted and probably an orphan."

Those blue eyes narrowed harshly. "So you're that one?"

"Um… yes?"

"Jace!" a young voice cried and a small boy in oversized glasses darted around Maryse and spinning to grin at his siblings, eyes sliding over me. "You're back! You're all back. I _thought_ I heard the elevator."

"And I thought I told you to stay in your room," said his mother.

"I don't remember that," the boy said seriously. I grinned at that, he was adorable.

"You must be Max," I said.

He turned to me with wide eyes, taking in my battered appearance. "I don't know who you are."

"I'm Jaelyn, but you can call me Jaci. Everyone else does."

"Nice to meet you," he said solemnly, holding his hand out to me. I shook it and smiled. "Did you help fight the Greater Demon?"

"A little," I hedged, not liking the way Maryse was looking at me.

"Was it awesome?" He directed this question to Jace.

"It was… different," Jace said. "How was Alicante?"

Max grinned and shoved his sliding glasses back up the bridge of his nose. "It was _awesome_. We saw the coolest stuff. There's this huge armory in Alicante and they took me to some of the places where they make the weapons. They showed me a new way to make seraph blades too, so they last longer, and I'm going to try to get Hodge to show me-"

I cringed at the mention of Hodge. Apparently I wasn't the only one to react because Maryse cut her son off after that.

"But I'm talking to Jace-" he protested.

"I can see that," she said and gave him a push towards Isabelle. "Isabelle, Alec, take your brother to his room. Jace," she paused and looked me over, "Jac_i, _get cleaned up and meet me in the library as soon as you can. You do know where the library is, I take it?"

I nodded stiffly. Count me as not a fan of Mrs. Lightwood.

"I don't get it. What's going on?" Alec asked, looking between the three of us.

"Is this about my father?" Jace asked quietly.

"The _library_. We'll discuss the matter there."

Alec looked confused. "What does Jace's father have anything to do with Jaci? And what happened while you were gone wasn't either of their faults. We were all in on it. And Hodge said-"

"Well discuss Hodge later as well." Maryse's eyes flashed in warning.

"But, Mother. If you're going to punish Jace and Jaci, you should punish us as well. It would only be fair," Isabelle argued. "We all did exactly the same things."

"No. You didn't."

I didn't like the way her eyes bore into mine like an attack. And I couldn't help but be relived when she finally turned stiffly on her heel and walked away with her children in tow.

"Jace, what's going on?" I asked softly. He still hadn't moved from where he stood.

He shook his head. "I don't know." For some reason, I didn't completely believe him. "I don't see what anything would have to do with _you_."

I sighed and pulled my left knee up to my chest, attempting to stretch out my pulled hamstring. It hurt like hell. I hissed again. "Maybe she still thinks I'm Valentine's daughter?"

Jace unbuckled his weapons belt and examined it for new damage. "I don't know why she would. You've already proven it to be impossible. No," he buckled the belt and slipped it over his arm, "my guess is it's because she doesn't know whose daughter you are."

I heard the underlying tension in his voice but didn't comment on it. He had a point. I wasn't a Fray, Fairchild, Garroway, Graymark, Morgenstern, Flynn or any other last name I might have at one point had some sort of tie to. I was the unknown child.

"I'm probably just the not important illegitimate child of some random, not important Shadowhunter couple." I paused, Maryse's harsh face coming to mind. "Well, at least I hope I am."

"Somehow, I doubt it. Come on," he said, starting towards the doorway, "Maryse doesn't like to wait."

With a heavy sigh I followed him, my leg protested every step with a burning ache. "Remind me to get my stele back from Clary."

Jace shot me a curious glance over his shoulder. "Why does she have it?"

"Remember? She used it to get the Mortal Cup…"

"She still has it?"

I nodded and grimaced at the same time. Sometimes walking only makes injuries worse. "I meant to get it the other day when I went to the hospital to see my mo- Jocelyn – but she didn't have it with her."

"Is there a particular reason you want it now?"

Of course he knew, but he seemed to relish in making me admit weakness. Saying I needed a healing rune would make him react one of two ways. The first was he would become all superior and sarcastic, bragging about how he'd fell three stories (whoop de doo) and had yet to complain despite the fact that his entire body was in mind numbing agony and each breath felt like his last. And the second was he would be extremely protective and concerned, demanding to know why I hadn't mentioned the pain earlier. Personally, I kind of hoped for the second reaction. Being… whatever I was to Jace had kind of a whiplash effect. One moment we would be absolutely thrilled by the idea of the other and the next we were bickering and criticizing.

"I just pulled my hamstring a bit is all. I figured an _iratze _would probably be a good idea." I shrugged like it was no big deal and tried to camouflage my awkward not-quite-limp.

Within moments, Jace had scooped me up into his arms and was carrying me like I was a doll. Apparently Jace was going for option two squared which took me by surprise. All of a sudden, his face was inches from mine and his arms were wrapped securely around my body. It was the closest we'd been for over a week and my mind wasn't processing anymore. In fact, I forgot to protest when he took me in a dumped me in _his _room on _his_ bed.

"Don't move," he ordered and disappeared out the door again.

As soon as he was gone I stood up, not wanting to get his pristinely white blanket dirty from my filthy gear. The action of standing brought me a nice dose of mind-clearing pain.

Jace had carried me.

Jace was being protective.

I hated when people were worried about me.

But I liked Jace's protectiveness. Lots. I really liked it compared to our awkward distance that had been established.

"I thought I told you not to move," Jace commented, appearing suddenly in the doorway holding a small pile of my clothes which he tossed to me. "Shower in my bathroom and I'll draw your _iratze_ for you. I'm quite good at them."

"_That's _your excuse?" I asked incredulously. "Are you sure you don't just want me stripping in your bathroom?"

His playful grin didn't quite reach his eyes. "While that may be an ulterior motive, I'm sticking with the first one. Besides, I'm not certain if Maryse knows you've been staying here yet. She might not approve exactly."

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><p>The hot shower made me feel worlds better and I came out of it smelling like boy. Well, like Jace to be exact. He had been kind enough not to get any girl soap when he'd gone to my room and I was stuck using his. It wasn't a bad smell but it did remind me awkwardly of live in girlfriends and all around situations my mother had raised me to consider scandalous. One look in the mirror, however, made me feel a lot less like a sexy lover kept around for their looks and more like a battered, teenage girl, kept around because she had no place else to go.<p>

My skin was a grey-ish pale hue that made the already thin skin under my eyes show the blue veins more vividly. My eyes themselves – while not being particularly bloodshot – looked to be off-white. My only color was from my hair which was almost black from being wet. I looked like one of the terrible creatures from my nightly dreams, ghosts of my last trip to Central Park. And not to mention the new scars I carried on my previously unmarked skin. There were the faint swirls from Marks and the two shiny, pink scars from my encounter with a Ravener.

With a sound of disgust, I turned away from the mirror, using the towel to harshly dry my face. My skin felt tight and restricting. Still with my back to the mirror, I pulled on the clothes Jace had brought me, not impressed with his choices. The shirt was the one I'd worn the first time I'd ever encountered one of the Forsaken and still had a darker patch from where my blood hadn't completely washed out and he'd brought me pajama bottoms Isabelle had given me. Little shorts I had promised myself I would never be caught dead in. So much for that promise. As I went to pull them on, a surprised gasp of pain escaped past my lips and I sat heavily on the edge of the tub.

The door swung open to show Jace looking concerned. "Jaci?"

He had abandoned his muddy shirt at some point and now stood in the doorway, bare foot and bare chest. I couldn't help but take in the swell of muscles under his lightly tanned – and badly bruised – skin. Despite the unsightly mars, I still couldn't think of any boy sexier than him with his silvery scars lacing across the entirety of his body and the swirling black Marks he usually bore but were now faded.

All of a sudden the bathroom was much too hot with me wearing a t-shirt and my underwear and Jace looking at me. Thinking of my scars and the vivid purple bruising I'd glanced on the back of my leg, I felt gross and unattractive and desperately wanted to disappear. Instead I simply refused to look at him and hooked the tiny shorts with my right foot, grabbing them and laying them on my lap so I felt at least a little bit more covered.

"Could you knock next time?" I asked, trying and failing to keep the accusation out of my voice. This was exactly what I needed right now, a major hit on my self-esteem. At least with clothes on I could pretend my body was as graceful and willowy as Isabelle's or as delicate and petite as Clary's. My legs weren't terrible, in fact I had very delicate ankles and nicely shaped calves but with my thighs added in I did not look pretty. Usually I didn't care but for once in my life could I look just a little bit girly?

"Sorry," he said. I could tell from his voice he didn't mean it. "Do you want me to Mark you now?"

I shook my head vehemently. "I would like to finish getting dressed first."

Jace glanced at the shorts and grinned at me. "I don't think that would make much difference."

I could just feel my face growing multiple shades darker.

"Unless you'd rather wait until I'm showered?" he suggesting, closing the door. I watched as he pulled out his stele and drew a rune on the wood, securing it shut. He then placed the stele on a ledge in the tub, reaching over me. "Excuse me."

I stared at him with wide eyes. "What are you doing?"

His hands were at the button of his pants. "Taking a shower."

"Oh Angel," I clapped a hand over my eyes so I wouldn't see. "Is there a particular reason why you have to do this _in front of me?_"

"No," I heard him say. "You just happen to be here and I didn't have the heart to kick you out. You don't have to close your eyes by the way, I still have clothes on."

"I don't trust you."

Jace tsked sadly from somewhere to my right. "This is a sad day, Jaci."

"Hurry up and get in the shower, would you?"

"That's not going to help."

"What?"

"With you sitting where you are I am unable to close the curtain so you can either open your eyes and move or stay where you are and ignore the fact that you might get a tad damp."

Keeping my eyes tightly shut, I slid off the edge of the tub and lowered myself carefully to the floor with an involuntary groan. Somewhere above me he chuckled and then some warm and damp piece of fabric fell in my lap. I squirmed and blindly threw what could only have been his pants away from me.

"Now, now, Jaci. I thought I was doing you a favor." A sound like rain started as he turned on the shower, the curtain rattling closed.

"Hurry up and shower, would you?"

"Are you really going to sit there with your eyes closed the entire time?"

"Yes, Jace. I am." Whether I wanted to look or not, and we're not going to discuss that, I wasn't going to. Instead I sat there feeling the humidity on my skin and listening to the occasional comments Jace made. I could tell when he was washing his hair because he commented on precisely how much of his shampoo I had used and continued on for a bit remarking on how much soap girls in general wasted.

Eventually, the water was shut off and the curtain rattled open. "It's all right now."

I scoffed. "I don't know if I can really believe you."

"What if I promise?" I could feel his breath on my face and my eyes sprang open in surprise. He was crouched in front of me, a towel secured around his hips. The dirt was gone from his body but the bruises seemed almost darker than before. I noticed the dark shadows under his eyes and his overall gaunt appearance. Maybe I wasn't the only one having trouble sleeping at night.

"I guess I'll just have to hold you to that promise," I said with a smirk that usually was bestowed upon his face.

He helped me to my feet and retrieved his stele before turning to me with a quirked eyebrow. "Your hamstring you said?"

I nodded and felt the blood pooling in my face and neck and ears and any other visible bit of skin. I became painfully aware of my hair sticking to me from both the moisture in the air and my own sweat. Pleasant.

Moving quickly, Jace hooked a hand under my knee and gently pulled it up, he used his other hand to carefully extend my leg so my heel rested on his shoulder. I was too surprised by my own flexibility for a moment to feel pain or mortification that Jace was... apsdofahsdfh.

"Ouch," I said dazedly.

"Hold on."

The sting of the stele crossed my leg swiftly and then it was gone along with the pain.

"Thanks."

My leg was still over his shoulder. Neither of us moved. After a terribly long, awkward pause, I swung my leg off of him and we stood facing each other, not quite sure what to do. My heart was hammering in my chest, ecstatic and terrified by the proximity. I could feel my hands shaking terribly and I fidgeted with the hem of my shirt. What was the big deal? He'd just healed me, that was all. We hadn't even kissed and I was a mess.

Nervous or not, I wanted to change that.

Without really being aware of _how _I got there, suddenly I was pressed up against his body with my hands around his neck and my lips millimeters away from his. Jace closed the remaining distance with an almost painful delicacy.

The last time we had kissed had been just before going to fight Abaddon. I wasn't going for gentle now. Still with un unusual amount of nerve, I moved my hands to his shoulders and wrapped my legs around his waist, wanting to be as close to him as possible so bad it nearly hurt. I wanted a few blissful moments to forget everything that was going wrong and focus on the one thing that was going _right_.

My initiative inspired him and I was suddenly against a wall, his mouth now urgent and fierce on mine. Carefully, he pulled my bottom lip in between his teeth and bit. My eyes fluttered open in surprise momentarily. I took advantage of my position to run my hands over his shoulders and chest, exploring every bit of skin I could find. Whenever I came across a scar, I traced it lightly as Jace's mouth explored my neck, sucking and biting just soft enough not to leave a mark.

His hands were at the hem of my shirt and then creeping under it – flat on my stomach and sending chills throughout my entire body. They crept higher on my rib cage, teasing the delicate flesh just enough to make me squirm and giggle. His lips at my throat curled into a smile. He moved his mouth to the hollow at the base of my neck and my head rolled backwards, letting him do as he wished.

Jace nuzzled at the collar of my shirt, stretching it out in the process. I probably wouldn't have even protested if he ripped it if two things hadn't happened. His towel began to slip dangerously lower on his hips and I was suddenly reminded of the ugly scars on my shoulder, not far from his warm lips.

"Jace."

"Hmm?" He drew his lips lightly over my skin to just below my ear, damp locks ghosting against my cheek.

I disentangled my legs from around him – the towel didn't fall – and ducked out of his embrace reluctantly. "Maryse. You said she doesn't like to wait."

He groaned but there was no denying I had a point, as much as I wanted to. He mumbled something I didn't catch and pulled me back into his arms, crushing my body to him with his burning mouth on mine making my heart pound. This time, I wasn't going to be the one to break the kiss.

"We should do this more often," he said raggedly, slowly releasing me.

"Yes," I agreed, my hand resting on his bare chest, "we should."


	3. Runaway

**I apologize that this is shorter than Clary but it's a new chapter, at least. Actually, it was just an awkward transition after this part so I split it up. Anyway, today at school we're having a career fair day or some other ridiculous thing that no one cares about so I shall probably be spending all my time writing and hopefully have something ready in a couple days? I'll try to make it longer, I really will.**

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><p>His golden eyes followed her as she left but she never looked back at him. She had resumed her fighting attitude – shoulders squared and head held high, focused only on what was ahead, not behind. The fact that she was steeling herself up to face his adoptive mother made him uneasy.<p>

Now quite alone, Jace leaned heavily against the sink and closed his eyes. He could still taste the slight saltiness from her skin and the bitter hint from the soap. He could bring to memory her scent – a blend of soap, rain, the scent all Shadowhunters hand, and something else uniquely Jaci. When she was there he couldn't put a name to it and with her gone he was left only with his imperfect memories.

_And_, he noted as he opened his eyes and glanced down at the counter, _a couple of her hairs._ He picked them up delicately and dropped them to the floor. The bad part about having both a cat and a girlfriend was everything he owned was covered in someone else's hair.

Girlfriend. The fact that he used the word was like a mental slap. Was that what he considered Jaci? What did she consider him?

He shook his head and scowled at his reflection. Before Jaci had left she had drawn a healing rune on his back – close to his heart – for him. The bruises had faded from unsightly purple to a nearly-healed yellow. He still looked drawn and tired though and he was dizzy with hunger. He hadn't bothered to eat before setting out demon hunting. Memories plagued his dreams and he had wanted to burn them out, taking Alec and Isabelle along as well. And Jaci. When he had seen her in the weapons room wearing Shadowhunter gear he'd been flooded with confliction emotions. His first reaction was to forbid her to come with them but she never would have listened and he would not beg. At the same time he wanted her to come simply so she would be there and he would be able to see for himself that she was still around. Too many times he'd seen her almost die.

At night he would relive the events at Renwick's and the fight with Abbadon. Each time it was different. Each time Jaci ended up dead. And then he would tear himself apart emotionally. Usually it was his fault for the danger Jaci was in, once it was his father.

His father who wasn't really dead. The man who had raised him to be a Shadowhunter and taught him that to love is to destroy and to be loved is to be destroyed. Love was a weakness to be conquered.

His entire life he had believed that because it was what he had been told. For seven years he had believed he was an orphan and now he had parents and a sister. Was there anything left that wasn't a lie?

Jace quickly threw on jeans and a clean shirt before setting off to the library. He met no one on the way which meant Alec and Isabelle were in their rooms and Jaci, of course, would be in the library.

He reached the library and knocked once before shouldering the door open. His eyes darted around the room, resting on Maryse sitting in Hodge's chair by the fire, a glass of wine in her hand.

"Maryse," Jace said.

She jumped and turned her cold blue eyes on him. "Jace. I didn't hear you come in."

"He _did_ knock," drawled a defensively sarcastic voice from behind him. He turned to see Jaci, now clothed in a different shirt and her usual skinny jeans with her long hair cascading over her shoulders, leaning against the door frame. Her features were carefully arranged in a determinedly arrogant expression. The same expression she wore when facing a demon. At her feet Peeta paced protectively. Jace noted that the cat appeared to have grown in the last week. "Not that that would alert you of his presence or anything."

Maryse's eyes narrowed and flicked between Jace and Jaci. "You said your name was Jaelyn?"

The brown haired girl nodded fractionally.

"You're both so much alike. Filled with the same arrogance of your father."

"Valentine was not Jaci's father," Jace said stiffly, tearing his eyes from Jaci to address Maryse.

"So you say," Maryse said, getting to her feet. "The way you're both looking at me now – it's difficult to deny."

"Jace is a grand total of six months older than me. It's physically impossible for us to be closer than cousins. Which is, in turn, impossible as well – unless Valentine had siblings no one's bothered to mention," Jaci said dryly, unhitching herself from the doorjamb and moving to stand by Jace.

Jace didn't like the turn of the conversation and jumped in. "Do you remember that song you used to sing to Isabelle and Alec – when they were little and afraid of the dark – to get them to fall asleep?"

Both Jaci and Maryse looked taken aback. He had successfully disrupted their warpath.

"What are you talking about?" Maryse asked once she found her voice.

"I used to hear you through the walls. Alec's bedroom was next to mine then."

Maryse said nothing and he could feel Jaci's inquiring gaze on him.

"It was in French," he said into the silence. "The song."

"I don't know why you'd remember something like that," Maryse said sharply, returning to her seat.

"You never sang it to me."

There was a pause. "Oh, you. You were never afraid of the dark."

Jaci scoffed and averted her eyes from the scene before her, choosing instead to scrutinize the books on the far wall.

"What kind of ten-year-old is never afraid of the dark?" Jace asked. There was only a touch of accusation in his voice.

"Sit down, Jonathan, Jaelyn," she commanded wearily. "Now."

Jaci's eyebrows shot up and she cast a glance at Jace before scooping up the little feline at her feet and settling into a wing-backed chair opposite of Maryse. Jace took the one next to her.

"I'd rather you didn't call me Jonathan."

"Why not?" Maryse asked. "It's your name." She turned to Jaci. "How long have you known?"

"Known _what_?" Jaci demanded. Her eyebrows had drawn together creating a deep furrow. "That I'm adopted? That I'm a Shadowhunter? How to speak Spanish? Why the sky is blue? That would be a couple weeks, a little more than a couple weeks, a year, and several years. In that order."

"You think you're smart-"

"Do you mean smart as in intelligent, sarcastic, or clever?" Jaci interrupted. Jace couldn't help but be mildly amused, despite the cold feeling of dread that had settled low in his stomach.

"-but you should watch your tongue," Maryse finished in a clipped tone.

The girl sighed heavily, letting her mask of bitter humor drop for the moment, showing how truly vulnerable she was. "Look, I'm sorry. I'm a bitch when I'm nervous or scared. And stressed. This is all really weird for me. Less than a month ago I was getting ready to go back to school and graduate and then go on to college and all of a sudden I'm not the only one who sees the demons in the night. All of a sudden vampires and werewolves are real and I don't actually have a family anymore. What do you want to know? I'll tell you what I can but you're going to have to trust it's the truth."

Jaci's words were followed by a thick silence as they sank in slowly.

"That's a pretty speech," Maryse said finally. "However, that's all it is." She paused and closed her eyes briefly. "Look, Jaelyn-"

"Jaci," Jace corrected automatically.

Maryse glanced at him sharply. "Jaci. I would like to believe you but I don't know you. Do you understand? With Valentine back, the entire Clave has to be suspicious of anyone even remotely connected to him. And you can't deny your sudden appearance combined with his sudden reappearance is… _suspicious._"

"So you think she's Valentine accomplice because of one corresponding date on a timeline?" Jace demanded, leaning forward in his chair and trying to get Maryse to see the insanity of her accusations.

"No, I don't," she answered stiffly. "Someone else might. That's why I think it's best if Jaci were to distance herself from this issue for the time being."

"You're kicking me out." Jaci was on her feet and her tone was flat. She had retreated back into her armor. "So much for offering shelter to all Shadowhunters. I'll just be on my way." She and her cat were gone before Jace could get to his feet.

"Stay where you are, Jonathan. We still have more to discuss," Maryse said over the sound of the door closing.

Jace didn't move. "I'd still prefer if you didn't call me Jonathan. What was that for?" His voice was icy.

But she didn't hear him. Her gaze was still directed towards the door. "Eventually you'll understand that sometimes, the best way to keep people safe is to push them away."

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><p><strong>I really like dramaticsemi-dramatic chapter endings. Have you noticed? Anywho, keep guessing on who Jaci is! Please. If you can't think of anything to review you can just type what you think her real name is OR you can do what English teachers force you to and look deep into the symbolism that isn't really there. =D**


	4. Cappuccino, Murder, and Scotch

**Wow, this took forever. I feel terrible about it (insert sad face here). But I must say, the last review that chapter got is what made me decide to post this even though I was going to add a bit more to the end so you'll just have to wait for the next chapter for that. Gah, I guess this means I have to stretch that little clip into a full chapter then, huh?**

**Shout out to the anonymous person who left that review; You friggin' made my day. . Don't ask why.**

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><p>I burst out of the doors of the Institute and walked briskly down the sidewalk. The only thing that was keeping me from running was the fear of injuring Peeta who was tucked away in my shabby messenger bag. All my other things were still in my- <em>the<em> room in the Institute. The Institute was no longer my home, that was made clear by Maryse. Very, very clear.

I clutched the strap of my bag tighter and walked faster, attempting to make my mind stop working by physical activity. But that was useless seeing as I still had to be practical. It was obvious that I was going to need someplace to stay. At the Institute Isabelle had insisted I move into one of the permanent resident rooms across the hall from her, Luke hadn't argued since there wasn't really a lot of room at his place what with Clary and several pack members almost always there. It would have been like staying at a hostel, permanently.

Before I was really aware of it, I was walking past the red skinned Clancy and through the doors of Taki's. It looked just the same as before but yet subtly different. I made my way over to a two person booth and sat down, pulling the menu towards myself and examining. I skipped over the faerie and werewolf foods and turned to the back of the menu. Scanning over it, the same things stood out to me as the first time I'd been at Taki's.

"Where are your friends?" a soft, feminine voice beside me asked.

I glanced up to see the waitress, Kaelie, hovering over me in her stilettos. Her solidly blue eyes made it impossible to tell what part of me she was looking at.

"What?"

"You're Jace's friend, right?" Even though her voice went up at the end of the statement, it was hardly a question.

"Um, yeah," I answered lamely. Feeling awkward under her gaze, I shifted my bag on the bench next to me, discreetly checking on my cat.

Kaelie turned her head to the side like a curious puppy playing with a new found toy. "You're not his type."

I blinked. "_What_? Are you seriously going to talk to me about Jace, because at this moment, I'm not in the mood. I know you two have some sort of- of history or something but I really, quite honestly don't care. All I want to do right now is order a hazelnut cappuccino." And as an afterthought, "Please."

She smirked at me and I wished she had some sort of super ugly scar or a mole like King Tut's grandmother. It simply wasn't fair that Jace's past was so… so…

"I'll be back with that as soon as I can."

_Perfect_. I wanted to hate her as she walked away, just be mad at someone. Instead, I fidgeted mindlessly with the napkin sitting in front of me and attempted to come up with a plan. I could go stay with Simon but that would be awkward – his mom thought I had a crush on him. Maryse wanted me to distance myself from the Institute, probably didn't want me to be a bad influence on her children because apparently my very existence was an appalling crime.

A bone chilling thought crossed my mind. _What if she knew?_ Shadowhunters believed only demons could travel between dimensions and I _had _traveled between them. With angelic help, of course, but would they believe me? Or maybe she'd found the books while we had been out. I hadn't bothered to check on them or grab them before I left. I had to go back to the Institute. Why didn't I burn the books? Oh, right. Because I'm an idiot.

"Here you are." Kaelie brought me back to the present world as she set my cappuccino and a smoothie in front of me.

"Thanks," I said automatically. "I didn't order the smoothie."

"I know," she said simply and walked away. I stared after her, trying to think of an acceptable way to call her back but before I could, someone slid into the seat across from me.

"It's not often one of the Nephilim comes here alone," said the new addition. The furry ears poking through his thick dark hair and the sharp teeth declared him to be the cook I'd glanced the last time I'd been there.

"One of the Nephilim?" I asked dully. "At the moment that's highly debatable."

He regarded me with iron grey eyes. "You cannot change what you are."

"Actually, I believe werewolves can," I pointed out.

He bared his teeth at me without seeming angry. _Smiling_. "You are a lot like Jace. I find it amusing. Your names are fittingly similar as well, Jaci."

So he knew my name. Cool. When I'd been trying to escape the world I'd managed to run right into the place where everyone seemed to know me and I knew no one. "How do you know me?"

He flashed his teeth again. "Nothing happens in my restaurant I don't know about."

"So you're Taki. I'd say it's a pleasure to meet you but this encounter has only been awkward and a little creepy."

Taki narrowed his eyes. "You think you're smart, Shadowhunter."

"That," I said, toying with the cappuccino mug, "is the second time I've been told that today. I'm assuming you didn't just come over here to tell me something I already know. What do you want, Downworlder?" If he wished to call me Shadowhunter it only seemed fitting to call him Downworlder.

"I want nothing from you," he said harshly. "I've only noticed that you are different from most of your kind."

Apparently that was a question. "I wasn't raised in Shadowhunter culture." I saw no reason not to tell him the truth. Maybe the story would get back to Maryse and she'd believe my lack of association with Valentine.

"And yet you bear the Marks of the disgraced."

I couldn't help but glance down at the back of my hand and the silver trace of a rune. "You caught me," I said, letting sarcasm color my voice. "I killed demons as a baby but I was too good at it and the Clave was getting jealous so they erased my memory and sent me to be raised as a mundane."

Taki chuckled, his flinty eyes glinting. "Is this how you treat everyone you meet?"

I shrugged and took a sip of my cappuccino. "Only the furry eared cooks."

"You're not bad," he said, pulling the smoothie towards himself, "for a Shadowhunter."

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks for that."

"You are an unusual one," he continued seriously. He narrowed his eyes at me and his ears lay back against his head. "All of Downworld is talking about you. And your friends."

My eyebrows arched skeptically. "Do I look like I have friends at the moment?"

"At the moment you look as though you have one friend."

"So we're friends now?"

Taki considered that and shook his head. "Acquaintances. I don't keep company with Shadowhunters."

"Hmm," I thought that over. Having a Downworlder who was on my side would keep me connected to everything going on without having to worry Luke or Clary about me and the whole "Thou shalt not come neareth the Clave" thing. "'Acquaintance' is such a cold term. My preposition is allies."

"Allies," he said, testing it out. "And why," he leaned forward, "would I want to form an alliance with a Shadowhunter?"

"Maybe because it would be… beneficial for you."

"Or maybe it's because you have no one else to turn to?" he suggested and sipped at the smoothie.

I kept my voice cool and even, acting the part of a sarcastic and narcissistic Shadowhunter perfectly. "I have plenty of others to turn to."

Taki's mouth twitched with amusement. "But you don't deny that you are no longer welcome at the Institute."

I did not deign myself to answer.

"News travels fast if you know where to listen for it." I could tell from the feverish light in his eyes that he was finally getting to the point that he had come to tell me. "I know something that may interest you."

"If it has anything to do with either Valentine or the Clave I couldn't care less."

"And if it has to do with Jace?"

My eyes snapped from the tabletop to his face before I could pretend a lack of interest. "What?"

"I might, hypothetically, know that he was spotted entering a werewolf bar not long ago and if we were _allies_," he leered, "like you suggested I might, hypothetically, tell you."

My entire body was tense and I resisted the urge to lunge forward and grab Taki by the throat to force the words out of him. "Where is he?" I said stiffly, only my voice giving away how tense I was.

"First the terms of our alliance."

"Where is he?" I demanded again.

"If you wish, I will tell you the things that pass my ears."

"Must be a lot of things," I commented through my teeth. "You have rather large ears."

He flashed his sharp teeth at me. "And in return I would like your assistance when I require it."

I didn't like the way he was looking at me so I stood up, gathering my things. "I don't like your terms, Taki." I tossed a twenty on the table. "But I'll consider acquaintanceship."

He eyed the twenty and grinned up at me. "This is a sad day, Jaci. I was hoping you'd accept."

I nodded cordially and turned to leave.

"However…" I turned back to face him but he wasn't looking at me, instead worrying the edge of the bill on the table, "I happen to like you, Shadowhunter. The Hunter's Moon." Steel colored eyes met my hazels. "That's what you need to know."

* * *

><p>The Hunter's Moon was just as dingy on the outside as Taki's, if not more so. And it smelled a bit like dog even out front.<p>

"Jace is in there," I said quietly, pretending I was talking to my sleeping cat and not myself even though it was a complete lie. I stared at the door, trying to convince myself that it wasn't weird that I was about to burst into some random Downworlder bar I'd never heard of before where Jace just happened to be.

Before I could take a step forward, the door burst open and an extremely tall person stormed out, muttering. "Fucking Shadowhunters."

"Eesh," I commented, more out of amusement than actual offense. "We haven't even met and you already hate me."

The man's harsh gaze flashed to me and I saw the disfiguring scar cutting across his face and making him that much more intimidating.

"Silver powder," I commented sadly. "Gotta hate it."

"Are you with him?" the man growled, glaring daggers down at me.

"Who?" I asked, puzzled. I'd just showed up. "Oh! You must mean Jace. Well at least, I _think _you mean Jace. He's the only person I know who can make someone this," I indicated him, "angry." I was rambling. "I'm sorry, I'm rambling. So I take it this means Jace is in there? You know what? Don't answer that. I'm an idiot. Sorry." I went to move past him but he didn't budge.

"Maybe," he said slowly and heatedly, "you should teach him some manners."

I raised one eyebrow. "You think he's my responsibility?"

"You're all responsible for each other."

"I see." I was liking this tall person less and less. "Well, if that's your philosophy. Excuse me, I should probably go stop him from dismembering everyone within a ten foot radius in there."

But he was completely ignoring me now and gazing over my shoulder with a look of mingled shock and horror.

"What are you…" I trailed off as I saw it. A body was lying, tangled and motionless, in the alley with a shadow stooped over it. "Oh bloody hell."

Finally sensing our presence, the shadow darted away as we rushed to the body. It was a boy around my age, maybe a bit younger and hardly recognizable. Blood spattered the alley from the boy's torn throat and I was really wishing I'd used a different curse than "bloody."

"He's still alive," the man beside me said, hands fluttering useless over the boy.

Blank brown eyes stared up at me before sliding laboriously to the man. Then the boy was completely still.

"Not anymore," I whispered. "Farewell."

"Well," the man said hoarsely, "aren't you going to do something? You're a Shadowhunter."

I'd just watched a boy die and now I was being expected to leap into action? What was I supposed to do? Summon the Clave? Because _that_ would go over well.

"No," I said flatly, "I'm not. Well, I am, but barely." I dragged my wrist across my forehead, shoving my bangs out of my face and trying to clear the images from my mind. "I'm useless here."

He was on his feet instantly and heading towards the door of the bar. I followed closely, feeling like I might be sick if I stayed with the boy. The instant he went through the door, I heard the bar fall silent and I ducked in unnoticed behind him.

"Bat!" a girl's voice cried. "Are you hurt?"

Bat stared blankly at them all and I managed to sink into a chair subtly. "An attack. There's a body in the alley. A dead kid. Blood – everywhere. Not my blood. I'm fine."

"A body?" someone asked. "But who?"

The entire population inside the bar moved in a rush towards the door. Well, almost. Through the crowd I saw someone with blonde hair sitting at the bar completely undisturbed. My heart skipped when I realized it was Jace. Bat was explaining the alley scene to the crowd.

"There was someone in the alley. Someone kneeling over him. Not like a person – like a shadow. They ran off when they saw us. He was still alive. A little. I bent down over him, but-" he paused. "He died without saying anything."

"We?" someone asked.

I saw Bat nod. "There was a girl-"

"Vampires," a female voice declared angrily. "The Night Children. It can't have been anything else."

I saw one issue with her analysis. Vampires had fangs, they had no reason to slit throats. They wouldn't spill all that blood. I swallowed thickly at the thought of the alley painted in blood. How we hadn't noticed earlier than we had, I didn't know.

Bat shoved through the crowd and moved towards the figure I knew to be Jace. Before the werewolf could reach him, however, Jace was on his feet.

"What's your problem, werewolf?"

"Are you deaf, Nephilim?" Bat snarled. "There's a dead boy in the alley. One of ours."

"Do you mean a lycanthrope or some other sort of Downworlder?" I heard Jace's voice ask delicately. The crowd had moved so I could no longer actually see him and I didn't have the energy to change vantage points. "You all blend together to me."

"He was only a cub," a new voice said in a strained tone. "His name was Joseph."

I groaned inwardly and pinched the bridge of my nose. In just a few short weeks I had seen more death than I had in my entire life previously. My hands felt sticky and I realized upon opening my eyes that they were covered in Joseph's still-warm blood.

"A lycanthrope boy?" Jace asked.

"He was one of the pack," the voice that had identified the body continued. "He was only fifteen."

My stomach lurched. Until recently Clary had been fifteen, the death of someone her age made me uneasy especially since I hadn't seen her for a couple days.

"And what exactly do you expect me to do about it?"

"You're Nephilim. The Clave owes us protection in these circumstances."

I knew I should probably step in and try to instigate peace but there was no way I would be able to stop either side. Jace had apparently gotten some urge to try and get himself killed and the pack was on edge.

"I don't see anything you need protecting from here," Jace said insolently. "Except some bad décor and a possible mold problem. But you can usually clear that up with bleach."

Okay, screw sitting this one out. I got to my feet and began to thread my way through the crowd to the confrontation.

"There's a _dead body_ outside this bar's front door," Bat's voice said. "Don't you think-"

"I think it's a little too late for him to need protection if he's already dead."

"Jace," I said lowly, finally having my made to the front of the mob of wolves who were fairly bristling (some literally).

His eyes widened when they landed on me but he went back to his impudent expression almost immediately. "Jaci," he said. "What interesting company you keep. You have blood on your face." I could hear the well concealed strain in his voice.

"Worried, Wayland?" I asked with a sarcastic tone that lacked heart.

Jace's eyes took in my entire appearance and he shrugged before turning back to the bar and the amber drink that sat there. "Not particularly," he said. "You're a big girl who can't be bothered to tell anyone where you're running off to."

I hated his tone. "I can take care of myself."

Jace chuckled, still with his back to me and the angry mob of Downworlders. "As can I. The rest of them…" he trailed off. Let them fill in the blanks. "One couldn't even keep himself from being splatter painted in an alley just outside this infested nest."

"Is this the attitude of the Clave one week after the Accords?" the bartender said with disgust, looking at the two of us. "The death of Downworlders is nothing to you?"

I held up my hand and pointed to the lack of the Covenant Mark there. "I'm not a Clave member. Plus we're not even eighteen yet."

"Neither was Joseph," someone shouted.

Obviously the pack was determined to blame something on someone. There was one thing I'd noticed about the inhabitants of the Shadow World, they were creatures of action.

"Joseph is dead," Jace said carelessly. "His age hardly matters anymore."

I whirled on him. "Is there a particular reason why you're trying to piss everyone off? Fine. Do whatever the hell you want. I'm done caring." And with that I shoved my way through the crowd and outside where the air was heavily scented with blood.

Joseph's body still lay where it had been, glassy eyes staring forever at nothing. I knelt down beside him and slid his lids closed gently. _Only fifteen._

"Jaci?"

I turned to see Luke walking towards me. He seemed to be blurred and I realized then that I was crying. I wiped the tears away angrily and got to my feet. "Luke," I said simply.

He glanced down at the body before stooping to pull up the shirt collar over the bloody gash on the boy's neck. The effect was that now – aside from the blood and the setting – the boy could have been sleeping.

"It never gets any easier." Luke wasn't looking at me. "Each death is as terrible as the last."

"If it wasn't," I said, "would we still be human?"

Luke chuckled bitterly without humor and stepped around me toward the door of the bar. "Calling us human is a stretch, Jaci."

Once he opened the door, I was inclined to agree with him. Judging from the sounds and the milling about of the mob, Jace had taunted the pack into a fight. As I moved to follow him, Luke put his arm out; successfully keeping me out of the melee.

"That's enough."

The entire pack froze at those two words. Luminous, wolf-like eyes turned towards us, sliding over me and settling on Luke: the pack leader.

"That's enough. Leave the boy alone."

Like water, the pack dispersed. Soon all that remained where they had been were the man, Bat, and Jace looking considerably worse for wear than he had two minutes ago. His lip was split and there was a cut by his eyebrow. Bat had Jace's shirt fisted in one hand and a knife in the other. In an instant I had something in my hand ready to throw to disarm the werewolf if needed.

"He's not a boy, he's a Shadowhunter." Bat spoke the word like a filthy curse.

"They're welcome enough here. They're our allies," Luke said calmly.

"He said it didn't matter," Bat protested, "-about Joseph."

Luke turned his gaze to Jace who was no longer smirking like an idiot. "I know. Did you come in here just to pick a fight, Jace Wayland?"

Jace smiled widely, blood flowing from his lip. "Luke."

Looking shocked, Bat released Jace and turned to Luke apologetically. "I didn't know-"

"There's nothing to know," Luke said wearily.

"They said the Clave wouldn't care about the death of a lycanthrope child," the bartender said in a deep voice.

"They?" Luke asked.

"He's including me in that," I said harshly.

Luke blinked down at me and rested the hand that had been previously holding me back on my shoulder. "Jaci and Jace don't speak for the Clave. Besides, they couldn't have done anything even if they'd wanted to. Isn't that right?"

I didn't answer him. Obviously news traveled quickly through Downworld.

"I know what happened with Maryse," Luke said into the silence.

"Who told you?" Jace demanded, paling. "Clary?"

I sighed. "Jace, how would Clary know?"

He ignored me like he always did when I was right.

"I'm the pack leader," Lue said. "I hear things. Now come on. Let's go to Pete's office and talk."

"Me too?" I asked, or was I free to go wander the city and drive myself mad with my thoughts?

"Yes."

"Fine," Jace said and glanced at one wall of the bar where some sort of liquid was dripping down the wall, "but you owe me for that Scotch I never got to drink."


	5. The Epitome of Random

**I'm so sorry this took forever. I tried writing this several times and each time it was terrible and then I just put it off for ages. I've sort of been caught in a Simon/Clary type situation. I have a new respect for Simon. He's awesome. Anyway, enjoy this super short chapter and I'll try to make the next one better.**

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><p>"I can't believe you," I said with a touch of disgust. Jace and I were sitting in the bartender Pete's office. He had claimed ownership of the only chair and I'd had to settle for a perch on a file cabinet (which was considerably cleaner than the floor) with Peeta curled in my lap. Luke had gone to call Clary who had apparently heard, via Isabelle, that Jace and I had vanished and was scouring the city for us. That shouldn't have made me happy, but I was possibly a little pleased.<p>

"I know," Jace responded. "Previously you've only seen this kind of perfection in dreams."

I shook my head. As strong as his arrogant façade was, it was still a façade. "What happened after I left?"

"You mean after Maryse kicked you out?" he asked in a dry tone. "She accused me of being Valentine's accomplice and threw me out after you."

"_Valentine's accomplice_?" I demanded in disbelief.

Jace smiled weakly, looking completely vulnerable. "Thank you for that."

I blinked, not sure what I'd done. "For what?"

"For believing me."

"I always believe you," I blurted out before I could stop myself.

"I know," he said softly, a sad smile playing on his mouth. Something about him just looked so vulnerable and heart breaking that it kept me from being embarrassed. "The question is _why_?"

I met his gaze evenly. There was something defiant about his expression daring me to even think about feeling pity.

"Because I trust you."

"You barely know me," Jace spat, turning the chair away from me.

At first I didn't answer him. I turned my attention to Peeta sleeping in my lap, his little pink nose tucked into my palm and his soft tail draped over my wrist. My cat who, in some ridiculous sense, was pretty much my baby. The little animal that (according to Isabelle) had alerted her when I had "fallen" even though there was really no way he could have known. I had named him Peeta from the Hunger Games after the angel, Peliel, had made a reference to the books. Peeta seemed like a pretty intuitive cat and if he was relaxed in this situation, I figured that meant Jace was not about to attempt to rip my throat out.

"I know," I said finally, directing the words to the back of Jace's chair. "And I'm not going to pretend I know you because that would be entirely bogus. Which is why I have to trust you. I was there at Renwick's, Jace. Somewhat," I amended. "I saw enough to know that no one could act that well."

"Are you sure you just don't want to believe I'm the bad guy?" His voice was strained.

"That's part of it," I confessed. "A nice blend of fact and belief. Fantastic, like hazelnut cappuccino. Which, by the way, I had earlier and it was delicious."

I smiled when he laughed and swiveled the chair back around, still looking stressed but a touch more cheerful. "You are the epitome of random."

I shrugged. "Love me."

Jace flashed his imperfect grin and grew suddenly somber again. "Where are you going to go?"

"I don't know. I was still trying to come up with something. What about you?"

"I'm seventeen. I'm nearly an adult. I can strike out on my own – mundanes do it all the time, why can't I?"

I shook my head at him. "The difference between you and me, my dear, is that I know how to live as a mundane and you don't. You would drive yourself crazy."

"Then I'll stay with you," he said, gold eyes blazing. "You'll be eighteen soon enough. We can take care of ourselves until then and come back and draw a salary from the Clave-"

"Jace," I interrupted. My throat was tight and I had to force the word out. "No."

There was a terrible silence. "No?"

"No," I confirmed, holding my voice steady. "You can't leave the Institute, no matter what Maryse said. She's just scared which makes people do stupid things. You are a part of the Clave and the Shadow World, leaving's not an option for you. And that will just make people more suspicious about the whole Valentine thing. You have to go back."

"Come with me."

I blinked. "Jace, I can't."

"Why not?" he demanded, getting to his feet. "No matter what Maryse says you're still a Shadowhunter. The Institute is still your home and Luke and Clary both know you were never associated with Valentine. She'll listen, Jaci. We won't give her a choice."

Sensing the tension, Peeta stretched just as the door swung open to reveal Clary, Simon, and Luke. Moving quickly, Jace flung a pencil towards them. It buried itself in the door frame next to Luke's head.

"Jace!" I scolded.

He shrugged. "Sorry, didn't know it was you." His eyes narrowed when he saw Clary and Simon. "Too bad I only had one pencil."

"Pleasant," Simon commented.

"You could ignore him," I suggested, hopping off my perch, causing Peeta to fall off my lap. The cat mewled unhappily before beginning to claw his way up my jeans.

Simon stared at me blankly. "Your cat."

I glanced down at Peeta who had managed not to stab me. "I'm aware."

"Jace," Clary said, stepping forward. I noticed she and Simon were both a little winded. "Are you all right?"

He only shrugged in response to her and turned to Luke. "We're going back to the Institute."

Luke glanced at me quickly and nodded. "I hoped you would. They're your family, Jace."

"Will you come with?" I asked softly.

Luke visibly paled and began to stammer out an excuse but Jace interrupted him.

"Please."

That one word hung in the air and for a moment, no one bothered to disturb it; the proof that Jace really was human.

"All right," Luke said with a sigh. "Let's go."


	6. So you CAN pick your family

**I can't even begin to apologize as much as you guys deserve. How many months has it been? =/ I'm sorry. Insanely sorry. I'll try to do better, I promise. I hope I didn't make any of you hate me. So here's a really short chapter. Once again, I'm sorry.**

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><p>It seemed that recently I was spending more and more time mad at Clary. I'd tried to be understanding of her terrible mood swings at first, ignoring the things she said and just dealing with it, but enough was enough. Sitting around whining and snapping at people was not going to help our- <em>her<em> mother. Plus I was just having a terrible day in general so when Luke was talking to one of his pack members and Clary took the opportunity to dismiss Simon, I grabbed both his and Jace's wrists and started off towards the Institute. I was sick of her using Simon; it was about damn time he got to tag along.

"Why are we bringing the mundane?" Jace asked, flexing his hand as I towed them both along.

"Don't call Simon that," I ordered, noticing the movement and being a little bit pleased he was uncomfortable.

I caught Jace's glance at Simon. "Sorry. Why are we bringing _Simon_?"

"Because," I said, stopping and looking over my shoulder to make sure Clary and Luke were following, "he's my brother."

"I am?" Simon asked, surprised.

"He is?" Jace asked in the same tone.

I let go of both of them so I could check on Peeta: asleep. "Yes. He is."

Jace's blonde eyebrows were hidden in his hair. "How do you figure?"

"Well, seeing as I have no biological family to speak of, I _figure_ I get to pick," I explained.

"I don't think it works that way," Simon pointed out in a sullen tone. I felt bad for him. Sure, he wanted to come along but it was obvious he wanted to have been invited by Clary, not me. As usual, I was the second option.

"You can leave if you want," I suggested.

He just scowled, but moved to stand closer to me when Clary and Luke finally caught up. Clary was also remaining an awkward distance from Simon.

Jace noticed and scoffed. "Mature."

* * *

><p>"I don't like this," Simon said once we'd reached the steps of the Institute.<p>

"You don't have to be here," Clary said testily.

"Speaking of here and the idea of being," I cut in before the situation could get any more angsty, "does my stele happen to be here, Clarissa?"

Luke shot me a curious glance. "You have a stele?"

"Not at the moment," I said, turning my attention to Jace who was staring blankly at the door as though he'd never seen one before.

"I forgot," he said finally, meeting my gaze, "Maryse took my keys when she kicked me out."

"You shouldn't need a key," Luke said. "An Institute should be open to any Shadowhunter who means the occupants no harm."

"And what if the occupants mean us harm?" Jace asked in a cynical tone.

Luke half smiled. "I don't think that matters."

"Funny how that works," I muttered.

Jace reached out and took my hand, only then drawing my attention to the fact that I had been fidgeting with my hem. I was completely caught off guard, not used to any sort of public contact and I felt my face grew hot but I didn't withdraw my hand. I liked the feel of his over mine.

He placed his other hand on the door. "In the name of the Clave I ask entry to this holy place. And in the name of the Angel Raziel, I ask your blessings on my mission against-"

With a mildly eerie groan, the doors swung open revealing the dim interior of the church-like part of the Institute. Jace pulled me inside with him, walking ahead of the others. His jaw was set and he was silent. There was something odd about that, generally he would be saying something, usually of the rude variety but I didn't really mind. I was unreasonably nervous for this encounter and all the reassurance I needed was his hand holding mine like it was his lifeline to the world. He was my anchor at that moment; literally and metaphorically.

We were a silent group as we made our way to the elevator, Luke breaking the quiet with a remark on the interior design. I knew he was trying to lighten the mood but it failed miserably.

Church met us at the top of the stairs and immediately set off, as though he was marching us to our deaths. I shuddered at the thought and internally cursed myself again for being an idiot. What if they had found the books? I clutched Jace's hand tighter.

"Are you all right, Jaci?" Simon asked on my other side. "You just went really pale."

I forced a smile. "I'm fine, just a headache."

Clary shot me a sidelong glance at that. I only got headaches when I was completely exhausted and she knew I was lying. But she didn't have time to call me out on it before we reached the library.

Maryse had her back to us as the door swung open, swishing softly over the carpet. From the back, she looked almost exactly like Isabelle and it was unnerving. But what was even more unnerving was the glittering smile from the figure who stood before her, facing towards us. Raphael. Well, his projection.

"Raphael?" Clary gasped as though she had never considered the possibility of him existing anymore.

Raphael said something in response but I missed it. Maryse had turned and met my eyes. She held my gaze trapped in eyes the same intense blue as her son's. Conveyed in that one look was mistrust, curiosity, caution, and – something that didn't quite make sense – recognition. I didn't bother to think on it long, just glad that outright hatred wasn't present.

"Jace," Maryse said, turning her piercing gaze to her adopted son, her voice colored with anxiety. "Did something happen? Why are you back so soon? I thought you were going to stay with-" She cut off at sight of the others in the room. "And who are you?"

"Jace's sister," Clary said quietly.

Maryse nodded curtly. "You look like Valentine." There was a touch of disgust in her tone. I didn't bother to get upset about it, might as well have Mrs. Lightwood hate all of us, not just me and Jace. "You brought a rogue, your sister, and a couple of mundanes with you?" she demanded of Jace. It's not safe for any of you here, especially mundanes."

"But I'm not a mundane," Luke said softly. "And we are perfectly capable of keeping Simon safe."

"But who- _Lucian_."

Luke gave a very fake impression of a smile. "Hello, Maryse. It's been a long time."


	7. Contemplating Words That Start With S

**How does a fluff chapter next sound?**

* * *

><p>"Not long enough," I heard her mutter. She went to sit at Hodge's old desk, looking utterly exhausted.<p>

Jace squeezed my hand gently before letting it go.

Raphael's eyes flashed as only a vampire's could. "You killed Gabriel."

Even though part of me already knew that Luke had killed before, I couldn't help but glance over at him. He still didn't look like a killer even if he did turn into a wolf at least once a month.

"I did, yes, just like he killed the pack leader before him. That's how it works with lycanthropes," he added for my benefit.

"Seems… brutal," I commented.

"Pack leader?" Maryse asked, ignoring me.

"If you lead the pack now," Raphael said, "it's time for us to talk." His gaze flashed to Simon who was looking very, very pale. "Though not at this exact moment, perhaps."

"I'll send someone over to arrange it. Things have been busy lately, I might be behind on the niceties."

"Especially with a pack member drained of blood in some alley," Simon commented.

"Simon!" I cried sharply while Raphael hissed with distaste.

"Watch yourself, darkling," he threatened and turned to Maryse. "Is our business here concluded?"

She sighed and moved something around on the desk, probably some documents on how to be as emotionally hostile as possible. "If you say the Night Children aren't involved in these killings, then I'll take you at your word. I'm required to, unless other evidence comes to light."

"To light?" the vampire repeated. "That is not a phrase I like." And swiftly, the projection disappeared.

"Is he _dead_?" Clary asked.

"No," I snapped, irritated by her stupid questions. "It was a projection because he can't come into the Institute." I glanced at her and cut off her next inquiry. "Vampires cannot step onto hallowed ground."

"I'm glad to hear you've been doing your research," Maryse commented, sounding nothing of the sort.

I held my head high and met her icy blue gaze steadily. "I recently discovered what I really am. I'm determined to find out just what it all means so excuse me for being proactive instead of sitting around waiting for someone to supply information for me. I figured being as direct as possible would be helpful in this situation. Not to mention this library is an excellent resource."

"Are you sure Valentine did not teach you all that you know?" she asked in a scathing tone.

"No," I admitted, catching her off guard, "but I highly doubt it. You can even have the Silent Brothers look into it. I promise I'll hold still while they dissect my brain."

"We should hardly speak of the Silent Brothers in front of a couple of mundanes." She glanced to Simon and Clary. "You two found your way in, I trust you can find your way out."

I opened my mouth to argue but Jace cut me off with a slight shake of his head. He was right; I was over stepping every boundary which really wasn't good for me. Simon cast me a dark look as he ducked out the door followed by a sullen Clary.

"Raphael was here about the cub killed today, wasn't he?" Jace demanded, drawing attention away from me.

"That, and a dead warlock. Found murdered downtown. Two days apart." I noticed Maryse had a way of clipping her sentences.

"Was the warlock drained of blood, too?" I asked.

I was answered with an icy stare. "I don't care to talk Clave business with you, Jaelyn. Especially in front of Lucian Graymark."

"I go by Luke now. Luke Garroway," Luck supplied pleasantly.

"You look like a mundane," Maryse said sharply.

"As well as these niceties are going," Jace interrupted, stepping forward so that he stood between the two adults, "let's get to the point."

Luke nodded. "Jace and Jaci want trials before the Clave and I'm willing to vouch for them. I was there at Renwick's, when Valentine revealed himself. I fought him and we nearly killed each other. I can confirm that everything they say happened is the truth."

Jace's adopted mother let out a very attractive snort. "Because your word is worth so much."

"Hey!" I interjected, stepping around Jace's attempt to restrain me. "What makes you say that? Because he's a werewolf? You're trusting a vampire based off his word, aren't you?"

My words hung in the air undisturbed for a moment.

"I'm not sure," Maryse said finally, "if this flippancy is natural to you, or if you've been spending too much time with my daughter."

"It's not flippancy! It's-" Jace shot me a harsh glare, "… exasperation," I finished quietly, feeling suddenly very tired and emotionally drained.

"Leave it alone, Jaci," Luke said gently. "I'm willing to be tried by the Sword, Maryse, if that will help."

Tried by the Sword? That would be _the Sword_. As in, this was a really big deal. As in, creepy underground city big deal. At the very thought of the Silent City I started to feel feverish. My mind began to conjure up images of suffocating blackness, structures collapsing and the earth rushing in from all sides. And along with the ground came the water. The water that poured into my lungs, clouded my thoughts, made my body begin to burn from the lack of oxygen…

"I need to sit down."

But apparently I'd already dropped to my knees, well judging from the fact that they hurt anyways. Jace was crouched beside me looking concerned.

"Are you all right?"

"More or less," I muttered, taking is proffered hand and allowing myself to be pulled to my feet.

He observed my face for a moment – Maryse and Luke were still talking in the background, arguing about Valentine. "You look like you're going to be sick."

I shook my head in an effort to clear it. I was beginning to feel steadier but I still held onto Jace. "Just thinking about the Sword being in the Silent City and the possibility of having to go back."

"You really-"

"The Sword?" Maryse cut in. "Of course. A trial by the Sword would solve all of this, though…"

"Jaci can't-"

"I'll do it," I cut Jace off. I didn't want Maryse to know about my problems with being underground.

Luke gave me a concerned look. He knew but said nothing about it. "The only one who can use the Sword is the Inquisitor."

"So call her," Jace said reasonably.

I received another glance from Luke. "That wouldn't be a good idea."

"She's already on her way."

The three of us – Jace, Luke, and me – all stared blankly at Maryse as though she'd suddenly began barking incessantly at us.

"You didn't…" Luke began.

"I didn't! Did you think the Clave wouldn't involve itself in this wild tale of Forsaken warriors and Portals and staged deaths? After what Hodge did? We're all under investigation now, thanks to Valentine. The Inquisitor could put Jace in prison. She could strip his Marks." She was nearly in tears.

"So you sent him away," I said quietly.

Maryse met my eyes and held my gaze, no trace of resentment was visible. It was almost as if she was silently begging me to understand her actions.

"She has no love for us."

"I'm not leaving," Jace said solidly, giving my hand a quick squeeze. "And it's probably best if Jaci stays too. What will she do to you if she gets here and we're gone? She'll think you conspired to hide us. She'll punish you – all of you."

Luke considered Jace gravely. "He's right. She'll blame you if they leave and they'll never get to be Shadowhunters. Whether I like it or not, the Inquisitor is the only reasonable option." He turned his attention to us. "If you wish to stay part of the Clave, you'll have to cooperate with her. But at least you're telling the truth."

Maryse sighed, looking even more tired. "Ultimately, it's your decision. If you want the trial, you can stay until the Inquisitor comes."

"I'll stay," said Jace, determined.

They turned to me expectantly. I'm not sure what really they were expecting, maybe they'd thought I would leave and go back to being a mundane. I thought about it. It really wasn't a terrible alternative…

One side of my mouth gave an involuntary twitch into a bitter smile. "I'm not going anywhere."


	8. City Lights and Sleepless Nights

"You always, I mean _always _have blood on you," Jace pointed out as soon as we were out of the library.

I waved off his concern. "It's not mine."

"Thank the Angel."

I paused and stared up at him. He was taller than me but not extraordinarily so. "Do you really mean that?"

"Huh?" His gold eyes gave me a searching look. I wasn't entirely certain that he'd heard my question and therefore wasn't confused on purpose just to annoy me.

"Never mind." What I needed was a shower, not a deep conversation with Jace – especially after how my day had gone so far. It was impossible to forget the events of just that morning.

He nodded, surprisingly letting the matter drop and we continued to walk on in silence. The cut on his lip was now a dark line of dried blood. Bruises were gaining coloration over his skin and he looked frankly terrible; not to mention he looked as though he hadn't slept in days.

"That man – at the bar – he had a knife," I said, remembering at random. "He didn't cut you, did he?"

Jace looked down at himself. "I don't think so. Don't worry about it."

"Easier said than done," I murmured, turning to the door of my room. I opened the door to go in without another word before I changed my mind and turned back to him. He was frozen there, in the hall looking unlike himself. "Get some rest. You need it."

A weak smile pulled at his mouth. "I must look bad if _you're _telling me to rest."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked in a failed attempt at anger.

"Go shower and sleep."

I made a face at him and stepped back into my room. It was only once I was in my bathroom, getting into the shower that I realized I was still smiling. Barely. But still.

* * *

><p>I didn't bother to check the time, I didn't want to know. My body told me that it was late and time to sleep once I had finished cleaning up and Peeta's absence from my room told me he'd gone to find a quiet corner to sleep in. He must've mewed by the door until someone let him out.<p>

The cool temperature of my room encouraged me to hurry to bed but I had something to take care of first.

The first part of my adventure was to scour my own room. Previously, I had discovered that the decorative top drawer in my nightstand was actually hollow, just without a functional way to access it which was perfect for hiding one of the books. By carefully removing the back of the cabinet, I was able to expose a random, useless space and I'd stashed City of Ashes in the space before replacing the backing. I checked that first, it was still stowed away safely.

Part the second of my adventure led me to the first room I'd stayed in at the Institute. It was one of many nondescript guest rooms, the only difference was that this one had a conveniently loose floorboard under which I'd placed City of Bones. As I checked to make sure the book was still there, I couldn't help but wonder if Peliel had something to do with these opportune hiding spots.

The third spot was harder to get to, especially unnoticed. The greenhouse was a long journey from the old guest room I had once occupied but fortunately, given the time of night, no one else was out and about. Church greeted me at the foot of the greenhouse steps.

"What are you up to, huh?" I asked him, stooping to scratch his ears. "Are you going up to the greenhouse with me?"

The cat mrowed at me before heading off down the hall, presumably in the direction of the kitchen.

"I'll take that as a no…" So I climbed the steps by myself and shouldered open the doors to the greenhouse, hoping Maryse didn't have Hodge's habit of wandering through the flowers at night.

The glow from the city gave me enough illumination to find the plant I was looking for. It was nothing spectacular, just a small, leafy shrub growing in a far corner of the greenhouse in a wide and shallow pot. The third book was wrapped carefully in a waterproof bag and buried in the soil. I didn't actually need to dig the book up to see that the moss was thankfully undisturbed.

Relieved, I allowed myself to sink down onto the floor and just simply breathe. The fresh clean scent of plant life washed over me. It made me think of home. This city was foreign to me, it wasn't my home. Everything was unknown to me here. What did I even mean with the word, "home?" Hadn't I lived in New York my entire life? Wasn't New York my home? And what were those books even about? Why was I so damned determined to hide them?

My thoughts scared me. If I didn't know the answers to these questions – and I felt that at some point I had known – then did I even know who I was anymore?

* * *

><p>The door to my room was ajar when I returned. I wasn't particularly bothered by it, I wasn't sure whether I'd closed it or not. I'd thought I had but maybe I was wrong.<p>

I wasn't wrong.

Jace was there, on my bed as he was wont to be except there was one unusual change; he was asleep – sprawled out on top of my blankets and shivering in his choice of pajama pants with no shirt.

I'd rarely had a chance to see Jace asleep. He looked so much more vulnerable and… volatile. His expression changed with his dream, now blank, now scowling furiously, now almost happy. I could see that he was cold but I didn't want to wake him. Even asleep the poor boy looked tired. Since he was sleeping on his back and rudely using most of the pillow and he looked so uncomfortably cold and I was so hopelessly tired, I did the only reasonable thing I could've in that situation. I closed the door behind me, trusting my memory to guide me through the dark and to the bed, and laid down with my head on his chest, aligning my body with his, and fell asleep to the even tempo of his heart.


	9. Animal Planet

**Oh hey, remember when I made a promise about a nice fluffy chapter and then wrote only a paragraph of fluffiness? Well, here you go.**

* * *

><p>"Jaci." He didn't speak loudly, but his voice penetrated the darkness and I woke up immediately.<p>

In response, I kissed the nearest bit of him I could reach which happened to be his collar bone.

Jace hugged me tightly. "You're freezing."

I was a little cold, but not terribly. After all, I was stealing some of his body heat. But now that he'd brought it to my attention, I realized I w_as _a little chilly. "Keep me warm," I mumbled into his neck.

His voice was low and rough when he answered. "I'm trying but your room is apparently situated within the Arctic Circle."

"Blankets," I muttered, trying to smush myself closer to him somehow. I felt, rather than heard his low chuckle.

"You've managed to kick them off the bed."

Which meant he expected me to pick them up. With a groan, I rolled off of his chest – immediately missing his warmth – and felt about blindly until I found the comforter I had somehow managed to maneuver out from underneath two sleeping teenagers and onto the floor. Under any other circumstance, I would've been impressed with my skills. Under the present circumstance, I was annoyed that the blankets were so far away and had made me move.

Irritably, I threw the blanket over us and curled up on my side in an attempt to go back to sleep.

"Jaci," came that irresistible low voice. "Come back, I miss you."

I turned so I was facing Jace. I could just barely make out the features of his face in the darkness. "I'm right here."

"But you were right here," he said, pointing to his chest. "Be there again."

"Demanding much, Jonathan?" I asked with a smile.

"Yes," he answered. "I'm demanding everything that matters to me that's within my reach."

My face grew hot and no words would come out of my mouth. After a few moments, the darkness made me brave and I rested my head back on his chest. I could hear his heart hammering as quickly as mine and I wrapped my arms around his neck feeling suddenly extremely emotional.

"Do you," I began but hesitated, staring up at the ceiling I couldn't distinguish in the darkness.

"Yes, Jaci?"

"Do you think it's… possible to, I don't know, do you…" I took a deep breath. "What are your thoughts on-" I choked back my question. Of course I already knew his answer. _To love is to destroy_.

He rested his cheek against the top of my head.

"I'm not a falcon," I said finally. "He can't take me away from you."

"I know," Jace whispered. "I won't let him."

"Jace?"

"Yes, Jaci?"

"Do you think it's possible to…" I didn't even know how to form my own question.

He seemed to understand and didn't try to press it.

"The Inquisitor," he began after a lengthy silence, "are you worried?"

"Should I be?" I asked, knowing very well that I was.

"No," Jace answered confidently. "You haven't done anything wrong. She can't hold you or detain you or even accuse you of anything. Except maybe being an orphan but you're not exactly the first Shadowhunter orphan…"

I found his cheek and kissed it. Sometimes, it felt like Jace was more of an orphan than I was. I had Jocelyn and Luke and – when she felt like it – Clary even though none of them, as it turned out, were my real family members. I may as well claim Simon as my brother. I considered the possibility of life if Simon actually _was _my flesh and blood.

"What if she thinks like Maryse?" I asked quietly.

Jace hesitated before he responded. "She won't."

"Don't lie to me to make me feel better."

He lazily traced a design on my back. "She won't think like Maryse, Jaci. I promise."

"What you mean is she'll be worse, right?"

"Sometimes you understand what I mean too well."

Understand Jace? Was that even possible? Whenever he thought I knew what he meant, I'd really just made an unbelievably brilliant guess.

"It's not fair," he said simply.

I took a moment to try and figure out what he referred to before giving up and asking.

"It's not fair how well you understand me." His arms tightened around my waist. "You're a complete mystery to me."

"I'm not _that _complicated," I said simply. "I'm pretty straightforward, actually."

"Enlighten me."

"Well," I began and paused to yawn, "I have childhood issues with faeries. My mom has always preferred Clary over me and I've been awfully accepting of that. Let's see, what else… I've never dated anyone because I can't stand boys my age-"

"Ouch," Jace interjected. I could hear the smile in his voice.

"You- you're different."

"Thanks?"

"It's a good thing. You're more mature than anyone else I've ever met. I don't know, we have a lot in common. And a lot of differences. And technically I've still never dated anyone. I don't know, there's really not that much to know about me. I have standards for myself and I never live up to them. I'm always afraid I'm going to mess up. Well, I do mess up, a lot."

"No you don't," Jace said boldly. "You're an exceptional Shadowhunter, especially for the amount of training you've had. And there's something else I'd like to address…"

I waited patiently. Whatever he wanted to talk about was important. His heart was pounding and I was starting to get nervous.

"We always manage to avoid… we always avoid talking- dammit. We've never really talked about _us_."

I stared wide-eyed at the wall. Jace's words rang in my ears and echoed in my mind. What was he saying? "Do you mean about what we… well, what we are?"

He made a strange grunting-humming noise that I took to mean yes.

I closed my eyes and changed my view from dark shades of muted colors to utter blackness. "If it's all right with you, I'd like to be your girlfriend. If you're okay with that?"

He never told me if he was or wasn't okay with it. His lips were too busy being pressed against mine.

* * *

><p><em>There once was a small family – a mother and her two young daughters – that lived in a small apartment. There was nothing particularly special about the apartment; there were thousands like it in the city. The faeries knew that. They knew that there was nothing magical about the room where the two little girls slept. The magic, the call of the place was the little girls themselves. <em>

_The girl with the red hair was only a four years old and she did not see the faeries. Their pretty, sparkling wings did not catch her eye. When she found one of them, she quickly lost interest and returned to her mother. Yes, the little girl _was _magical, but only inside. She was magical so far inside that even the faeries could not reach it which was odd. Everything else about the little girl was normal-magical. Like all the other Nephilim children, her blood sang of angels and men. _

_The other little girl was special indeed. She saw the faeries. She tried to talk to them in the park when they would dance for her, but the faeries did not want to talk. They wanted this special girl to dance with them. She was so different from the others and they wanted her. They wanted this pretty trophy for themselves. Yes, this one, they said, this one they would catch. This one they would keep. She would be their pet._

_So the faeries set out at night to fetch the little girl, their pet. They had already named her amongst themselves, she was their diamond, _Kosmima_. They went to her window and crept inside to fetch their magic pet but she did not want to go with them, out into the night. The faeries did not like that. They would have to train their pet and make her theirs. _

_So they took her outside and the moon watched silently as they led her to the park. Others of their kind danced everywhere for it was the night of the full moon. The dancing stopped when they all saw the little girl with the long brown hair._

_She stared at them all with big hazel eyes, she was frightened. She wanted to be back home with her mother and her little sister, she wanted to be safe._

_The faeries stared at her. They all could feel it, the pull of this magic child and soon they began the dance again, drawing her into their clutches. They danced and they danced while the moon watched but soon the little girl tried to leave. _

_The faeries could not have such an unruly pet. She had to be disciplined and taught how to behave. So they led her to the edge of the pool and pushed her in. If she could not behave, they would destroy the spirit that drove the husk they wished to possess. They kept her under the water but she would not stop fighting. The magic in her was much stronger than they had guessed. The faeries were more determined to hold her under._

_It was impossible. The little girl would not be broken. She had won her freedom from them all and so was led back to her small family in the small apartment. There, the faeries – disguised as shadows – left her forever with a vow to leave her be, unless she ever came to them willingly._

* * *

><p>I woke up in a cold sweat, kicking desperately at the darkness rushing in, crushing me. There was no way to escape it. I was trapped and this was how I would die.<p>

"Jaci!" Jace shouted.

I was so confused, why was Jace here? Where were we that we were both being crushed? What was even happening?

"Jaci?" he said again, sounding much more concerned and less harsh. That's when I realized I was crying and hyperventilating. "It's all right," he murmured, pulling me close to him. "I've got you."

My eyes were finally focusing and taking in my surroundings. I wasn't suffocating or drowning, I was safe in my room in the Institute with Jace.

"I can't do it," I croaked in a horse whisper. "I can't go into that damn city."

He didn't respond but pulled himself up into a sitting position with me on his lap. I rested my head on his shoulder and my arms wrapped around him as though this were the most natural thing in the world. And like that, I cried. I cried pointless, desperate tears and Jace held me, silent through it all.

"I can't," I repeated once my breathing was normal.

"Shh." His arms around me tightened.

"I can't, I can't, I can't."

"Stop that," he commanded, turning my face to his. I stared into his searching golden eyes – the color just visible in the pre-dawn light – and wondered what he thought of me. Here was the Shadowhunter boy who refused to cry, to show true emotion confronted with me, the useless emotional wreck. Gently, he wiped the tears off my cheeks with his thumb. "You _can_, Jaci. I know you can. You've survived so many things that should've killed you. You can, I know that."

"No, you don't understand," I pleaded. "I _can't_."

"You can," he said sternly. "And you will."

We looked at each other for a few moments. I felt like this was a test and I still didn't know if I could catch us.

"Hey," he said gently with a smirk, "no one said you'd be alone."

I let out the breath I hadn't even known I'd been holding.

* * *

><p>Alec was the one who came to get us and inform us of the Inquisitor's presence in the library. He appeared to be feeling quite fashionable and had a scarf wrapped around his neck. I gave him a suspicious look as I shoved Jace out into the hallway. Apparently Alec had been busy yesterday…<p>

Now alone, I quickly ran a brush through my hair and got myself ready in dark blue jeans and a long sleeved, nondescript shirt. I didn't really know anything about this Inquisitor and I had no intentions of giving her a bad impression.

_She's just a person, _I told myself. _A person who can have my life destroyed, but still just a person._

Jace got to the library moments before I did. He was standing facing a woman clad entirely in grey with silvery hair and pale skin who looked as though she had recently been pressed and starched particularly for this confrontation with a couple of rumpled teenagers.

"You are the boy?" the woman – the Inquisitor – asked.

"Well," the words spilled from my mouth without thought, "he's obviously not the girl."

Frosty eyes turned on me and attempted to bore holes in my ignorant mind. She was one hell of a terrifying person.

"Then you must be the girl, Valentine's little… pet."

Bristling, I advanced into the library, towards her. "I am _not_ Valentine's pet!"

"Jaelyn," Maryse apparently was just behind me in the race of arriving in the library. "That is enough. Yes, Inquisitor. This is Jonathan Morgenstern and Jaelyn…" she looked to me for help.

"Catori," I snapped.

The Inquisitor's eyes flashed to me and then to Jace, measuring us both. "Look at me," she commanded in a voice that was used to being obeyed. In an instant she had one hand under my chin and the other under Jace's, digging into his skin. "You will call me Inquisitor, you will not call me anything else. Do you understand?"

Jace glared at her.

"What else are we supposed to call you?" I asked in a scathing tone. "It's not like we know you by any other name."

"Silence, Jaelyn Morgenstern."

I tried to wrench my face from her grasped but only succeeded in making her draw blood with her nails. "My name is Jaelyn Catori."

Her grip tightened. "You are no Catori, you are Jaelyn Morgenstern. To claim a name of your own fabrication makes you a liar. Just like your father."

"Her father isn't Valentine," Jace stated, appearing extremely calm and staying levelheaded, unlike myself.

"And you insist on spreading his lies," the Inquisitor said with contempt. Her thin lipped mouth turned up into an unpleasant smile. Two grooves ran from the corners of her lips to her chin, making her appear for all the world to be a marionette doll. That was all she was, just a cruel, powerful puppet of the Clave. "Lucifer was rewarded for his rebellion when God cast him into the pits of hell. If either of you defy my authority, I can promise that you will envy him his fate."

I broke away from her hold and felt the air stinging the place where she had scratched me. She _was _just a person, only a puppet and I was pissed off. "Because a teenager mouthing off is comparable to Lucifer."

The Inquisitor took a step toward me with blazing eyes.

"Imogen-," Maryse cut in. "Inquisitor Herondale, they've agreed to a trial by the Sword. You can find out whether they're telling the truth."

"About their father? Yes, I know I can." Maryse then became a victim of the icy unnatural glare. "You know, Maryse, the Clave is not pleased with you. You and Robert are the guardians of the Institute. Your record has been relatively clean; however, we have sometimes wondered if you'd actually rescinded your allegiance to Valentine. To defend his children now would not bode well for you."

"I'm not his child," I cut in angrily. I could see Jace out of the corner of my eye attempting to stop me.

The blue gaze was back on me. The Inquisitor moved towards me like a lioness sizing up her prey. "One does not have to be blood to be family."

She made no sense, this crazy puppet woman. This newest point contradicted herself terribly. "Then why are you so concerned over us? The Lightwoods are Jace's family just like the Frays are mine!"

The lioness moves in as though for the kill, but waits, toying with her food – a gazelle. Bad manners. "Do you know about the cuckoo bird, Jaelyn Morgenstern?"

"The what?" Jace interjected, unable to keep the disbelief out of his voice.

Her attention caught by movement, the lioness moves to another seemingly helpless gazelle, abandoning – for the moment – her original target. The second gazelle, a male, tries to allow the female to escape while the lioness is distracted but there is no room to run.

"The cuckoo bird," the Inquisitor repeated. "You see, cuckoos are parasites. They lay their eggs in other birds' nests. When the egg hatches, the baby cuckoo pushes the other baby birds out of the nest. The poor parent birds work themselves to death trying to find enough food to feed the enormous cuckoo child who has murdered their babies and taken their places."

"Enormous?" asked Jace. "Did you just call us fat?"

"And last I checked, Alec, Isabelle, Max, and Clary were all still alive," I added. "Despite what you may think, I never shoved Clary out of our apartment window.

"It was an analogy."

"I am not fat."

"That was a terrible analogy."

Perturbed by the gazelles' efforts to each save the other, the lioness soon grows weary of their games and turns her attention on one –

"You _are _arrogant," the Inquisitor spat. "As well as intolerant. Did Valentine teach you that?"

– her original victim.

"Oh yes," I responded sarcastically. "He taught me from afar to be a sardonic teenager and conquer the world with my inane comments and maddening ability to be clever. His plan was originally to create an entire army of us but he was too caught up with faking his own death."

I heard Mayrse gasp.

The lioness moves in for the kill.

"And just like Valentine, you can't keep your temper," the Inquisitor barked. "With your smart comments you seek to gain control over those around you and when you can't you grow angry."

I gave her a bitter smile. "You've caught me."

The gazelle begins to run with the lioness in persuit. The lioness gathers herself,

"Before we do any digging around in that big head of yours, I suggest you cool your temper. And I know just where you can do that best."

"Are you sending her to her room?" Jace asked in surprise.

"I'm sending her to the prisons in the Silent City. After a night there I suspect she'll be a great deal more cooperative."

… and pounces. The female gazelle falls under the cat's claws and fruitlessly, the male makes one last attempt to save her. The lioness has won, as was known all along.

"You can't do that!" Jace shouted, moving towards the Inquisitor who had eyes only for me.

"You are not helping her, Jonathan."

The lioness beams with satisfaction as she walks away from the body of the female gazelle lying amongst the grasses of the savannah and staring lifelessly at the earth.


	10. The Boggart and the Fae

**Eep, I'm sorry this took so long. I've had this chapter half finished for ages. Unfortunately, I've lost my copy of City of Ashes which I've been using for reference so for right now, I've checked a copy out of the library to use for a few weeks at most. If I don't find it, I'll have to buy another copy. No worries though, I'm determined to finish this series because it will be... hopefully magnificent. **

**Anyway, I'm done now. Um, all right. Okay. Please review? **

* * *

><p>There was no chance for strength runes, no chance for goodbyes. I was whisked silently from the library before Jace and Maryse began yelling. About what, I had no idea. The Inquisitor was lecturing me, I heard only sound, not words.<p>

I was going back to the Silent City. Alone.

Jace wasn't going. He'd lied; I did have to go alone.

But it wasn't his fault. It was my fault. It was Valentine's fault. It wasn't Jace's fault.

There was no way to escape this. The Inquisitor had taken away my stele and my knives. She had no way of knowing my fear of the underground city. She didn't know. _Maybe, _I tried to comfort myself, _I'll master my fear. Maybe I'll get over it._

It was stupid to pretend.

And I stopped pretending the moment the Brothers closed the door of my cell and began retreated with the torch, leaving me chained to the back wall with the darkness closing in.

There wasn't enough air in the darkness. I couldn't breathe. Panic was taking over. I would've screamed, but my lungs forgot how to work.

_Water, water, every where,_

_And all the boards did shrink;_

_Water, water, every where,_

_Nor any drop to drink._

It was all my scattered mind could remember of the stupid poem. Water everywhere, crushing me. Shadows everywhere, holding me. Everything was blackness. I was going to die. Nothing could be done.

My knees gave out and something tugged at my wrist. It was one of the shadows holding me to the wall, keeping me under the water. I yanked and I pulled frantically. I was going to drown.

I was going to drown.

My hand hurt.

_Water, water, every where…_

The shadow wouldn't let go.

_We stuck, nor breath nor motion…_

I pulled.

_Day after day, day after day…_

I kicked.

_And all the boards did shrink…_

The shadow let go, I slipped from its grasp and into the water, where I would float to the top and be safe.

_Nor any drop to drink…_

I fell to the floor of the cell heavily and things began to make some sense. I wasn't drowning. There were no shadows here, only darkness. The thing that had been holding me was a manacle. The thing that had given way when I pulled was my thumb.

Cautiously, I tried moving my right hand – the one that had been chained to the wall – and screamed. My thumb was dislocated but at least I wasn't chained anymore.

I curled up on the floor with my eyes squeezed tightly shut and cradled my injured hand. Any movement hurt but it reassured me that I was still alive and on solid ground. As my panic dulled, the pain intensified.

Something moved near where the door would be in the darkness. It turned out to be the door itself. One of the Brothers shouldered it open and ran in with a torch. Had they heard me cry? We're they checking on me?

But then I recognized the sound. Screaming. The Silent Brother was screaming, his hood fallen back and his mouth like a gouge in his face. And he fell. The torch rolled to a stop at the bars of my cell.

Forgetting my hand, I lunged and grabbed it. By the light, I was able to see someone else at the door. The shadow smiled at me and with a pointed grin, it asked sweetly, "Will you come and play, Kosmima?"

* * *

><p>"Jace?" Isabelle called for what must have been the thousandth time. She'd looked all over the Institute for him, but he'd apparently disappeared. Or he was ignoring her.<p>

"He's avoiding everyone," Alec's voice seemed to answer her thought. He had just recently joined her in the search. "Or he might've gone to tell Clary about what happened to Jaci."

Isabelle gave her brother a flat look. "Do you _really _think he would traipse all the way to that grungy old bookstore to tell someone he doesn't even like that her sister, that she doesn't even like, is going to be spending a singular night in the Silent City, the safest place she could possibly be, when he could just call her? Especially since I've already sent her a text."

Alec shrugged and peaked in the kitchen. "He's probably avoiding everyone. Maybe he's mad that Mom and the Inquisitor got summed out and he's stuck here. Hi, Max," he added.

"I think he's worried about Jaci," Max said, sliding off of his stool to join them in the hall.

"Why would he be worried about her?" Alec asked a little stiffly. His younger brother looked confused by the question.

Isabelle sighed. If Jace was in fact sulking in a corner worrying about Jaci then he would probably be up in the greenhouse where he knew none of the Lightwood children would go thanks to allergies. And if he was, then he was an idiot and didn't understand what sort of girl Jaci was.

"We haven't checked her room yet," Alec pointed out.

"Jace would not be creepily sulking around her room just because the Inquisitor is insane," Isabelle huffed, but she turned on her heal and headed directly for Jaci's room anyway, leaving her brothers behind her. There was really no telling what Jace would or would not do recently. Especially when it came to Jaci. Usually, Jace could more or less be expected to do the opposite of most normal humans but around Jaci he acted just like anyone else who had feelings. Izzy liked being able to see that Jace did have some emotion besides self-loathing. And she really liked that it was directed towards her best friend.

Almost sprinting, Izzy turned the corner towards Jaci's room and collided solidly with Jace.

"Where have you been?" she demanded before catching sight of his face. He looked drawn and pale. "What's wrong?"

"We have to go to the Silent City."

Isabelle shook her head to clear it of the desperate sound of his voice. Jace didn't panic. Ever. "Jace, she's fine. The Silent Brothers are there. Nothing will hurt her."

"No!" he shouted, shoving past her towards the weapons room. "You don't understand! Where is Maryse?"

"She and the Inquisitor got called out to Central Park. What – where-?" Isabelle shouted after him. "You are not going anywhere!"

He whirled to face her. There were shadows under his eyes that seemed like the permanent coloration of his skin. Isabelle couldn't remember the last time she'd seen him not looking completely exhausted. "The Silent City is _not _safe. The Silent Brothers aren't – Jaci's not –"

"Jaci is _fine_, Jace," Isabelle snapped. He was making her edgy with his weird behavior. Jace never acted like this.

He shook his head and stormed away with a determined glint in his eye.

* * *

><p>Wild laughter echoed through the darkness. The laugh was not pleasant, though the voice making it might have been. The shadow inched closer towards the girl who had slumped to the floor, dropping her torch. Her shoulders shook with the hysterical laughter that tore from her lips that was broken only by her shallow and desperate breaths. Her bloodied hand was cradled in her lap and her wide, hazel eyes stared blindly at the shadow.<p>

"Kosmima…"

The girl laughed and shook her head wildly, tears spilling onto her cheeks. "_No_," she moaned between peals of laughter. "_Get away from me,_" she gasped.

"Come and play…"

"_GET AWAY FROM ME!_" the girl screamed, seizing the torch in her uninjured hand and launching herself to her feet. She held the torch out before her like a sword. "Get back, _demon_," she hissed.

"Enough," a quiet voice from the doorway said. Valentine held up his witchlight, throwing a harsh illumination on the scene.

The shadow shrank back immediately and left the pool of light, disappearing into the darkness. Jaci could feel warmth return to her almost immediately. Her guess had been right, that thing was a demon. A demon that was under Valentine's control.

"So I see you've met Agramon," Valentine said with a smile that did not reach his voice. "Curious isn't it that _your_ greatest fear is _faeries_."

"Why- why did you…" Jaci sputtered, unable to hold her voice steady, "…to me."

"To you?" Valentine asked, suddenly moving to crouch outside of Jaci's cell. "It was the Clave that did this to you, Jaelyn. I would never have let anyone do this to you."

Jaci could almost feel the weight of the Silent City around her, feel the presence of the dead Shadowhunters buried there, the ones whose ashes were in the stone, the ones who had just been murdered. "_You lie,_" she hissed.

She could see Valentine's lips move but heard no sound. A dull ringing had started up in her ears and Valentine and his witchlight seemed to be getting farther away…

The torch dropped from Jaci's limp hand and sputtered out. She blinked once at the man who had once killed demons and now used them to do his bidding. Behind his back she caught site of the hilt of a sword. It was shaped like an angel with outstretched wings. Without a sound, her eyes rolled back in her head and she fell to the floor.

* * *

><p>Clary's heart had stopped for a moment when she saw the text from Isabelle. The Shadowhunter girl made it obvious how she felt about Clary, so why was she contacting her?<p>

_Jaci_. She paled instantly. The last time she had seen Jaci was when Maryse had dismissed her and Simon. And she had gone back to Luke's without a thought with Simon. Simon had called her his girlfriend. Was it possible that they could just have been fighting and now they were together? And Simon was fast asleep on her bed. This had turned out to be a strange night.

With a feeling of dread she couldn't explain, Clary finally opened the message. It was worse than she had imagined: "The Inquisitor locked Jaci in the Silent City for the night."

* * *

><p>After finding Alec, Isabelle had followed Jace to the weapons room where he was hurriedly grabbing gear.<p>

"Jace," Alec said in an exasperated tone. "The Silent City is perfectly safe. Plus," he added, one hand moving up to his cheek distractedly, "she can take care of herself."

But Jace ignored him. "I'm going. I'm not asking you to come with me but I won't leave her there, not with – " He broke off suddenly, staring at a point just behind Alec's shoulder. "Why is she here?" he demanded, back to his usual self.

Isabelle and Alec both whirled around to see Clary standing in the doorway looking breathless.

"You sent me a text message," Clary said, "You said the Inquisitor locked Jaci in the Silent City."

"Clary!" Isabelle cried. "I didn't mean you should race down here right _now_."

Clary was staring at Isabelle as though she was speaking an entirely different language. "Isabelle! _The Silent City!_ Don't you know…?"

Jace's golden eyes flashed and a smile crossed his face. It wasn't a happy smile. "As you obviously know, you're sister is in the Silent City. I'm going to get her out. Coming?"

"Jace!" Isabelle shouted. She turned to her brother. "Help me with this!"

But Alec just moved away from them. "He won't listen, Izzy."

"Try!" she barked.

Alec sighed and sat on the edge of the table. "The cells under the Silent City," he began, "they keep criminals there sometimes before deporting them to Idris to stand trial before the Council. People who've done really bad things," he added for Clary's benefit. "Murderers, renegade vampires, Shadowhunters who break the Accords. That's where Jaci is now. It's very high security."

"Being locked up with murderers sounds _very _safe," Jace drawled as he selected several seraph blades and stuck them in his belt.

"_Under _the Silent City?" Clary asked shrilly. "What's wrong with you people? Why aren't you more upset?"

"Jace is upset," Isabelle pointed out. "But it's not like there's anything to worry about. It's just one night and there isn't anyone else down there. We asked."

Jace muttered something that sounded oddly like "So you think."

Clary looked around in desperation as though one of the gleaming weapons would be able to make the entire situation make sense. "But what did she _do_?"

"She mouthed off to the Inquisitor," Alec said.

"If you agree she ought to be in jail, why did you ask me to come here?" Clary demanded.

"No one asked you to come here," Jace pointed out, now drawing runes on himself.

"And," Isabelle cut in, "no one said she should be in jail."

"Since you've brought up the fact that you're here," Jace said sounding inspired, "you can come along. We can break her out."

Isabelle whirled on her adoptive brother. Yes, she had been able to tell he cared about Jaci but he'd never made it this obvious before. "That won't help her!"

In the silent moment that followed, a strange sound could be heard that didn't belong to Jace as he tried to draw runes as quickly as he could without messing up.

"What's that?" Clary asked.

"It's coming from the library," Alec said as he stood up. "It might be someone trying to contact the Institute. I'll be right back."

Jace's head snapped up. "_No_," he breathed. "We can't be too late!"

Before either Isabelle or Clary could ask what they were too late for, Jace was rushing out of the room. It happened so quickly neither of them thought to stop him. His footsteps could be heard clearly as he ran towards the front door of the Institute. The next instant Alec had returned.

"It _was_ someone trying to contact the Institute," he gasped. "One of the Silent Brothers. Something's happened in the Bone City."

The three stared at each other and then seized the nearest weapons, sprinting after Jace without bothering with gear. Somehow, impossibly, he had known Jaci was in danger. There was no doubt in any of their minds that that was the case.


	11. Never Letting Go

**A thousand apologies for the wait but here it is! Please forgive me. I can add a fluff chapter after this one, if you want. Please don't hate me...**

* * *

><p>Something was moving across my face. It felt like a breeze, dragging my hair over my nose. It tickled. I must have fallen asleep outside and now it was nighttime. Susan was going to be angry; she always got mad whenever I fell asleep outside. Had I done all of my chores? I couldn't remember.<p>

I moved my hand to bat away the annoying strand of hair and pain crashed on me like a wave. Everything hurt, but my hand seemed to be the center of it.

"Jaci," a voice murmured. "C'mon, Jaci."

I liked the voice, it was… nice. I tried to tell it that.

"Open your eyes, Jaci," the same voice said. It didn't sound as nice this time. "I swear to the Angel, if you do not open your eyes, I will make you."

My eyelids felt as though they weighed a thousand pounds each, but I did as the voice said.

"_Jace_," I breathed. There he was, dramatic shadows cast on his face as he held me. I could hear the pounding of his heart. "Jace."

"Is she okay?" asked Clary's voice. I looked and saw her standing just behind Jace.

"Clary? You're here too?" I was confused. The last thing I could remember was… "Valentine! He has the Mortal Sword!" I said urgently, trying to sit up.

Jace held me back. "Calm down. You're injured."

I glanced at my right hand and shuddered. The skin was pulled away completely in some spots and even from the oddly tinted light of the witchlight I could see it was bruised. "Ow."

"Did you hit your head?" Clary asked anxiously. She crouched beside Jace, bringing the witchlight closer.

"Look at her eyes," Isabelle said, appearing on the scene. "What do you think?" and then, turning to Clary, "You're going to blind her with that witchlight."

"We can't put it away." Alec ducked into the cell after his sister. "We need it to see. And if she's injured, we'd better draw an _iratze_."

"You're all here? Why are you all here?" Terrified, I turned to Jace. "Am I dead?" I flicked my gaze to Clary. "Did I die?"

"No," Clary said firmly. I noticed she had a stele clutched in her hand.

"Are you all right?" Alec asked professionally. "What happened? Can you remember?"

I groaned. My head hurt. I didn't want to think.

"No more questions," Jace snapped protectively. He rested his hand along my cheek and made me look at him. He seemed slightly out of focus as though he was behind a cloudy window. "I'm going to draw a healing rune now. This may hurt."

"_I'll _draw it," Clary cut in, brandishing her stele. Gently, she placed the tip of it to my skin. The rune burned but my hand felt better.

"Thanks," I muttered. "The Silent Brothers –"

"Are dead," Clary finished.

"I know." I struggled to sit up again and Jace helped me this time. "Valentine killed them. With a," my voice caught, "demon."

Clary looked around frantically. "It's not still here, is it?"

"No, Valentine took it with him. I think." I tried standing up and Jace insisted on helping me but I shook him off irritably. "I'm _fine_, Jace."

His expression was somber but he said nothing.

"We need to get out of here," Isabelle said, pointing out the obvious. "We need to alert-"

"Jaci!"

If Jace hadn't shouted, I wouldn't've even noticed that I'd somehow managed to fall back to a sitting position. I shook off Clary's frantic attempts at assistance.

"I'm fine, it's nothing. I can stand by myself."

"You just fell," Alec pointed out, "that's not exactly standing."

"And you have to _walk_," Clary stressed, grabbing my arm and hauling me to my feet as best she could.

"Enough," said Isabelle, ducking out of the ruined cell. Apparently they'd managed to smash the door off its hinges somehow. I couldn't even fathom. "There's no reason to wait around for whatever killed the Silent Brothers to come finish us off as a cool down."

"Agramon."

They all stared at me like I was insane.

"That's what'd be… coming back."

"All right, Jaci. Let's go." Jace pulled my left arm over his shoulder and Clary still clung to my right side. Like an awkward entry in a six-legged race, we began to move towards the door, giving Brother Jeremiah's body a wide berth.

It didn't help, the witchlight still illuminated him enough for me to see the torn skin, the blood, the look of terror.

"I've never seen a Silent Brother afraid, I didn't think it was possible for them to feel fear," Alec muttered.

Jace's voice was hard when he spoke. "Everyone feels fear."

I was staring at Brother Jeremiah. Killed because he was poisoned by fear. Shadowhunters usually died in battle, not for simply being where they were supposed to be safe from demons – and faeries. "Farewell," I murmured.

Closing my eyes, I allowed Jace and Clary to lead me out of the Silent City, now the silent grave of the Silent Brothers.

* * *

><p>They were waiting for us. The other Shadowhunters, about twenty in all, I think. Their images swam in the witchlight before me. I heard their words but they bounced off, leaving no impression. All I knew was that the Inquisitor was there and she hated me and Jace and Clary were obviously helping me and that was bad. For them. I tried to move away but they held on tighter, it almost hurt.<p>

Someone – Maryse – was talking. Alec answered her. His voice came and went like a bad signal on a radio. Sometimes he was clear, sometimes he was white noise. That was odd, that someone's voice could sound like static. How did he do that?

"_Dead?_" Maryse's voice said, coming in clearly. "What do you mean they're dead?"

They must've been talking about the Silent Brothers. I wanted to point out dead meant no longer living, but I didn't.

"I think it's quite clear what he means."

That voice.

I shivered and pulled away from Clary and Jace determinedly, no longer struggling to comprehend. The lioness was back and I was angry.

"They are all dead?" _she _asked Alec. "You found no one alive in the City?"

"Aside from me?" I asked quietly. I wasn't sure if anyone heard me except for Jace, who hissed at me to be quiet.

"Not that we saw, Inquisitor," Alec answered politely.

"That you _saw_." She placed stress on the last word, both insulting Alec's ability to know the difference between dead and alive and giving slight hope to everyone else. It was pointless, I knew. "There may yet be survivors. I would send your people into the City for a thorough check."

The assembled Shadowhunters moved past us and into the gaping entrance of the City. I thought wildly of a giant, swallowing them all whole.

The signal of the conversation became faulty again. I caught words occasionally that meant nothing to me. My head _hurt_. Everything hurt. I didn't like it and I wanted it to stop.

"Jaci said Valentine took the sword, and that he used a demon," Clary's voice cut into my wandering thoughts.

The Inquisitor grinned at me. She looked like a skeleton robed in grey.

"He's used demons to aid him before." She sounded almost triumphant. "And with the protection of the Cup on him, he could summon some very dangerous creatures. More dangerous than Raveners, or the pathetic Forsaken."

"I personally think that Raveners and Forsaken are plenty super, duper awful," I rambled. "I mean, alligators are creepy enough but why would they need more legs? Four are okay. And eyes. Lots and lots and lots of eyes. If they had pinchers," I put my fingers up by my mouth and made clicking noises, "they'd be really… gross."

Clary was staring at me.

"He had a thingummy, though," I said in my most helpful voice. "It was all dark and… cold. Well, I was cold. It was cold. Everything was cold. Like winter. But worse. Not freezing but freezing." I needed them to understand how cold I was down in the dungeon, as though that would help them understand what Valentine had with him. "It called me names."

"Does she usually-?" Maryse began to ask.

"The sword! He wanted the sword! He had the sword!"

The Inquisitor's eyes looked funny when her eyebrows moved like that. She should put them down…

"So you're saying that Valentine killed the Silent Brothers because he wanted the Angel's Sword?" she asked. "The night before you were supposed to stand trial by it? How very convenient."

I blinked.

"Valentine wouldn't take the sword for Jaci," Jace cut in. "And she's obviously not okay right now!"

Steely grey versus brilliant gold.

"Do not think I have forgotten about you, Jonathan Morgenstern."

"Look at her!" Jace shouted, pointing towards me. Except I didn't realize he was pointing towards me and I turned to look over my shoulder, lost my balance, and sat down solidly on the grass, completely surprised.

Clary dropped in front of me and stared into my eyes. She was so close.

"Something's wrong with her," she said in a shaking voice. "Something serious."

"She probably needs a healing rune." The Inquisitor sounded irate. "An _iratze_ or-"

"We tried that," Isabelle spat. "It obviously isn't working! She said something about Agramon. She may be poisoned!"

"She's shamming. She ought to be in the Silent City's cells right now and _you can all join her if you wish_."

Alec stepped into my line of vision. "You can't say that-"

Suddenly the grass had grown enough to touch my face. How odd.

"_Look at her!" _Alec sounded so angry. Silly, silly, angry Alec. "She can't even stand up. She needs doctors, she needs-"

Black is such a pretty color… Silence such a pretty sound…

* * *

><p>Magnus's couch was quite comfortable, as long as I kept my eyes closed. The vibrant pink was almost florescent and painful when the light hit it, which isn't entirely terrible for a bed. I mean, your eyes are supposed to be closed when you're sleeping anyway.<p>

But the problem was, I couldn't sleep. Every time I shut my eyes, the shadows seemed to invisibly fill the room. It was as though I could feel them moving closer. _Kosmima_. I had forgotten that name but now it echoed in my mind.

"I can help you sleep," Magnus's voice drifted to me from the doorway.

Through the gloom I saw his outline, made bulkier by a fuzzy bathrobe, move towards me. It was late.

"I'm fine," I lied. Pride kept me from admitting I was afraid of the darkness of the den. Besides, the warlock still looked exhausted from healing me. I hadn't forgotten how he had collapsed the moment the gold net of magic light had vanished.

"Why don't I believe that?" he asked, letting a finger rest momentarily on my forehead. "You weren't poisoned in the usual sense but you were still poisoned. There's no possibly way you could be 'fine.'"

He was right, of course. Aside from the dreams, my body felt as though someone had let my insides fall out and had forgotten to replace them. I felt oddly empty and my mind was frantic and scattered but I didn't say a thing. After a moment, Magnus sighed and moved away.

"If you change your mind, don't come find me," he warned, sounding suddenly brisk and irritated. "Bother Jace, he seems to like it."

Jace. He'd been the one to find me. Even though he hadn't gone with me, he'd come for me. Knowing that made my non-existent insides squirm with embarrassment and shyness. Part of it I was pretty sure came from the fact that I couldn't exactly remember everything that had happened in the Silent City. Did I say something? Or maybe do something? As soon as we were both exiled to Magnus's apartment, he'd disappeared into the room he was staying in without so much as a word to me. Well, at least I think that's what had happened. I couldn't honestly remember much.

But what I did remember didn't involve Jace. I did remember a flash of green eyes, a splotch of black hair, a golden net, and someone saying over and over "too late" like some sort of strange cadence. But no Jace.

I closed my eyes again and fancied I could see something move through my closed eyelids. For an instant I considered screaming for Magnus and begging him to help me, but I didn't. He was being serious when he said to leave him be. It was, after all, extremely late.

Staring at the indistinguishable ceiling, I started to grow angry. He was my _boyfriend_. He was a _Shadowhunter._ Nothing I could've done would make him hate me, if I remembered correctly he'd been aware that there was something wrong with me and therefore I was not to be held accountable for any offensive actions. The fact that he was avoiding me like this was stupid, especially when the shadows crept every time I so much as blinked.

Determinedly, I gathered up the fuzzy blanket I had been curled under and trudged down the hall to the room Jace was staying in. I raised my hand to knock and the door sprung open, revealing an ashen faced Jace who barreled into me before glancing up.

"Jaci!" he breathed, grabbing me and steadying me.

I didn't bother answering him; I just shoved past him into his room and immediately settled into his bed. He was staring at me as though he'd never seen a girl before.

"I was coming to find you," he said quietly as he stepped back in his room and closed the door. "I thought you'd be asleep."

"Oh so _now _you care about how I am, when you think I'm probably unconscious, how very caring of you."

My sarcasm didn't make him angry like I'd expected it to. "I… I couldn't face you."

"Well it wouldn't've really been facing me. I wasn't really present when Magnus was working his magic. Thanks for acting like you care, by the way." I was glaring at him. I didn't want to be fighting with him but I was so scared and I just…

"I'm sorry, all right?" he fairly shouted, taking a step closer to me. I noted he was still wearing his gear even though it'd been hours since leaving the Silent City. "I was expecting the worst. I'm not used to having to worry about someone I ca-" He stopped suddenly.

"Someone you what? Can't stand?" I knew I was being irrational.

"Someone I care about, dammit."

I blinked at him. "We're Shadowhunters, things happen."

"But _this _shouldn't've happened!" He looked frantic. I'd never seen him so disconcerted before. "Of all the things that could possibly happen to you, Jaelyn Catori, this should not have been one."

"Jace… are you," I couldn't believe it, "are you blaming yourself for this?"

"Who else's fault is it?" he demanded.

Any anger I'd had was immediately gone. "Well, let's see… mine because I mouthed off to the Inquisitor, and Valentine's because he's psychotic. Jace, you helped rescue me!"

He shook his head sadly, those perfect blonde curls fell into his eyes. "You don't understand, if I'd been there sooner you wouldn't've needed to be rescued."

Something about the statement tripped a warning in me but I couldn't figure out what. "You didn't know any earlier…"

Jace opened his mouth as though to say something but I cut him off.

"I just want to sleep and I can't." I bit my lip, unbelievably shy again. "Can I sleep here? With you?"

He nodded. "Of course."

I sat in the middle of the bed and stared at him wide-eyed. No jokes, no comments. He also didn't make any move to join me.

"You're not sleeping in that, are you?"

He glanced down at his gear, looking mildly surprised to see himself still wearing it, and immediately began to pull it off. I knew I should look away, but I didn't. His every movement fascinated my tired mind. As he peeled his shirt off I couldn't help but notice how beautiful he looked with the swirling scars from faded Marks etched over his golden skin. Soon he had stripped down to just his boxers.

"You can't sleep standing up," I pointed out. Why wouldn't he just come by me?

He flashed me his grin and my heart stuttered. "I could probably manage it."

"Well, don't."

"Bossy." But he switched off the lights and then crawled into the bed beside me. I curled up next to him, carefully not touching.

"Jace?" My voice sounded loud in the darkness even though I was whispering.

"Yes, Jaci?"

"Will you hold me?" I tried to find his eyes in the darkness but it was hard. "Will you hold me like you'll never let go?"

His arms wrapped around me and pulled me close to him, my head on his chest. One of his hands stroked my hair lazily and I could hear his quick heartbeat.

"Always."


	12. I Wanna Be the One

**Oh wow, once again I'm incredibly slow at updating. I promise I'm seeing Endure through to the end because after Endure there is going to be another book that starts with an E and then after that one more. The (sob) last one. And only after that is it the end of adventures with Jaci and friends. So now that I've told you about the plans for me E books (ha, get it? E books 'cause they all start with "e" and because they're electronic?) please make sure I stick to it! I won't be updating very often probably since I'm the crazy who's taking 3 AP classes plus two other college level/credit courses plus everything else. SO WITHOUT FURTHER DELAY HERE'S THE FLUFF CHAPTER! I'm so jealous of Jaci...**

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><p>He didn't fall asleep immediately, even though he knew how late it was. Nothing could make him forget seeing Jaci's still form sprawled on the floor, looking broken beyond repair. Just thinking about it made his heart hammer with panic.<p>

But she hadn't been broken. Even though he'd been too late, it hadn't been too late. True, he didn't manage to stop Valentine or save the Silent Brothers but Jaci had still been saved.

Instantly Jace was appalled with himself. Did he really put more value on the life of one girl than those of all the dead Silent Brothers? If he was being honest with himself, yes.

Somehow she had managed to show up and mess up everything in his perfectly balanced life. He had been independent, relying on others as little as possible and now here he was, unable to sleep without her. Why was _she _worth so much? Why couldn't he free himself?

Especially knowing what he knew. His first reaction should have been to forget her, to leave her in the Silent City, not to rescue her. There was no denying that he had, though. And there was no denying where his loyalties lie.

She moved in her sleep, moving impossibly closer to him and he automatically held her tighter. Jace remembered clearly when he'd told her she was everything that mattered to him within his reach and that still hadn't changed. He knew Jaci; he hadn't seen her at her worst but he'd seen her shortly after. She had come close to dying – at her own hands – for Clary's sake. That was how much her adopted sister meant to her.

He thought of when he'd first met her, in the back room of Pandemonium. There had been Clary, wild eyed and frantic bleating on about murder, and behind her had stood Jaci. Those hazel eyes had seemed to pierce through him almost as if she knew his every secret, like she'd known him. He'd wanted to forget about the demon, walk up to the girl and shake her, demanding she tell him everything. He'd wanted to know why her gaze made him feel so vulnerable. He didn't like feeling vulnerable.

Jace had learned differently though; not exactly to like vulnerability but to accept it, at least where Jaci was concerned. Alec had been the one to point out why.

"_She's exactly like you," Alec had said once when they were alone in the weapons room. "Don't you think that's weird?"_

_Jace had scoffed. "No one is like me, I'm one of a kind."_

"_Don't be so sure of yourself…" _

For Jace, being with Jaci felt natural even when they fought.

He moved so that he could see her better and she stirred. Immediately he froze, wondering if he'd managed to wake her. He relaxed when she sighed deeply and nuzzled into his neck. Maybe in a past life she'd been a house cat. Jace fought back a laugh as he pictured Jaci-the-cat curling up in a patch of sunlight and sleeping; it didn't take much imagination.

Jace kissed her forehead before closing his eyes in a bold attempt to sleep.

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><p>I didn't get much sleep but I did my absolute best pretending. It gave me an excuse to snuggle closer to Jace and feel his warmth. I was still terrified of the shadows returning no matter what I tried to tell myself. The shadows which were the fae, creatures I had believed once upon a time to be just a piece of my overactive imagination. And now I knew better.<p>

The fae. Seelie Court. I was in City of Ashes.

I sat bolt upright, smacking the top of my head solidly against Jace's jaw in the process. For a second all I saw was white, despite the fact that it was dark. I could feel my pulse solidly on the middle of my skull.

"What the hell?" Jace's voice wasn't nearly as groggy as I expected since I'd figured he'd been sleeping. Moving quickly, he was on his feet with a seraph blade in his hand before I had a chance to speak.

"Nothing, I just – nothing."

There was a flare of witchlight, Jace swore, and the light dimmed down to a manageable amount. Holding my aching head in my hands, I cast a sideways (partially upside down) look at Jace who was looking outraged.

"You punched me in the face for nothing?"

"Head-butted," I corrected, pointing to my sore cranium.

At that his face broke into a reluctant smile. "You're supposed to fight the hideous demons, not the incredibly attractive demon hunter holding you sweetly in his arms."

I smiled at him weakly, still cradling my skull.

His face fell slightly. "This is the part where you make one of your snarky comments to insult me and shut me up." He waited expectantly. "Jaci, are you all right?"

I rolled off the bed and rammed myself into his chest, wrapping my arms around him and stealing his warmth. I heard the seraph blade and whitchlight drop to the floor. Before I knew it, Jace was holding me tightly, one hand stroking my hair as I cried silently on his chest. This seemed to be becoming a habit.

"I'm sick of being scared," I mumbled eventually, angrily wiping my tears. "It's so, so stupid!"

Jace took my chin in his hand and turned my face up towards him. With the witchlight from below, it was nearly impossible to see his eyes in the dark and they were that much more difficult to read. Was he disgusted with me for being afraid? He probably thought I was too weak to be a Shadowhunter. Maybe he'd side with the Inquisitor and send me away from the Institute. Well that was ridiculous, especially since I – maybe even we, I couldn't be certain – was magically bound to stay at Magnus's.

And then, softly, he kissed my tearstained cheek. Then my forehead, then each of my eyelids before pulling me to him again. He was silent for a few seconds and then- "Blech, I think I got an eyelash in my mouth."

"Wha-?" He cut me off with a kiss. His lips were gentle, reassuring.

I was sinking into his warmth, basking in the fact that he cared about me, when I suddenly shoved him away.

"What about you?" I asked.

Jace blinked at me, completely confused for a moment before recovering. "What about me?"

I settled down cross legged on the bed and held my hands out to him. Taking the hint he took a step closer.

"Do you want me to sit on you?" he asked, devilish smirk in place.

I shook my head. "No thanks. Well, unless you want to. Whatever floats your boat, I guess."

He scoffed. "A boat? I do not have a boat, I have a ship."

"Anyway," I wasn't going to allow him to get me off topic and arguing about ships and boats, "regardless of what your floatation device is, something causes it to float and whatever that is works."

With a smile, he sat next to me and draped one arm around my shoulders. "So what is it you want to talk about? Because there's obviously something, otherwise there's no reason for your rude interruption of our splendid kiss."

"You seem more like yourself than earlier," I commented. "How are you? And I don't mean that as an empty conversation starter. I'm sick of talking about myself."

"So you think we should talk about me?" The jokingly arrogant tone had left his voice.

"No. Actually, I want to talk about you."

He chuckled at that. "Aside from the obvious, why?"

He couldn't see me blush in the dark. "Because you matter to me."

"So you want to know how I am, right now?"

"Yes."

"I'm… I don't think I'm sure I know what I am. I'm confused, frustrated, tired, happy, relieved, worried, lucky, disappointed, hopeful, concerned… I guess I'm a lot of things."

There was silence. Even though I'd hoped Jace would actually tell me how he really felt and not some comment like "I'm as fine as I look" or something, I never actually thought he would.

"Why?" It was barely more than a whisper and it took me a moment to realize I said it.

"Why is the Inquisitor going after you? That doesn't make any sense, you've never had any contact with Valentine, _I _have. Well, she did go after me but not nearly as viciously. But I suppose that's your fault." He squeezed my shoulders. "Trying to distract her and getting yourself locked up. What am I going to do with you?"

"You'd've done the same for me," I pointed out. "She wasn't being fair."

"You're insane, Jaci. Now I'm frustrated because it seems whenever I leave you alone for more than two seconds something terrible happens to you or around you. So I've decided that since you can't seem to learn how to behave yourself I'm simply going to have to accompany you everywhere."

I laughed at that. "I think that's a bit unnecessary."

"Nope, completely necessary. I'm even going to have to keep watch while you shower." I could almost hear him wiggling his eyebrows.

"Icky, Jace. No!"

"Shhh, I won't look… too much."

I smacked his stomach. Bad life choice, I think I hurt my hand more than his abs.

"I thought you'd be happy about that… Odd. Now what was the next one?"

"You said you were tired," I pointed out. "But I think that one's pretty obvious."

I felt him bury his face in my hair. "I haven't really fallen asleep yet."

"Then you said you were… relieved?"

"I know I said happy before relieved."

"Oh, my bad. Sorry I didn't perfectly memorize the order in which you spoke. I'm a failure of a girlfriend."

"You're right, you should be writing down every word I say. They're all extremely important."

"Anyway, so happy."

"I'm not entirely sure. This isn't a happy situation we've landed ourselves in. Your mother is missing, Valentine is back, we don't have the Mortal Cup, the Silent Brothers are dead, the Mortal Sword is in Valentine's possession, your sister is an irritable twat-"

"Oi, be nice to Clary."

Jace sighed heavily. "You still defend her. I bet even if she purposely broke your arms and legs and left you for dead, you'd still take her side."

"Clary would never do that."

"Jaci."

I looked up at him. "She's my sister."

"She's more my sister than yours and you don't see me rushing to her aid."

"Only because she's not in danger right now," I pointed out. "If she was, you'd be there."

"So would you. Was relieved next?"

"You never finished happy."

"I don't even understand that one." He sounded irritable. My guess was he was probably getting tired about talking about his emotions. I was still amazed that he hadn't clamed up on me yet. "I'm relieved because you're out of that awful place.

"Mostly, I'm just waiting for whatever comes next, Jaci." He paused. "There are some… things I'm trying to figure out completely."

"With Valentine?"

He didn't answer right away. "Yeah, something like that."

The pause and his voice made me concerned. What else was going on with Jace? "I'm always here, you know that."

"Always?" His voice was lighter again. "Are you _always_ tucked carefully under my arm, Catori? Because I think I would've noticed and taken advantage of that throughout my life."

I giggled. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well," he moved away from me and stretched out on the bed, "sometimes I like to kiss things."

I full out laughed. "Is that so?"

"Sometimes. Not very often, surprisingly, but more frequently as of late. I suppose I could've always kissed Alec."

I frowned down at him. "Jace, that's not funny. You shouldn't mess with people like that."

"Is someone jealous?" I could _hear _that smirk.

"O-of course not," I spluttered. "I find you gross and in no way attractive."

"Can I tell you a secret?" he asked softly.

"Go for it."

I could make out the shape of his hand, beckoning me to come closer. "I find you attractive. And I want to kiss you."

"That's an odd thing to want," I said as calmly as I could.

"There's something else I'm feeling, too. But you have to lie down next to me before I tell you."

Needless to say, I aligned my body next to his, tossing a blanket over both of us. "What?"

He kissed the tip of my nose before kissing me on the mouth, gently taking my lower lip between his teeth and biting softly. "Jaci, I want you. In the most innocent way possible. I want to hold you in my arms while you sleep and wake you up in the morning. I want to be the one who keeps you safe through the night."

I suddenly experienced chills that had nothing to do with temperature. "Only if you'll let me keep you safe."

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><p><strong>And for those of you saying Jace and Jaci need some tension in their relationship, may I kindly remind you that the next chapter is the Seelie Court? And Clary gets bitten by an elf? And Jaci has those weird dreams about faeries? Not to mention her greatest fear...<strong>


	13. Into the Fire

**Holy snowflakes! I'm sorry this has taken so long! I've had writers' block, to be honest. The whole follow-the-book-closely thing has been holding me back a lot. Not to mention there was a flood and now my copy of City of Ashes more or less looks like it's an ancient artifact from Atlantis. Anyway, this is way overdue so here it is! Disclaimer: Because I'm sick of following the book so much, things are going to get insane. And soon. Also, if you like Rise of the Guardians, I know a fantastic little story you should read. It's called A Trick of the Light and it's updated a lot more frequently than Endure. Oh, I deserve public shaming. I feel awful.**

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><p>"All right, love birds!" Magnus's voice functioned better than any alarm clock I've ever owned. "Get out of your nest! And don't even think about telling me what happened last night because I do not want to hear it!"<p>

I cringed at that. Of course Magnus had to make some comment, he was Magnus.

"Have some respect!" Jace shouted towards the warlock's voice.

"You really showed him," I muttered, snuggling closer to his warmth. And that's when I realized my face was literally pressed against his completely bare chest. Oops. Feeling exquisitely awkward, I rolled away from him. "I'm going to get dressed. Don't follow me."

Jace's tempting half smile was nearly impossible to turn away from. I think I deserve a medal for managing it.

I padded out to the living room where my bag still was. Magnus was sprawled in an armchair dramatically, looking for all the world like a melodramatic actress.

"Bathroom's down the hall and to the left. And if you take a shower, don't even think about touching my body glitter." He opened one cat-like eye to stare at me. "It's expensive."

"Don't worry," I promised, grabbing clothes out of my bag. "Your body glitter is safe with me." And away I went, getting ready to start my day of sitting around Magnus's apartment and probably watching old reruns with Jace. Exciting day is exciting.

Of course, we could talk about what had happened the day before in the Silent City but I wanted desperately to not think about it. Focus on being alive first. And being clean. Yay hygiene. 

After a quick shower which left me smelling girlier than I ever had in my life, I went back to the living room to find both Jace and Magnus thrown dramatically in chairs. I had a terrible feeling that a movie could be made about my experience staying at Magnus's. It would be called _Jaci and the Overly Dramatic, Overgrown Children_- well, judging by this opening scene.

"Clary's coming," Magnus announced the instant I'd sat down.

"When did she call?" Jace asked. "I don't remember her calling."

"That's because she didn't. She's at the door right now."

I glanced over at the lazy warlock. "Are you going to let her in?"

"Alec will."

Not surprisingly, he was right. Within moments, the door opened and Magnus swept out of the room to great the guests.

Jace glanced over at me. "Ready to face this?"

"Are there any other options? No, no there aren't."

And much sooner than anticipated, Clary had appeared in the doorway, Simon in tow.

"Do you go anywhere without him?" Jace demanded.

"Hello, Jace," Clary said shortly. "Nice to see you too. I'm all right, how are you? That's good to hear."

Simon was glowering at Jace. Simon sure seemed moody recently. "That's what you're supposed to say, you know, to be polite."

"Si," I warned quietly. The last thing I wanted to deal with was a crazy fight between the two crazy boys in which my crazy sister would end up getting herself involved and crazy Jaci would be expected to solve everything. Not today!

"Okay, you're here," Magnus said, entering the room with Alec. "Now get them out."

"Can we just leave?" I asked innocently. "I was under the impression that I was forced to be here against my will."

"But not against your will to live," Magnus pointed out. "If you want, I can find another demon to attack you and then just not heal you, would you prefer that?"

I smiled at him as sweetly as I could with as miserably as I felt for unknown reasons. "No, thank you."

"All right," Jace said as he got to his feet. "You want a round table meeting, we can have a round table meeting."

Magnus looked like he was going to burst with sunshine. "I love round tables. They suit me so much better than square."

And, _poof!_, behold, round table with six matching chairs. Perfectly set up in the middle of the living room. The magical powers of magic. Mentally I told myself to shut up and stop being so nervously internally chatty.

"That's amazing," Clary said. I couldn't help but notice she should've said "This is amazing" since she was talking about the chair she sat in. "How can you create something out of nothing like that?"

Magnus smirked at her limited knowledge of magic. "You can't. Everything comes from somewhere. These come from an antiques reproduction store on Fifth Avenue, for instance. And these" – magic coffee! – "come from Dean & DeLuca on Broadway."

I took a seat and pulled one of the Styrofoam cups towards myself. "Do they taste better because they're stolen?"

"These are stolen?" Simon balked, nearly dropping the cup he'd selected at random.

"Ooo," I sipped my coffee. "I think mine's a cappuccino!"

"Hazelnut?" Jace asked.

That reminded me of the last time I'd had hazelnut cappuccino and the thought process that had gone before it and how it had involved Peeta. "Did you bring my cat?" I asked Clary.

Clary looked completely surprised. "Why would I bring your cat?"

"Because he's mine and I'm here."

Magnus put his foot down. "No cats. Except for Chairman Meow."

"Can we focus, please?" Alec asked, glowering at each of us and daring someone to challenge him. Except me. He avoided eye contact with me.

"Let's start at the beginning," Clary said wisely and turned her attention on me. "You said what happened in the Silent City was Valentine's fault?"

I shoved my beverage over towards Jace and allowed my head to drop into my hands. First question and I was already exhausted. "Did I? I don't really remember much of it." I managed to catch Clary's confused look. "It _was _Valentine's fault, I just couldn't remember if I'd said that last night."

"What happened?" Alec asked eagerly, leaning towards me from his location of across the table. "Did you see him?"

"One question at a time," Jace said in my defense.

"Thanks but I got this. Yes, I saw him. He followed his… his demon into the dungeon – after killing the Brothers. He sent the demon away and told me it was… Agramon." I felt useless. It was all I could come up with and they were all looking at me so expectantly. "I think I blacked out about then. But he did have the sword, I remember seeing it."

"Alec," Magnus wasn't looking at him, he was frowning at the carpet, thinking, "last night, when the Silent Brothers called for your help, where was the Conclave? Why was no one at the Institute."

"There was a Downworlder murder in Central Park last night. A faerie child was killed. The body was drained of blood."

Jace laughed humorlessly. "I bet the Inquisitor will think I did that, for a distraction."

"It's not something to joke about," Clary hissed.

During the ensuing small argument, Magnus moved to the window and stared out at the street below. "Blood. I had a dream two nights ago. I saw a city all of blood, with towers made of bone, and blood ran in the streets like water."

Simon glanced at me. "Sounds like someone's been watching too many horror movies."

Alec glared. "Magnus, what's wrong?"

The sparkling warlock tore his gaze from the window and back to us. "The blood. It can't be a coincidence. There have been several murders this week of Downworlders. A warlock, killed in an apartment tower down by the South Street Seaport. His neck and wrists were cut and the body drained of blood. And a werewolf was killed at the Hunter's Moon a few days ago. The throat was cut in that case as well."

"It sounds like vampires." Simon looked like he could faint.

"Don't vampires have fangs?" I pointed out. "Why would they bother cutting throats when they could just puncture them? No matter how the blood's been taken, if it's been taken everyone will automatically assume vampires. It sounds like they're being set up."

"It's a bad idea to try and frame the Night Children," Jace said and took a long drought of my hazelnutty comfort-in-a-cup.

A _thump _drew attention back to Magnus who had plopped a large, green book on the table. "I agree with the creepy twins." He pointed towards Jace and me. "I don't think it was vampires. There was a strong demonic presence at both locations. I think someone else was responsible for all three deaths. Not Raphael and his tribe, but Valentine."

"Why do you say that?" Jace's voice was extremely quiet.

"The Inquisitor thought the faerie murder was a diversion," Clary suggested almost breathlessly. Had she really always been so eager to jump to Jace's comfort and I'd just ignored it? "So that he could plunder the Silent City without worrying about the Conclave." Answer: Yes.

Jace scoffed. "There are easier ways to create a diversion and it is unwise to antagonize the Fair Folk. He wouldn't have murdered one of the clan of faerie if he didn't have a reason."

"Why do I feel like it can't possibly be a good reason?" I stole my hazelnut-happiness back. I needed it.

"He had a reason," Magnus assured us, flipping through his book. "And not a good one. There was something he wanted from the faerie child, just as there was something he wanted from the warlock and werewolf he killed."

Alec asked, "What's that?"

"_Alec, what were they all missing?"_ Look at me, I'm Little Miss Short-Tempered.

Magnus shot me a look that clearly meant to subdue my unnecessary sass. "Their blood." He indicated the page in the book he had flipped to. "You can't read it. It's written in a demon language. Purgatic."

"That's Maellertach, though," Alec pointed out.

I could recognize the angel on the hilt very distinctly. Even though the words on the page meant nothing to me, looking at them made my skin crawl and I almost drew closer to Jace but I knew I was being ridiculous. As long as no one did whatever those words said, I had nothing to be afraid of.

"The Ritual of Infernal Conversion. That's what Valentine's trying to do." Magnus paused for effect.

Clary ruined his moment. "The what of what?"

Magnus sighed, and dove into an explanation. "Every magical object has an alliance. The alliance of the Soul-Sword is seraphic – like those angel knives you Shadowhunters use, but a thousand times more so, because its power was drawn from the Angel himself, not simply the invocation of an angelic name. What Valentine wants to do is reverse its alliance – make it an object of demonic rather than angelic power."

"Lawful good to lawful evil!" Simon chimed in.

Clary and I both rolled our eyes on cue.

"As the Angel's Sword," Magnus continued, "Maellartach's use to Valentine would be limited. But as a sword whose demonic power is equal to the angelic power it once possessed – well, there is much it could offer him. Power over demons, for one. Not just the limited protection the Cup might offer, but power to call demons to him, to force them to do his bidding."

"A demon army?" asked Alec.

"This guy is big on armies," observed Simon.

Magnus ignored them both. "Power even to bring them into Idris, perhaps."

A terrible sense of foreboding seemed to creep into the room and hover like a cloud. I shuddered, to think of beautiful Idris, swarmed with demons. And I'd never seen Idris. Idris wasn't my home, it was the faraway Shadowhunter land I'd never touched, only heard about. It was Jace's home. It was Jocelyn's home, and Luke's. And my parents', whoever they might possibly be.

That thought was more powerful than the others. It was my unknown family's home. It had to be kept safe. If Idris could be lost, then couldn't anything?

"There's still one more child to go?" Clary's incredulous tone snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Two more," Magnus corrected. "He didn't succeed with the werewolf child. He was interrupted before he could get all the blood he needed. Whatever Valentine's ultimate goal is, he's already more than halfway to reversing the Sword. He's probably able to garner some power from it already. He could already be calling on demons-"

"But you'd think if he were doing that, there'd be reports of disturbances, excess demon activity," Jace interrupted, his golden eyes were feverishly bright. "But the Inquisitor said the opposite is true – that everything's been quiet."

"Well if he's raising an army, he has to recruit them first, doesn't he?" I asked.

It was the sort of doomed admission that no one wanted to acknowledge by speaking. It was logical. I wished I hadn't said it, that I could've kept pretending we still had more time. How can things move so quickly?

A phone rang. Clary jumped. Coffee was spilled.

"It's my mother," Alec announced and moved away from the table for more privacy.

Meanwhile, Simon and Clary seemed determined to put on a show that embarrassed everyone with their awkward displays of affection. The coffee spilled had ended up on Clary's wrist creating a burn that Simon tried to heal with a kiss.

"We could show them up," Jace whispered loudly enough so only I could hear. I didn't even bother replying.

Alec came back, looking confusedly at Simon and Clary. "What's going on?"

"You've saved us," Magnus observed as the awkward couple went to pretending nothing had happened.

Wait, when did Simon and Clary become a couple? I honestly couldn't remember hearing about it, it must've been a recent development. At least she seemed to be getting over Jace, at last.

"I told my mother about the Infernal Conversion," Alec announced.

"Let me guess, she didn't believe you," Jace drawled.

Alec shook his head. "Not exactly. She said she'd bring it up with the Conclave, but that she didn't have the Inquisitor's ear right now. I get the feeling the Inquisitor has pushed Mom out of the way a taken over. She sounded angry." His phone rang again – for some reason I'd half been expecting that. "Sorry. It's Isabelle. One sec."

Jace turned to Magnus. "I think you're right about the werewolf. Jaci was there when he was found."

I nodded slowly, trying to not let the entire memory come back. It was difficult. "There was a shadow or something there and it ran off."

"It sounds to me like Valentine's henchman was interrupted in the middle of doing whatever it is he does to get the blood he needs. He'll probably try again with a different lycanthrope child," Magnus said gravely.

"I ought to warn Luke." Clary was ready to jump into action, already half out of her chair.

"Wait." And Wonder Boy was back. Looking funny.

"What did Isabelle need?" I asked him.

He paused for an instant. "Isabelle says the Queen of the Seelie Court has requested an audience with us."

"She can't have one." The words were out before what Alec had said fully registered in my mind. When it had, I internally agreed with myself.

"Who's the Queen of the Seelie Court?" Clary asked.

"She is the Queen of Faerie," Magnus told her. "Well, the local one anyway."

There was suddenly pressure on my shoulder, pushing my back against my chair. Jace was holding me there, so I wouldn't fall. Why would he think he needed to do that? Also, why was the room spinning?

"Tell Isabelle no."

"But she thinks it's a good idea," Alec argued.

Jace fairly growled. "Then tell her no _twice_."

"Is it safe to go there?" Clary butted in.

I laughed weakly and brushed off Jace's hand. "Sure, it's as safe as jumping into a tank full of half-starved sharks while covered in blood."

Sarcasm: my natural defense mechanism.

Clary graced me with another of her wonderful glares. "I don't know anything about the Seelie Court. No one's keeping _me _informed, so don't act all high and mighty. As far as I know, faeries are little kid stuff. I dressed up as a faerie for Halloween when I was eight. I had a hat shaped like a buttercup."

"Doesn't matter," I cut in, feeling sick to my stomach.

"Jaci's right," Alec agreed with me. (Wow, that's incredible.) "Isabelle thinks – and I agree – that it's not a good idea to ignore the Fair Folk. If they want to talk, what harm can it do? Besides, if the Seelie Court were on our side, the Clave would _have _to listen to what we have to say."

"Please don't drag this discussion out," I begged. "Just make a decision but _stop talking about it_."

"Jaci, it doesn't concern you anyway," Clary pointed out. "You can't go anywhere."

"The Queen wants to see her."

I froze.

"No." Jace's tone was decisive.

"Jace, we won't be sending her alone," Alec pointed out.

"But you can't send her," Simon pointed out.

Alec shook his head. "We can't not send her. A request from the Seelie Court – it would be stupid to ignore it. Besides, Isabelle probably already told them we're coming."

"It's not even possible," Jace said.

"There is a way," Magnus corrected, thoughtfully.

I stared at Magnus, praying he was wrong.

"I specifically enchanted the contract with the Inquisitor so that I could let you go for a short time if I desired, as long as another of the Nephilim was willing to take your place."

"Where are we going to find another – Oh." Alec blushed. "You mean me."

"No!" Jace shouted, standing violently. "She's not going."

"Jace," I said quietly. "If… if the Queen asked to see _me _specifically then maybe… maybe I'll have more pull with her than anyone else. Maybe they'll take our side in this and we'll have their support." I took a deep breath before facing him. "It's our best chance."

He looked furious… and defeated. "I'm going with."

"Obviously, loverboy," Magnus sighed with a roll of his eyes.

"Isabelle can meet you in the park by Turtle Pond," Alec said. "She knows the secret entrance to the Court. She'll be waiting."

"And one last thing." Magnus rounded on me and then included Jace in his threatening glare. "Try not to get yourselves killed in the Seelie Court. If you die, I'll have a lot of explaining to do."

"I don't think it will matter," I pointed out weakly. Parks and faeries and ponds.

Oh my.


	14. The Nephilim and the Faerie

**Look! Over there! We see a live specimen of a very rare Long Chapter. Though rare, the Long Chapter is not a shy creature and is perfectly comfortable with human interaction. (Seriously, guys, this is exciting! I updated! And it goes all- [dramatically cut off by Jaci who doesn't want to ruin the surprise].)**

* * *

><p>We didn't leave immediately, like I'd thought we would. No, we had to wait until it was dark before going to the creepy park with the creepy faeries for the creepy summons. Of course it couldn't have been simple.<p>

I set up camp in a corner of the couch, keeping my knees tucked up underneath me. Simon and Clary had left and Alec and Magnus had disappeared into the recesses of the apartment to start tampering with the magical contract that bound me to Magnus. Jace had vanished in search of the kitchen. My guess was that he'd probably opened a wardrobe and found Narnia. We were in a warlock's apartment, after all.

"Okay," Jace's voice was forcedly cheery as he reappeared in the living room with an armful of food. "I found outdated eggs, some moldy leftovers, a jar of mayo, and some bread and butter which were miraculously intact."

I smiled weakly at his proffered spoils. "Does Magnus know you raided his fridge?"

"I seriously doubt Magnus knows he has a fridge." Jace scrunched up his nose. "It smelled awful."

"I'm not hungry. But thanks." I turned to stare at the window – the same one in fact that Magnus had stared out as he muttered about blood. The thought made my stomach churn even worse.

I felt the couch shift as Jace settled down beside me but I didn't turn to look at him. He placed one of his hands on my arm gently.

"You don't have to go," he said quietly. "You can still change your mind."

"I know," I said softly. I didn't know if he heard me or not, I wasn't entirely sure I'd made a sound.

"I'll be there, Jaci," he continued. He spoke as though he were at a sickbed – _my _sickbed. "I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe. And Isabelle will be there, too."

I nodded.

I heard him give a humorless chuckle. "You're going to go no matter what I say, aren't you? And if I tell you not to go, then you'll definitely go."

"Would you expect anything else?"

I turned towards him then and took his hand in both of mine, holding it alongside my face. His palm was rough and callused from fighting. Jace didn't have a gentle life and neither did I.

"I keep feeling that _something_ isn't going to go the way we expect," I admitted. "I can't shake it. Why would they want me?"

I knew Jace wouldn't lie to me. He wouldn't tell me something to comfort me if he didn't believe it himself. Instead, he simply remained silent and pulled me closer to him, stroking my hair gently until it was time to go.

* * *

><p>It was the same pond.<p>

Of _course _it was the same pond, why would the Fae try to drown me in any pond but this particular one?

Isabelle was waiting in the nearby gazebo for us and came running the instant she noticed our little ragtag group. Jace and I led with Simon and Clary trailing behind – probably acting awkward and couple-ish. I didn't care, I was trying not to be jumpy.

"Jace! Jaci!" Isabelle cried. She seemed thrilled and threw her arms around both of us in one, suffocating hug.

I almost managed a laugh but it couldn't get past the dry lump in my throat.

Jace was able to act naturally. Jace didn't ever panic. "Izzy."

Isabelle released us and immediately placed a hand under my chin, turning my face so that she could examine it better. "You look healthy." And then. "Are you taller?"

"Magnus used Miracle Grow," I choked out sarcastically.

"Magnus!" she cried as though just remembering. "How did you get him to let you leave?"

"Traded her for Alec," Clary stated simply, inserting herself into the conversation. _Why _was she there, again?

"Not _permanently_?" Izzy looked reasonably worried about her brother's safety. We had left him with a glittering warlock, after all.

"No," Jace said. "Just for a few hours. Unless Jaci doesn't go back… In which case, maybe he does get to keep Alec. Think of it as a lease with an option to buy."

I tried my best to scoff. "That'd go over well."

"Well, you did free a possible criminal – no offense," Simon added quickly once he caught my eye, "and traded your brother," he nodded towards Izzy, "to a warlock who looks like a gay Sonic the Hedgehog and dresses like the Child Catcher from _Chitty Chitty Bang Bang._"

"Thank you for summing that up," I muttered.

Jace, meanwhile, was considering Simon. "Is there some particular reason that you're here? I'm not so sure we should be bringing you to the Seelie Court. They hate mundanes."

"Great time to mention that," Clary growled.

Simon just rolled his eyes. "Not this again."

Dear Clary was confused. "Not what again?"

"Every time I annoy him, he retreats into his No Mundanes Allowed tree house-"

"Maybe you just shouldn't annoy him," I snapped. I was quickly transitioning from terrified to defensively crabby.

Simon glared at me but otherwise ignored my comment and turned to address Jace. "Let me remind you, the last time you wanted to leave me behind I saved all your lives."

Jace rolled his eyes. "Sure. One Time."

"The faerie courts are dangerous." Isabelle to the rescue. "Even your skill with the bow won't help you. It's not that kind of danger."

_That _kind of danger I could handle. Creepy, underground faerie danger was a bit more… terrifying.

"I can take care of myself." Simon's stubbornness reminded me of my own. It was just be so much more intelligent to stay put and never move an inch closer to that damned pond.

Pond. What a funny word for something that can be so deadly.

"You don't have to come," Clary said to him quietly.

And that, of course, solidified his determination. "Yeah, I do."

Jace sighed angrily and held his arm out to me in a very gentlemanlike way. "Then I suppose we're ready. Don't expect any special consideration, mundane."

I didn't bother trying to tell him off.

"Look on the bright side," Simon pointed out. "If they need a human sacrifice, you can always offer me. I'm not sure the rest of you qualify anyway."

His words made me sick to my stomach, but I tried not to show it.

Jace, who also adopted dark humor in threatening situations, said, "It's always nice when someone volunteers to be the first up against the wall."

"Come on," Izzy snapped as she moved toward the edge of the pond. "The door is about to open."

Seeing where Izzy was headed, I gladly took Jace's arm. It wasn't a time to appear brave. I just needed to do whatever it took to get through this and into the Seelie Court and if that meant Jace had to bind and gag me, then so be it. I was going.

Even if it went entirely against my every instinct and my whole being screamed to run away as far and fast as possible.

I heard Clary's voice but couldn't tell what she said: Isabelle had started wading into the water and Jace and I were following her.

"Oh Angel," I muttered and clutched helplessly at Jace's arm. The freezing water was clawing its way up my legs, wanting to drag me under. Before I was even up to my knees I was shaking and breathing in short, panicked breaths.

"It's all right, Jaci," Jace said in a low, soothing tone. He kept up a rapid stream of reassurance and advice, including the helpful tidbit about not eating anything while in the Seelie Court. The others were talking, too, but their voices didn't register. Even Jace's sounded distant, as though I were already under the water and he was trying to communicate something important to me.

The water was up to my ribs. Jace's arm was around my shoulders now and Isabelle stood in front of us only inches away from the reflection of the moon.

The small, still functional part of my mind noted that that didn't make any sense, whatsoever.

"Jaci, close your eyes."

I did as Jace said and then I was falling. Falling into the water, into their clutches. I could feel the shadows dancing.

* * *

><p>Too late.<p>

My eyes flew open as my feet hit solid ground.

I was underground. In the realm of the faeries.

_No._

The dream. It all came rushing back.

_The faeries left her forever with a vow to leave her be, unless she ever came to them willingly._

_With a vow to leave her be, unless she ever came to them willingly._

_Unless she ever came to them willingly._

_Willingly._

Jace landed beside me, stumbling minimally. I turned to him, terrified but unable to speak. I was caught. It had been a trap and I'd been stupid enough to just wander right into it.

"Cold?" he asked, apparently noticing that I was shivering.

I barely managed to nod. It hadn't even been a clever trap.

In quick succession, Isabelle, Clary, and Simon all appeared.

How could I have been so stupid to let them come here, too? Somehow the added terror made my mind clearer and removed the paralyzing weight that had been surrounding me. This was just another misstep, like with the vampires. I could spin this in my favor. We would all get out. I was resourceful, damn it.

"Oooh, that was fun," Isabelle commented.

I glared at her.

"That does it," Jace announced. "I'm going to get you a dictionary for Christmas this year."

Isabelle blinked water out of her eyes. "Why?"

"So you can look up 'fun.' I'm not sure you know what it means."

She stuck her tongue out at him. "You're raining on my parade."

"You just dragged your parade through a pond," I pointed out dryly. "A little rainwater can't really do anything to it."

"So, which way do we go?" Simon asked.

We all looked miserable with our drenched clothes and chattering teeth.

"Neither way. We wait here, and they come and get us," Isabelle said loftily.

"They?" I echoed softly. The air seemed to thrum with magic.

Clary crossed her arms and glared moodily at Isabelle. "How do they know we're here? Is there a doorbell we have to ring or something?"

I started humming "Ding-Dong the Witch is Dead."

"The Court knows all that happens in their lands. Our presence won't go unnoticed." Isabelle busied herself with wringing water out of her hair and clothing.

"Does anyone else find that just a little creepy?" I demanded with a shudder.

"Sh!" Isabelle urged.

"And how do you know so much about faeries and the Seelie Court, anyway?" Simon demanded of Isabelle, who blushed. Fortunately, the poor girl was spared the trouble of having to answer by the appearance of a faerie.

Oh Angel.

Odd that everything turned to a high pitched ringing sound.

I started to get tunnel vision as we started moving away from the entrance and into the bowels of the Seelie Court. Weird, having tunnel vision in a tunnel.

Eventually the creepy, darkish, earthy, faery tunnel broadened out and gave way to a dazzling – well, I assume it was meant to be dazzling – open chamber styled in a mockery of a summer pavilion.

There was music which pierced the ringing and made me cringe. It was so blastedly _familiar_.

And the dancers. They were much too familiar. Even if they weren't the same faeries I'd once met as a little girl, they looked the same. They had the same ethereal beauty interlaced with a dark sort of devastation. Some were half vegetation, some looked to be half devoured. Their ruined state only added more to the unnatural beauty of their faces. A girl with glistening pink and blue wings smiled at me. Her teeth were sharper than Taki's.

I clutched Jace's arm tightly and followed mutely through the room, doing everything I could to keep the dancing faeries in my line of vision. Would they recognize me and grab me? Would they force me back into their dance?

I refused to answer the questions.

Meliorn's voice cut across my internal monologue. Rude. "These are the Queen's champers. She's come from her Court in the north to see about the child's death. If there's to be war, she wants to be the one declaring it."

We were standing in a small group huddled before a curtain made of vines. Well, at least the creepy faeries were very green. Stay on the sunny side… there is no sunny side in a tunnel. I let go of Jace's arm, ignoring that he immediately flexed his hand as if to test the muscles were still working. I hadn't been holding on _that _tight. I was determined to seem confident and composed. They might have tricked me, but they hadn't beaten me.

Meliorn pulled the curtain aside and I was the first one through.

This room was smaller than where the faerie's had been dancing. It was very simple, an earthen hollow light with Will-o'-the-wisps trapped in glass jars. The Queen was seated on a couch, not a throne, and her courtiers were assembled around her from all walks of fae life. I tried not to make eye contact with any of them but they were everywhere. And they were all staring at me.

"My Queen." Meliorn bowed. "I have brought the Nephilim to you."

Thank you, Captain Obvious.

I take it back about the staring thing. The Queen was looking at all of us, not just me. "Four of these are Nephilim. The other is a mundane."

Jace moved to the front of our formation. I could feel the charm oozing off him. "Our apologies, my lady. The mundane is our responsibility. We owe him protection. Therefore we keep him with us."

"A blood debt? To a mundane?" She sounded terribly interested.

I stepped on Simon's foot. "Don't say a word," I hissed.

"He saved my life," Jace continued smoothly. "Please, my lady. We had hoped you would understand. We had heard you were as kind as you were beautiful, and in that case – well, your kindness must be extreme indeed."

I shot an amused glance at Jace. His ridiculous airs were giving me courage. If he ever tried any of that crap on me –

"You are as charming as your father, Jonathan Morgenstern." Apparently the Queen ate up Jace's flattery. "Come, sit beside me. Eat something. Drink. Rest yourselves. Talk is better with wet lips."

Warning lights.

"It would be unwise to refuse the bounty of the Queen of the Seelie Court," Meliorn whispered.

And it'd be unwise to accept it, but I kept my mouth firmly shut. For once.

Isabelle glanced at me as though she could read my thoughts. "It won't hurt us just to sit down."

Okay, so the shiny cushions they had for us to sit on were fabulously comfortable. And the customer service was fantastic. The instant we were all settled on our pillows, a pixie appeared with a tray bearing five cups of a faerie beverage complete with delicate rose petals floating in each cup.

I glanced at Jace and Isabelle and saw them each accept a drink though neither did anything other than hold it so I followed their lead. Simon took one and set it on the floor beside him.

"Don't you want any?" urged the pixie.

"The last faerie drink I had didn't agree with me." Never was a truer word spoken.

On the other side of me, Clary was lifting her cup to her lips.

"Don't," I hissed, nudging her with my foot.

She blinked at me, confused. "But it smells yummy. See," she fished out the petal and crushed it between her thumb and finger. "Delicious."

I glared at her. "Set. It. Down."

Seeming to come to her senses, Clary delicately set the cup aside.

Of course the Queen had watched it all but she said nothing. "Now, Meliorn tells me you claim to know who killed our child in the park last night. Though I tell you now, it seems no mystery to me. A faerie child, drained of blood? Is it that you bring me the name of a single vampire? But all vampires are at fault here, for the breaking of the Law, and should be punished accordingly. Despite what may seem, we are not such a particular people."

"Oh come on. It isn't vampires," Isabelle said, stealing the words right from my mouth.

"What Isabelle means," Jace shot a warning glance at both of us, "is that we're almost certain the murderer is someone else. We think he may be trying to throw suspicion on the vampires to shield himself."

"Have you proof of that?" Her tone was filled with authority. Even in a crowd of thousands, I bet I could pick her as a queen.

"Last night the Silent Brothers were slaughtered as well, and none of them were drained of blood," Jace said.

I shuddered. It was really only last night. So much happened so quickly.

"And this has to do with our child, how? Dead Nephilim are a tragedy to Nephilim, but nothing to me."

For some unknown reason, Clary gasped.

I ignored her. "Of course, my lady," I said, copying Jace's format. "Nor would we expect you to concern yourself over something so trivial."

"But the Soul-Sword was stolen as well." I present to you, the Jace and Jaci tag team. Teaming up to talk to magical beings since… we first talked to Magnus Bane. "You know of Maellertach?"

The mention of the Soul-Sword seemed to amuse the Queen. "The sword that makes Shadowhunters tell the truth. We fae have no need of such an object."

I decided to let Jace handle the rebuttal on his own.

"It was taken by Valentine Morgenstern. He killed the Silent Brothers to get it, and we think he killed the faerie as well. He needed the blood of a faerie child to effect a transformation on the Sword. To make it a tool he could use."

"He needs more blood, first, though," I added. So much for sitting this one out.

"More blood of the Folk?"

"No. More Downworlder blood-" Jace began.

The Queen's eyes flashed. "That seems hardly our concern."

I felt my heart sinking. They wouldn't help us.

"He killed one of _yours_," Isabelle reminded her. "Don't you want revenge?"

The Queen cast a sweeping glance over all of us, taking her time in answering. "Not immediately. We are a patient folk, for we have all the time in the world. Valentine Morgenstern is an old enemy of ours – but we have enemies older still. We are content to wait and watch. For now, our wrath has subsided."

"He's summoning demons-"

I held up a hand to stop Jace. "Your wrath has subsided?" I asked. "What does that mean?"

The Queen locked her eyes on mine. "For now, Valentine has at length repaid a portion of the debt we were owed."

"We're not here to give you orders on behalf of the Clave," Jace said in order to bring the conversation back to where he needed it. "We came when you asked us because we thought that if you knew the truth, you'd help us."

"Is that what you thought?" Her voice was much to calm. She seemed to be sparking with withheld anger. "Remember, Shadowhunter, there are those of us who chafe under the rule of the Clave. Perhaps we are tired of fighting your wars for you."

"With us," I corrected. "We had hoped you would fight _with _us."

Jace jumped onto my line of thought. "Valentine hates Downworlders more than he hates demons. If he defeats us, he'll go after you next. And when he does, remember that it was a Shadowhunter who warned you what was coming."

His words echoed in the silence of the room. And then, very slightly, the Queen smiled and turned her gaze away from us, taking a sip from a chalice before speaking once more. "Warning me about your own parent. I had thought you mortals capable of filial affection, at least, and yet you seem to feel no loyalty toward Valentine your father." Her smile was poisoned sugar. "Or perhaps this hostility of yours is the pretense. Love does make liars of your kind."

"But we don't love our father," Clary argued. "We hate him."

"Do you?"

"You know how the bonds of family are, my lady," Jace said. "They cling as tightly as vines. And sometimes, like vines, they cling tightly enough to kill."

The picture brought to mind wasn't pleasant, especially considering the number of vines I could see from where I sat.

"You would betray your own father for the sake of the Clave?" the Queen inquired.

Jace nodded slowly. "Even so, Lady."

She looked entirely delighted. "Who would have that that Valentine's little experiments would turn on him?"

I glanced at both Clary and Jace who looked blankly back at me. This… this might explain a lot.

"_Experiments_?" Isabelle demanded.

The Queen let her gaze rest lightly on Clary, myself, and then Jace. "The Fair Folk are a people of secrets. Our own and others'. Ask your father, when next you see him, what blood runs in your veins, Jonathan."

Jace recovered well from the oddness of the speech. He ducked his head respectfully. "I hadn't planned on asking him anything next time I see him. But if you desire it, my lady, it will be done."

"I think you are a liar," the Queen said. "But what a charming one. Charming enough that I will swear you this: Ask your father that question, and I will promise you what aid is in my power, should you strike against Valentine."

I sighed with relief. I could feel this terrible meeting winding down to an end and nothing had happened to me. Paranoia for nothing.

Jace smiled bewitchingly. It wasn't his smile, it was a snake charmer's smile. "Your generosity is as remarkable as your loveliness, Lady. And I think we're done here now." He stood and the rest of us followed. Including the Queen.

"A moment," she said. "One of yours and one of ours must remain."

A chill of dread ran down my spine and my hand automatically found Jace's.

"What do you mean?" he asked cautiously.

Slowly, ever so slowly, the Queen raised her hand – it passed over me – and pointed to Clary. "Once our food or drink passes mortal lips, the mortal is ours. You know that, Shadowhunter."

Clary turned to me, panic in her eyes. "But I didn't drink any of it! She's lying."

"Faeries can't lie," I said quietly, staring just as horrorstruck at Clary.

"Look to her fingers and tell me she didn't lick them clean."

I let go of Jace and snatched up Clary's hand. There was a small mark on one of her fingers, but nothing else.

"Of blood," Clary protested. "One of the sprites bit my finger – it was bleeding-" Her breath hitched and she stared at me. "It's true. There was some of it on my finger…"

I whirled on the Queen. "Why? It was a trick, you planned it all along. WHY?"

There was nothing friendly about her smile. "Perhaps I am only curious. It is not often I have young Shadowhunters so close within my purview. Like us, you trace your ancestry to heaven; that intrigues me."

"So ask polite questions," I suggested through bared teeth.

"If you want to study a Shadowhunter," Clary cut in, "I won't be much use to you. I don't know anything about Shadowhunting. I hardly have any training. I'm the wrong person to pick."

She sure as hell was the wrong person to pick. She was my baby sister.

"In truth," could she say anything but in truth if she couldn't lie? "Clarissa Morgenstern, you are precisely the right person. Thanks to the changes your father worked in you, you are not like other Shadowhunters. Your gifts are different."

And now everyone's all sorts of confused.

"My gifts?" Clary echoed.

"Yours is the gift of words that cannot be spoken," the Queen said in her soft voice. "And your brother's is the Angel's own gift. And yours," she looked directly at me, "is the gift of two conflicting realms. Your father made sure of it, before any of you were ever born."

"Valentine _isn't _my father," I felt the need to point out.

"My father never gave me anything," Clary proclaimed. "He didn't even give me a name."

Jace seemed to be as confused as the rest of us. "While the Fair Folk do not lie, they can be lied to. I think you have been the victim of a trick or joke, my lady. There is nothing special about myself, my sister, or Jaci."

The Queen's laugh was as warm as ice. "How deftly you downplay your charms. Though you must know you are not the usual sort of human boy, Jonathan… Could it be that you do not know?"

"I think it's very possible that we do not know," I pointed out, seizing Clary's wrist protectively. "But I am not leaving Clary here. We have nothing to teach you, perhaps you could release her? Or I'm afraid you'll be left with some squatters."

The Queen turned her head to the side and smiled. "What if I told you she oculd be freed by a kiss?"

Clary was confused. "You want Jaci to kiss you?"

The entire Court broke into peals of mirth.

"Despite her charms, that kiss will not free the girl."

I was extremely relieved. I was not kissing a faerie, thank the Angel.

"I could kiss Meliorn," Isabelle suggested.

"Nor that. Nor any one of my Court."

Isabelle threw her hands up and took a step away from us. "I'm not kissing _any _of you. Just so it's official."

"That hardly seems necessary," Simon spoke up for the first time in a long while. "If a kiss is all…" He stared to move towards Clary and I couldn't help but notice that she tensed up.

"No," the Queen cut in. "That is not what I want either."

"Oh, for the Angel's sake," Isabelle cried, rolling her eyes. "I take it back. I'll kiss Simon. I've done it before, it wasn't that bad."

"Thanks," Simon said dryly. "That's very flattering."

"Alas, I'm afraid that won't do either." The Queen had her eyes on Clary and a cruel smile played on her lips.

"Well, I'm not kissing the mundane. I'd rather stay down here and rot," Jace declared.

Simon blinked at him. "Forever? Forever's an awfully long time."

Up went one of Jace's eyebrows. "I knew it. You want to kiss me, don't you?"

"Not everyone finds you attractive," I muttered, not comfortable with the idea of anyone kissing Jace.

He smirked at me. "It's true what they say, then. There are no straight men in trenches."

Simon fumed. "That's _atheists, _jackass. There are no _atheists_ in trenches."

The Queen's cold voice interrupted our deliberating. "While this is all very amusing, the kiss that will free the girl is the kiss that she most desires. Only that and nothing more."

The kiss she most desires. I stared at the Queen. But that would mean…

"Please no," Clary moaned.

Simon's look he threw at Clary was a mixture of betrayal and disgust. "That's ridiculous. He's her brother."

Clary's terrified eyes met mine. I didn't know what to say, what to think. Jace stood like a statue beside me.

"Desire is not always lessened by disgust," the Queen said simply. "Nor can it be bestowed like a favor to those who are most deserving of it. And as my words bind my magic, so you can know the truth. If she doesn't desire his kiss, she won't be free."

Simon whirled furiously on Clary. "You don't have to do this, Clary, it's a trick-"

"It's a test," Jace's low voice corrected. I could hear his anger.

Isabelle sighed. "Well I don't know about you, Simon, but I'd like to get Clary out of here."

"Like you'd kiss Alec," he snapped at her, "just because the Queen of the Seelie Court asked you to."

"Sure I would," she snapped back.

"Shut up," I hissed. I refused to look at Clary. "Just… get it over with. Please."

Jace didn't move.

"It's just a kiss, Jace," I said quietly. "A kiss for her freedom."

He grabbed my hand and squeezed it briefly before turning to Clary. Her lips were slightly parted and she looked breathless. I tried to look away but I was sickly fascinated. Would Jace…?

Touching her the least amount possible, Jace bent down to press his lips to hers.

Clary's reaction was immediate. Her arms were around Jace's neck as she tried to deepen the kiss. I glared at the Queen who had a smile on her lips. Carefully, Jace grabbed Clary's wrists and detached her from himself and ending the kiss.

I refused to look at her. Guilt and betrayal were battling inside me. My own sister. How could she? _But_, said a small voice, _she's meant to love Jace, not you._

I told the voice to piss off.

"Was that good enough?" Jace's voice was hard as stone. "Did that entertain you?"

The Queen was beaming "We are quite entertained."

Jace growled, "I can only assume that mortal emotions amuse you because you have none of your own."

And the mood was utterly destroyed, not just deteriorated.

"Easy Jace," Isabelle murmured.

"Come on," I said in a sharp tone, turning on my heel to lead the group to the door. But I couldn't make it as far as the door. An unseen force blocked my path.

Jace, Isabelle, Clary, and Simon had all moved past me.

"Jaci?" Jace asked, concerned.

I couldn't speak, could barely breathe. Of course.

"Is something wrong?" the Queen asked in a deadly soft voice.

Heart stuttering, I turned to stare at her. "I can't leave." It wasn't a question.

Her smile was back. "You can't."


	15. Come Back For Me

"What?" Jace's voice was low and threatening.

Despite the fact that my greatest fear was literally coming true, I felt eerily calm. It would seem that part of me had been expecting this for a while. When dealing with the Fey, everything was only a question of time. The Seelie Court was a vast network that reached everyone, there was really no avoiding their wishes. That's what made them all so terrifying.

But knowing the worst is coming, somehow that made me know that I could handle it. Probably since it couldn't get any worse.

"Jace," I said softly, still keeping my eyes glued on the Queen, "do you remember that story I told you?"

"Jaci, what are you talking about?"

"The day of Magnus' party," I insisted. It was important that he understood.

In my peripheral I could just see him start to understand. "I'd forgotten," he admitted slowly.

I nodded fractionally. "So did I. Sort of. I think."

"So you really can't." He said it with finality. I was actively avoiding looking at the others. They wouldn't understand.

"Why does Jaci have to stay?" Isabelle demanded.

The Queen grinned broadly. "She must pay off part of Valentine's debt."

I heard someone shuffle awkwardly. "But Jaci has nothing to do with Valentine!" It was Clary.

"Just as you have nothing to do with him?" the Queen asked quietly.

"Just go," I said, cutting off any reply anyone would have. "I'll catch up with you when I can."

Isabelle marched forward. "Jaci is a Shadowhunter. She belongs to us, it's in her blood."

The Queen's mouth twisted into a cruel smile. "When your claim is greater than blood, then you may take her."

"Greater than blood?" Clary echoed.

I spun around to face her and grabbed both of her hands in mine. "Listen to me, okay? You have to go now. You have to explain to the Inquisitor what happened, that I'm just as secure here as if I were at Magnus's apartment. Convince her to end the contract so that Alec can leave, got that? You need to go and _don't worry about me_. I'll come and find you as soon as I can."

Tears were welling up in Clary's eyes. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.

I knew exactly what she was apologizing for and pulled her in for a tight hug. "Just don't be stupid, all right?"

She nodded wordlessly and stepped away, letting go, I realized.

And then Isabelle had grabbed my shoulders and whirled me around to face her. "I'm getting you out," she said stiffly. "And soon. Her words bind her magic so I'll find a claim for you greater than blood and then you can come home. And I'll visit, I'll keep you updated. You'll be home before you know it."

I nodded. "Kill some demons for me."

She nodded briskly in response and then stepped back. Simon awkwardly stepped into her place.

"Don't do anything stupid," I cautioned, seeing the dejection and anger in his eyes from the kiss still. He looked as though he couldn't hear me.

Knowing it would be extraordinarily difficult, I finally turned to Jace.

"I'm not leaving you here," he stated with his eyes narrowed threateningly. "I told you."

He really wasn't going to make this easy. "I hereby absolve you of your promise," I said in a pointless attempt to sound somewhat cheerful.

But Jace just shook his head. "I swear, by the An-"

I slapped my hand over his mouth so that he wouldn't finish. "Jace," I hissed into his ear, going on tiptoe so that – hopefully – the Queen wouldn't overhear. "You said you would do whatever it takes to keep me safe. For right now, that means you have to leave." I blinked furiously. "I don't want them to hurt you. And I need you to watch out for Clary."

He stepped away from me and turned sharply. I could tell he was furious, but at least he wasn't going to stay. Jace nodded towards the others to walk out in front of him and he followed. And just as I thought he was going to leave, he spun on his heel and advanced toward the Queen.

"Promise me that she will not be harmed in any way," he demanded.

The Faerie Queen smiled thoughtfully. "Such attachment. She will not be harmed, Shadowhunter. You may come and see for yourself whenever you wish to. Does this satisfy you?"

Jace nodded sharply. "Thank you, my lady." Without another word, he turned to leave.

"Jace!" I cried before I could stop myself. I crossed the room quickly and threw my arms around him, burying my face in his chest and breathing in the smell of him. He held me just as tightly and desperately as I held him. I felt him kiss the top of my head.

We stood there clinging to each other, not knowing how long it would be before we saw each other again.

"Come back for me," I whispered.

He stepped back but kept his arms around me. Still wrapped in his embrace, I looked up at him, his golden eyes were feverishly bright. "I always will." His voice was rough and it shook slightly. My heart stuttered as I raised a hand to touch his cheek. I'd only ever thought I would care about my mother, my sister, Luke, and Simon and for the longest time that had been true. Now I had Isabelle and Alec and even Max to add to that list. And Jace. Though he was in a category that was all his own.

Funny how being faced with separation makes you realize how much someone means to you.

He kissed me gently and the rested his forehead against mine. I wanted to say something but no words would come out. Instead, I kissed his cheek and stepped out of his embrace.

And he left.

And I stayed.

* * *

><p><strong>I'm so sorry this took forever and it's not even very long! I'll try to do better, I promise!<strong>

**OH! Can I ask a big favor? Will you leave a review and tell me what you think of the ending of this chapter? Please?**


	16. Light and Dark

I was led down an earthen corridor to a small, furnished chamber.

"Your room," said the faerie who had guided me.

I didn't bother saying thank you and she didn't wait around to hear it. There was no door to my new room, only a curtain which I immediately drew closed. Sitting in the relative privacy it created, I allowed my mind to go numb.

Yes, I had questions. No, I did not want to consider them. Instead, I let myself pretend that none of it was real. This was all just some bizarre dream and I would wake up safely tucked away in Magnus's apartment. That was all.

The curtain was opened to reveal a faerie knight I didn't know. "The Queen would like to see you."

Great.

* * *

><p>"Valentine once asked something of us," she began her soliloquy. "It was a grand request, though the repayment we were promised more than covered the favor granted. He wanted something as simple and precious as our identity: he wanted our blood.<p>

"He said that he was trying to create a new line of Shadowhunters and that if we would assist him then we would have a claim over the Clave. We agreed to give him what he needed for his experiment in exchange for control of these new Shadowhunters created from our bloodlines.

"The price would not have been as high for the blood of a lesser court member but the blood given was my own. The Shadowhunter created would be treated among Fey as my own, since they would possess my blood.

"Valentine's experiment was successful, but he never repaid his debt. He did not bring us the child as promised so in retribution, we sought the child out for ourselves. But you would not come to us and you were not old enough to be of use to us. So we waited.

"Over the years of waiting, we researched. You humans know so little of magic and yet you still insist on dabbling in it. You fear magic and never know its entire power. You know of Dark magic, yes. You persecute those who practice it. But you know nothing of Light magic, the magic that fuels your weapons and ultimately gave birth to your kind, you Shadowhunters." The Queen paused to consider me. I shifted uncomfortably, was she blaming me for something? For the ignorance of all Shadowhunters?

"There are three types of magic: Dark, Neutral, and Light. Demons use Dark magic – they were created by it. Demonic forces and Dark magic are one and the same, they cannot exist separately. Warlocks and we, the Fey, use Neutral magic. Neutral magic is the force that exists independently from any being. It does not feed the demons, nor the angels. It is a power that is difficult to control. Then there is Light magic. Angels are composed of Light magic and Light magic is the force of angels. You Shadowhunters base your superiority on your ability to utilize Light magic – and yet you know nothing of it." She scoffed in disdain.

"Why," I asked, "are you telling me all of this?"

"Because Light magic is the most powerful of all," the Queen said simply. "Whoever controls Light magic is unbeatable. Valentine did not know this when he created you – his experiment."

What was it Jace had said, the Fey could be lied to? "You must be misinformed," I said flatly. "I'm not powerful or unbeatable or Fey in any way."

Her eyes flashed. "We cannot be fooled when it comes to one of our own. My blood runs in your veins. It calls to all Fey. It sets you apart."

I shook my head to try and clear it of these crazy thoughts. I glanced around the chamber where we sat. It was similar to the one where we had all first met the Queen but smaller. The Queen was lounging on a stack of pillows while I sat with my legs folded under me across from her. Somehow, in this setting she was both more and less intimidating. If what she said was true, then she was in some form my… mother? "But there are Shadowhunters who are part Fey. Why not claim them?"

"The Nephilim blood is dominant in genetics," she said dismissively. "Fey blood is neutralized in conception."

"Oh, of course. Obviously."

She smiled, displaying all of her sharp teeth. "I did not birth you, but you are mine. You are my claim over the Clave. You are my revenge on Valentine. You are my repayment for the death of a child of the Fey. You are my conductor of Light."

She was crazy. She had lost her mind. I was in a room with a crazy faerie. Yay.

"As a Shadowhunter, Light will not harm you. Your angelic decent protects you. Your Fey blood, not neutralized, allows you to control forces. Jaelyn Catori, you are the only soul who walks this planet who can use Light magic."

She had to be wrong. "If I can use this super powerful Light magic, why haven't I?"

"You have no training. Caelia will train you. You will become powerful. You will be my ambassador to the Clave."

"If I'm 'yours,'" I said slowly, "why don't you train me?"

"I will," she answered, considering me. "I have not the time to train you to use magic, nor the patience. Fey are born with those capabilities, not taught. I trust Caelia; she has served me well. I will train you to be a diplomat. I will train you to represent us to the Clave. And I will train you to lead."

So… I was a faerie princess?

* * *

><p>They were all silent as they splashed out of the pond, all acutely aware of their missing member.<p>

Sopping wet and shivering in the night air, Clary turned to Jace. "This is all my fault."

"Probably," he agreed and walked away from her.

Isabelle glared at her before following her adopted brother. Feeling even worse, Clary looked to Simon for support but he had already stormed off in the opposite direction. She called to him but he ignored her. Ignoring the sinking feeling in her chest, she ran after Jace and Isabelle.

"Where are you going?" she demanded once she'd caught up to them.

"The Institute," Jace said emotionlessly. "The Inquisitor has to be informed."

"Oh." Clary shivered at the thought of the harsh woman. What would she do to them? Would they all be locked up in the Silent City?

"Jace," Isabelle said suddenly, "she won't be there. The Institute is empty, everyone's looking for clues in the Silent City."

Jace flipped his wet collar up in a useless attempt to be warmer. "Then we'll have to wait for her. She's going to be furious." He mused for a moment. "Maybe she'll be so upset, she'll have a heart attack."

"Don't get too hopeful," Isabelle cautioned.

Clary had the strangest feeling that they were simply going through the motions of their usual banter to distract themselves from the gaping hole of Jaci's absence. "Magnus!" she said suddenly.

Jace turned to stare at her. "No, I'm Jace."

She glared at him. She wanted to hate him – so badly. She wanted to not care. She wanted to take back that kiss. She wanted to rescue Jaci. But she was powerless. "Maybe Magnus could help us. If we go back to Brooklyn, we could ask him. We could get a taxi."

"Or we could still go to the Institute," Isabelle suggested. "We could get warm clothes and then find Magnus."

Jace nodded. "I need something from the Institute anyways."

Clary hesitated. "I think I'll catch up with Simon and get a cab."

Isabelle snorted. "He's not waiting for you."

Of course, Clary knew she was right. Wordlessly, Isabelle and Jace turned away from her and started walking, leaving her to trail in their wake. Clary found herself wishing for the constant comforting presence of her older sister. Jaci had always played the role of the bigger person, Clary realized. Even after something like this, even after she'd kissed Jace – knowing very well that Jaci was in love with Jace and she, Clary, was dating Simon – Jaci would've put aside her own emotions and come to Clary's rescue. She'd always thought of Jaci as something of a pushover but now she was beginning to see that it wasn't that Jaci was weak, it was that she was strong enough to care so much.

Isabelle turned, about to snap at Clary to keep up, but her words died the instant she saw the smaller girl's face. Maintaining her silence, she turned away again, pretending she hadn't seen Clary's tears and allowing Clary to pretend they hadn't fallen.

* * *

><p>Max was asleep in the foyer when they arrived at the Institute. Clary immediately broke away from the awkward little group as the other two moved towards their younger brother. Seeing siblings together hurt.<p>

Her feet automatically took her to Jaci's room in the Institute. Peeta was waiting, curled in the middle of the bed. Clary's heart clenched at the sight of the little animal. Was he waiting for Jaci to come back?

At the sound of her entrance, the cat had picked up his head and turned expectantly towards Clary.

"She's not here," Clary said softly, dropping on the bed in her muddy clothes. "I'm sorry."

And then she felt the tears again. This time, with no one there to see them, she let them fall without restraint. A thousand little acts of kindness from Jaci sprang into her mind and fueled more tears. "_Just don't be stupid, okay?" _

She snorted. "You know what Jaci told me, Peeta? She told me to take care of people, get things arranged. She didn't tell me to save her. She didn't tell me she was scared. She didn't _blame _me!" Her voice had risen to a shout. "Why didn't she blame me?! She _forgave _me… I've been horrible to her, I've said so many things I don't mean…" Somehow, Peeta had ended up in her lap. Curling around the cat, she allowed her body to slump over and she pressed her face into the blanket and let the emotions overcome her.

More time had passed than she was aware of. The tears had stopped, but she was still curled on the bed with Peeta when the door swung open. Jace jumped noticeably when he saw Clary there.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded.

"She's my sister," Clary said defensively, sitting up. "I can be in her room."

Jace could see that Clary was a wreck. "And you've ruined her sheets," he pointed out, struggling to regain his usual drawl. "She'll appreciate that."

Clary got up and moved to the dresser. "I was just going to borrow some of her clothes. They're they only ones that might fit me in this place."

She had expected Jace to make another comment, probably a rude one, but he didn't. Instead, he just suggested that she might feel better after a shower – she looked like a drowned rat.

The rat comment, Clary was ashamed to admit, reminded her of Simon and she immediately checked her phone. Nothing. Not one missed call. Not a single text. She dialed his number and it rang until voicemail took over.

Clary tossed her phone on the bed angrily, snatched some of Jaci's clothes, and marched into the bathroom to do her best to wash off the grime from that evening. She had the feeling it would probably stick with her, at least until they were able to get Jaci back.

Jace was waiting for her, perched on the edge of Jaci's vanity table. He looked mildly irritated, which was better than furious like he had before.

"You didn't need to wait for me," she said, very conscious of how badly Jaci's clothes fit her.

Jace shrugged. "It's late," he said, "maybe you should just sleep here."

Clary nodded mutely and Jace swept out of the room leaving her with the cat. With a heavy sigh, she flopped onto the bed (Jace had removed the damp blanket). From this new angle, she noticed that the nightstand was shoved out a little ways from the wall and the back was coming off of it. For some reason, it comforted her to know that not everything was flawless in the clean cut world of Shadowhunters.

_"Just don't do anything stupid, okay?_"

"I won't, Jaci. I promise," she murmured as she drifted off to sleep.

* * *

><p>After leaving Clary in Jaci's room, Jace had gone to the library after a quick stop at his own room to look for a possible way to save Jaci. He knew the Seelie Queen's words were laced with magic and that Jaci was bound there just as soundly as if she were wrapped with electrum wire. But there had to be a way.<p>

"Jace?"

He whirled around to see Isabelle, now wrapped in a long, flowy nightgown. "Izzy," he acknowledged her and then turned back to the shelf he was searching.

"What are you doing?" she asked, though he guessed that she had an idea.

"Looking for a way to help Jaci."

She was quiet for a moment. "A claim that's stronger than blood," she said at length. "We just have to come up with a claim for her that's stronger than blood."

"But that's what doesn't make sense," Jace argued. He didn't know why he was arguing, it wasn't that he disagreed with Isabelle. "There are Shadowhunters with faerie blood but the Shadowhunter blood is dominant. The faerie blood only makes a difference in appearance. And Jaci doesn't look part Fey."

Isabelle shrugged and moved a little further down the shelf to help look. "She's pretty enough."

Jace let out an impatient sound as he roughly snatched a book at random. "She's not faerie pretty. She's… she's Jaci. She looks like Jaci." _She looks like an angel,_ he thought.

"Well, it doesn't matter how the Queen thinks she gets Jaci," Isabelle stated. "If we can find a way to beat out her claim, Jaci's free. And we can do that."

"We _will _do that," Jace corrected.

* * *

><p>After an hour of scanning books, Jace had left Isabelle to search on her own for a while. Never before had she appreciated the full size of the library with all its masses of books. If only she knew where to look…<p>

Her eye was caught by a heavy, ancient looking book. Its cover was red, the color for Shadowhunter ceremonies. Deciding it was as good of a chance as any, she pulled it off the shelf and heaved it onto Hodge's desk and began paging through it.

The sheer number of ceremonies outlined in the book amazed her. Some she'd never even heard of. Instead of quickly scanning the text like she'd planned, she found herself reading each page and itching to try each ruin the ceremonies called for. She was reading about the Ascension ceremony when Jace returned.

She glanced up when she heard his footsteps approach the desk where she sat. In his hands he was holding what looked like a shard of glass.

"What's that?" Isabelle asked.

He glanced down at the object in his hand and then held it out for inspection. It looked like a piece of a picture, showing a landscape of grass and trees.

"Is that a piece of that Portal?"

Jace nodded. "I kept it. I keep thinking maybe I'll see my father in the reflection. Figure out what he's up to. But he's not in Idris anymore."

"Have you tried tracking him?" Isabelle asked, handing the piece of Portal back to him and returning her gaze to the book.

"Magnus has been looking," Jace answered. "He has my ring to help him." He flexed his hand briefly. "Have you found anything?"

Before Isabelle could answer, the sound of the Institute's doorbell rang through the air.

"It's three in the morning!" Isabelle cried in surprise, glancing at the clock. "Who's ringing our doorbell at three in the morning?"

"Maybe it's Magnus," Jace suggested.

"At three in the morning?" Isabelle asked.

Jace slipped the piece of glass into his pocket. "We should go look."

In the hall, they ran into a confused looking Clary. "What was that noise?" she asked them.

"The Institute's doorbell."

Clary paled. "Could it be the Inquisitor? Are they really still looking for clues?"

Jace shook his head. "The Inquisitor has her own way to get in. Any Shadowhunter could. The Institute is closed only to mundanes and Downworlders."

"Simon!" Clary cried. "It must be him!"

Isabelle yawned and wrapped her robe tighter around herself. "Oh for goodness' sake, is he really waking us up at this ungodly hour just to prove his love to you or something? Couldn't he have _called_? Mundane men are such twits."

Clary turned away from her and moved towards the foyer. If that was Simon, then why _hadn't _he called first? He wasn't really one to be this melodramatic. Then it occurred to her that he could be in trouble and she broke into a run.

"Running won't make the elevator come any faster," Isabelle commented, coming to a halt next to Clary in front of the elevator doors.

The elevator doors opened and immediately Clary stepped inside. Isabelle shot her a puzzled look. "It won't take all of us to answer the door."

Remembering Jaci's request, Jace wordlessly stepped into the elevator. Whoever it was at the door, they could be dangerous and Clary would be no match for a surprise attack. With a sigh, Isabelle followed Jace into the elevator.

To Clary, the ride down seemed to take longer than usual. Her heart was pounding; the thought of Simon in trouble was stuck in her mind. The instant the doors began to open, Clary forced her way through the gap and ran to the heavy double doors. She seized the bolt and heaved it back as the bell tolled again.

Jaci probably would've made some literary reference.

And it would've been terrifyingly accurate, Clary realized as she – with Jace's help – pulled the doors open. On the steps to the Institute stood Raphael, his head bowed over the burden he carried in his arms. Clary stared in fascination as a drop of some dark liquid dripped from what Raphael held. Blood.

Simon's blood.

* * *

><p><strong>So... what d'you think?<strong>


	17. Bargaining Chips

"Green?" I stared at the clothing handed to me. It was similar to Shadowhunter gear except with a distinctly Fair Folk twist. For one, it was green. For another, it was designed to look sort of natural with an overriding leaf theme. And instead of a jacket, I was pretty sure the big wad of fabric was actually a cloak.

Caelia nodded. "You are the Shadowhunter who represents the interests of the Fey. This is what the Queen wants you to wear."

"Does she realize that I'm going to need more than just this one outfit?" I asked. "And when can I sleep? What time is it?"

Caelia was the picture book version of a faerie. She had brilliantly blond hair that fell to her waist, pearly skin, and four delicate, transparent wings sprouting from her back. She was beautiful and slight with disconcerting black eyes. And by black I mean solidly black. "The Queen is aware of your needs," she said in a flat voice. "You may sleep when you grow tired. Which time are you asking for?"

Um…? "The time of day."

"Time moves differently in the Seelie Court than outside of it. I will leave you now. We will start when you wake." And with a flutter of wings, Caelia was gone.

I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket. Miraculously, it still worked despite its trip into the pond. Maybe it was some weird faerie mojo or something of that sort. According to my phone, it was almost three in the morning. Remembering Caelia's comment about differing times, I stared at the digital display and waited for the time to change. But then I remembered that I'd never been good at estimating periods of time anyways. I opened my phone's stopwatch and started it.

I counted five Mississippis before one second passed. So. Time moved five times faster in the Seelie Court. Marvelous.

My next test was to see if I could contact anyone but the message I tried to send to Jace refused to go through. The little electronic device beeped at me and then died. Of course.

Without anything better to do, I crawled into bed. I was exhausted to my very bones. I'd been awake for hours, listening to the Queen tell me about Light magic and trying to think of a way to get out.

But you can't trick faeries. You can't escape from them. They're too smart for that. My only chance was with Jace, Izzy, Clary, and Simon. Or maybe hell would freeze over and the Queen would willingly let me go.

Valentine was still out there. He'd killed a child of the Fair Folk and next he needed a vampire and a werewolf. He needed to be stopped before it was too late.

My head was spinning and I forced my eyes shut but I was too tired to fall asleep. In my mind, I kept seeing shadowy figures, just out of my line of vision. If time moved five times faster for me in the Seelie Court then that would have to mean I'd only been missing for a few hours – three at the most – instead of the entire night. The Inquisitor wouldn't even know I was gone. Did Magnus know yet?

And what would happen once the Inquisitor found out? Oh, she'd be furious, no doubt. But who would she be most upset with? Would it be me for leaving? Or Magnus for letting me go? Or the Fair Folk for keeping me captive? Well, the Inquisitor had been keeping me captive so I figured she'd probably be least upset with whoever was presently holding me prisoner. Not to mention that I literally couldn't escape.

I rolled onto my side and faced the wall. No one would be wandering in in the middle of the night to check and see if I'm having trouble sleeping. That fact made me feel hopelessly isolated. But worst was knowing about not knowing. I had no way to know what was happening to my friends, what was going on in the outside world.

For the second time in a very short timeframe, I was essentially exiled from the Shadowhunter world.

The quiet, steady hum of the earth filled my ears. I couldn't understand why I was so calm. My greatest fears were faeries and being underground and yet here, in the midst of both, I was almost comfortable. There was something about being surrounded by the earth that was comforting. I didn't feel exposed here. And Jace had made the Queen promise that I wouldn't be harmed. In any way. That promise couldn't be broken.

What was it about the Fair Folk that made it impossible for them to lie? And if I had active faerie blood in me, than shouldn't it have logically been impossible for me to lie? But I could. Maybe the honesty thing was a trait that was passed down directly and didn't really have much to do with the actual magical powers thing.

I sighed. My future inability to lie wasn't what mattered at the moment. What mattered was for me to sleep so I could think of a way out. What I needed was an ally among the Fey.

And then I realized, I had one.

* * *

><p>Clary screamed.<p>

"Don't look," Jace said, trying to pull her back inside the Institute and to where she couldn't see. "For God's sake, don't look."

Isabelle leaped into action and seized the nearest thing she could use as a weapon; a candelabra. "_What have you done to Simon_?" she hissed, brandishing the candelabra at Raphael.

The vampire stooped and laid the limp body that had once been Simon on the top step of the Institute, just outside the door. "_El no es muerto_."

"Speak English!" Clary snapped even though she knew exactly what he'd said. She couldn't handle anyone acting melodramatic. "He's not dead," she repeated to herself as she dropped to her knees and crawled over to Simon's too-still form. She cradled his head in her lap but he didn't respond to being moved. Using the sleeve of Jaci's shirt, she wiped some of the blood of off his face, trying not to stare at the torn flesh of his throat. _No one could survive that_, a small voice in the back of her head said.

She ignored it.

"Simon. Simon, it's me." She gently moved his hair back from his forehead.

"He can't hear you," Raphael said. "He's dying."

Clary didn't respond. If she answered Raphael, it would mean he had actually spoken which would give the words a terrible truth she couldn't handle.

"We should take him to the infirmary," Isabelle said, moving closer to Clary. "Then we can call Magnus."

"That won't do him any good," the vampire said. "You don't understand."

Jace stepped forward threateningly. "Then you'd better explain because otherwise I'm going to assume you're a rogue bloodsucker, and cut your heart out. Like I should've the last time we met."

"You swore not to harm me, Shadowhunter. Have you forgotten?"

Isabelle waved her candelabra. "I didn't."

Raphael turned his attention to Clary. "I remembered that night you brok into the Dumort looking for your friend. It is why I brought him here when I found him in the hotel, instead of letting the others drink him to death. You see, he broke in, without permission, and therefore was fair game for us. But I kept him alive, knowing he was yours. I have no wish for a war with the Nephilim."

Clary froze. "He broke in? Simon would never do anything that stupid and crazy."

Raphael sounded resigned and almost… remorseful when he spoke. "But he did because he was afraid he was becoming one of us, and he wanted to know if the process could be reversed. You might remember that when he was in the form of a rat, and you came to fetch him from us, he had bitten a member of our coven."

Clary felt her blood run cold. Now that Raphael brought it up, she could remember – vaguely – the conversation. "So what?" she demanded, trying to keep back the tears that were threatening.

"In any case," Raphael continued, "he took some vampire blood into his mouth when he did it. You know that is how we pass our powers to each other. Through the blood."

Suddenly, all the small signs of Simon acting differently made sense to Clary. "He thought he was turning into one of you. He went to the hotel to see if it was true."

The vampire nodded. "The pity of it is that the effects of the blood would probably have faded over time had he done nothing. But now…"

"Now what?" Isabelle demanded. Her dark eyes held Raphael's.

"Now he will die and rise again. Now he will be a vampire."

* * *

><p>Something was wrong.<p>

Or maybe just different.

I noticed it the moment I woke up. I had no way of knowing how long I'd been asleep but it felt as though during that time the world had shifted. Trying to shake off the feeling, I slowly crawled out of bed. Sitting in the middle of the room, next to the pile of odd, green Shadowhunter gear, was a new, neatly folded stack of clothing.

Changing definitely seemed like the best course of action, given the muddy/damp state of my clothing. The strange faerie clothes were exactly my size, I noted. And green. Well, the shirt was green with three-quarter length sleeves and the pants were brown capris. Not my usual look but at least the outfit was clean.

The moment I was changed, the curtain to the room was pulled open and Caelia appeared, dressed similarly.

"Good morning," I said, trying to be pleasant.

"We are going to begin," she answered and ducked back out of the room.

Catching the hint that she didn't exactly want to chat, I followed her. Part of me questioned the fact that no one was trying to keep this underground city secret from me. In fact, Caelia was pointing out where different places were located, telling me to memorize my way around so that she wouldn't have to babysit me anymore.

"Whenever you are awake," she said, "you will train."

"And when do I eat?" I felt my skin turn cold. "Eating something won't trap me here forever, will it?"

Caelia glanced over her shoulder at me. Her gaze was filtered through her clear wings. "If you were any other Shadowhunter, yes. But you are the Queen's elect. No Fey food will harm you or ensnare you."

I had to admit, that was a huge relief.

"So, when do I eat? Or shower?" I glanced around the corridor we were moving down. "Is there a bathroom anywhere nearby? Or how about a phone charger?"

Caelia giggled. "You ask so many questions. Can't you just trust?"

I was still trying to accept the fact that she had actually, genuinely giggled. "Nope."

"The Queen has given orders that your every need should be provided for. I will show you where you can bathe after we train today," she assured me. Then she smiled again.

Weird.

She was actually acting friendly.

"I'm part human," she announced at random. "That's why the Queen selected me to train you."

I nodded, not knowing what to say to that.

"Here." She turned sharply to the right into a partially hidden cavern. "This is where we will train."

During my extended stay at the Institute, I'd only been up to the training room maybe twice but I was able to see a plethora of similarities between there and here. There were different targets and elements set up around the large space and the entire far wall was covered in weapons. Heavy, oak beams crisscrossed the high ceiling and I could see what looked like safety harnesses up there.

"First, you warm up and stretch." Caelia crossed the room and picked up a sword. "Then, we practice. Then, once you are strong enough, I will teach you magic."

* * *

><p>I sighed heavily as I gingerly lowered myself into the steaming water. Everything in the room smelled like rose petals and I would have probably enjoyed the bath if it weren't for the fact that every inch of my body ached. And even after hours of exercise, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was <em>wrong<em>. Well, something besides the obvious being-stuck-with-faeries wrong.

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and dunked myself. The water was so warm, it felt uncomfortable on my eyelids and my skin felt as though I were in the middle of a full body acupuncture.

My everything hurt. And, according to Caelia, I wasn't done with training for the day yet. I groaned at the thought. A wave of panic suddenly washed over me and I had a terrible feeling that I was running out of time. Feeling panicky, I finished my bath quickly and got dressed. Something was going on and I wanted to know what.

Fully clothed – this time in a simple green dress – I ventured into the corridor, fighting the urge to run. Maybe I'd just been holding back my fear of the place and it was finally threatening to overwhelm me. But somehow, I doubted it.

It struck me as odd that the court would be so deserted. I'd only seen Caelia, the Queen, a handful of knights, and the occasional elf or sprite running around. Where were all the Fey? Did they only convene at certain times?

And thinking of Caelia, I turned a corner and ran straight into her.

"Watch where you're going," she snapped, needlessly brushing herself off.

I glared at her. She was the reason everything hurt. She had kept giving me drills while she had spent the time lounging on one of the rafters.

She glared right back. "The Queen will teach you to be courteous."

"Fantastic," I said sarcastically. "Now, will you tell me what's going on? Something's happened, I know it."

Caelia's mouth twitched slightly. "So," she said slowly, "my Lady was right."

Um, what? "About what?"

"You," she answered simply. "Come on, there's someone here to see you."

* * *

><p><strong>Any guesses on who Jaci's visitor is? (Guys, be proud of me! I'm writing a bunch!)<strong>


	18. Ghost in the Graveyard

"Taki!" I said, experiencing a mixture of relief and disappointment. I'd hoped my visitor would be Clary or Jace or Simon or Isabelle or even Alec. But at the same time, I'd been afraid that if it actually was one of my friends, something bad must've happened for them to come back so soon.

Instead, my visitor was someone I'd been wanting to contact.

The furry eared Fey bared his teeth at me. I guess that was his way of saying hello. "Shadowhunter."

Oh, right. That again.

Caelia had led me to the chamber and then disappeared so that I was left alone with the short order cook. It all felt strange and I didn't know what to do.

"What do you want?" I said in a bored tone.

"To deliver a message," he answered, eying me carefully as though trying to judge how I was going to react. "The vampire, Raphael, was seen going to the Institute. He was carrying a body."

My heart raced uncomfortably. It didn't mean anything. Not to me personally. It couldn't possibly mean anything. "A body?" My voice sounded much more nervous than I'd wanted it to.

Taki's steel colored eyes were locked on me. "A male body."

The room seemed to slowly be losing oxygen. "Is that so?"

This was it, this was what he was waiting for, why he was watching me so closely. "One of yours."

"_Simon_," I breathed.

The world spun around me. It seemed almost as though someone had told the ground it ought to be the sky. I didn't wait for my surroundings to settle, I turned and ran to find the Caelia.

Except I turned the wrong way and ended up finding the Queen instead.

"My Lady," I gasped, copying Jace. "My Lady, I must ask your leave. My-" I choked. "My fri- my brother… he's… he's been attacked."

She regarded me coolly. "And how would you be aware of this?"

"Taki."

She cocked her head to one side. "Why would you wish to concern yourself?"

I fought the urge to scream at her, to fling my tired body at her and attack. "Because _he's my brother_."

She blinked slowly. Her face was serene, almost with a trace of amusement. "No."

Jace was right, I realized as I stumbled away, she did enjoy toying with human emotions because she had none of her own.

* * *

><p>The Queen watched the Shadowhunter girl leave. So attached to mundanes, and for what? Their lives were so short.<p>

"Caelia," she called.

Within a moment the energetic faerie was at her side. "Yes, Lady Aeval?"

"Something has occurred between the vampires and the Nephilim children. I want you to tell me what."

Caelia didn't appreciate being sent to run errands, especially since it meant more time with more Shadowhunters when hers was already being unruly enough as it was. But no one went against the queen, especially members of the court.

Her wings twitched in irritation as she ran lightly down the corridor. If only Queen Aeval would return to Ireland. And soon.

* * *

><p>"Do you have a library?"<p>

No one was answering me. Well, the sprites I found just sort of mocked me and scampered off. Did that count as answering?

I needed to find a way to contact the Institute and my thoughts kept returning to books. They ought to have information in them, right? At least, that was what I hoped. But no one was being even remotely helpful. If I was supposedly the Queen's own personal Shadowhunter, didn't that come with a side order of respect?

An elf kicked at my foot.

Apparently not.

Something had happened to Simon – something bad. But I had no way of knowing _what _and the Queen wouldn't let me leave. If only I was strong enough to break through her magic…

I stopped mid-stride. Oh, it was so simple! The answer had been there, waiting for me the entire time! Feeling a rush of hope, I turned on my heel and set off towards the training room. It wasn't going to be the fastest way to get free, but it would work. It had to.

"Caelia!" I shouted as I started to jog through the halls. If there was ever a good time for that faerie to just show up, now was it.

But she didn't show up. I guess that's faeries for you, unreliable. However, Meliorn was standing calmly by the back wall, stringing a bow.

"I never thought I'd say this," I said as I walked towards him, "but I'm actually glad to see you." And without another word, I grabbed two swords off the wall, tossed one to him, and attacked.

* * *

><p>"This wasn't a good idea," Isabelle said softly to Jace.<p>

"And going to the Seelie Court was?" he snapped back.

Despite its still being summer and the fact that they were no longer soaked in pond water, the night air was still uncomfortably cold. Jace refused to admit he was cold though, and stood with his arms crossed, watching Raphael dig a fresh grave in the cemetery. Clary was nearby, cradling Simon's still body and shivering terribly.

Isabelle sucked in a breath as though his remark had physically harmed her.

Jace sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm just on edge."

"Why would you be on edge?" she asked dryly. "It's not like your girlfriend is being held hostage by a bunch of faeries and you're stuck playing guardian angel over her little sister while you wait for her best friend to be buried since he got himself attacked by vampires."

"Thank you for summing that up," he growled.

Isabelle shrugged but it turned more into a shiver. "Alec said he'd be here soon, right?"

Jace nodded shortly. "They have to stop and pick up some blood, but they're on their way."

"Clary's talking to Raphael," Isabelle pointed out. "It doesn't look like it's going so well."

They both stared at the scene. Raphael was taking a momentary break from digging the grave, leaning on his shovel. With a start of alarm, Jace noticed how pale Clary's face was.

"You watch Simon, I'll take care of Clary," Jace ordered and stepped forward.

Isabelle's mouth twisted into a humorless smile. There went Jace, taking care of Clary – even though he hardly liked her – because Jaci had asked him to. She could remember Jace when he was younger, refusing to do what he was asked just because he could. Jaci was good for him. If only she could've been there in the cemetery with them. It felt wrong to Isabelle that she would witness Simon's burial when she'd only known him for a little while and Jaci was trapped. She tried to imagine if Alec was in Simon's place and she was the one unable to be there. Her stomach dropped uncomfortably and she turned her mind away from that particular train of thought.

Clary seemed to sway where she crouched, Jace noted.

"Clary," he said firmly. "Come on. You don't have to watch this." And ignoring her quiet protests, he helped her to her feet. "Isabelle will watch him."

"I want to be here when he wakes up." She sounded like a sleepwalker.

Jace put a protective arm around her shoulders and led her away from the site. "I know. You will be, I just don't want you passing out and falling into the grave."

An image of being buried alive flashed through Clary's mind and she automatically leaned into Jace. "I feel sick."

"I know. I thought you were going to throw up on Raphael's feet."

"I thought you thought I was going to fall in," she pointed out half-heartedly.

Jace led her to a large rock and sat her down. "I think either one would have surprised him."

"This is my fault," she muttered as though she hadn't heard him.

"It's not your fault."

"Yes," Clary snapped, "it is.

Jace looked annoyed. "How do you figure that?"

"If it weren't for what happened in the faerie court, Simon would still be alive," she blurted out before she could filter her words.

The chilled air seemed to hold the silence and make it grow. Clary imagined that it was visible, like a cloud surrounding the two of them.

"Simon's not a child," Jace said at length. "He has to be held responsible for his own actions, too, you know."

"And I have to be held responsible for mine," Clary snapped back.

"_Jace!_" someone called.

"Alec?" Jace called back.

Sure enough, the dark haired boy appeared over the rise carrying a plastic bag in one hand. Behind him trialed Magnus, looking thoroughly unamused.

"I brought blood, like you asked," Alec said, holding up the bag.

Jace took the bag gingerly. "Do I want to ask where you got this?"

"From a butcher shop in Greenpoint," Magnus responded. "Now, do I want to know where you left Jaci?"

The steady sound of Raphael digging had stopped.

"I'll explain later," Jace said dismissively before turning to Clary. "When Raphael said this wouldn't be pleasant, he wasn't lying. You can stay here. I'll send Isabelle down to wait with you."

Clary thought about that. It would be a relief not to witness whatever was going to happen but she couldn't make Simon face that alone, especially without Jaci there either. "I want to be there. I _have _to be there."

No one tried to argue with her. Clary felt numb as they walked back into the clearing that held Simon's grave. Isabelle stood by the side of the freshly packed rectangle, her whip coiled through her fingers.

"Jesus, it's cold," Clary muttered, hugging herself. "It's as if it turned to winter overnight."

Raphael chuckled darkly. "Be glad it isn't winter. The ground freezes like iron in winter. Sometimes it is impossible to dig and the fledgling must wait months, starving underground, before it can be born."

Clary tried her best not to shudder at the mental image.

"Charming," Magnus muttered.

Raphael noticed the warlock for the first time then, his eyes widening in surprise for an instant. "High Warlock. I hadn't expected to see you here."

Magnus shrugged. "I was curious. I've never seen one of the Night Children rise. Besides," he glared meaningfully at Jace, "I thought I might run into a friend of mine here, but she appears to have vanished. How. Odd."

"Where is the other Shadowhunter?" Raphael asked, eyes flashing. "The clever one?"

"She had an important appointment with a very influential individual," Jace said evenly. "She was unable to cancel."

"Influential individual?" Raphael echoed. "You keep surprisingly illustrious company, Shadowhunter."

"Are you talking about yourself again?" Jace asked. "That seems boastful."

Alec let out an awkward laugh before speaking. "Maybe he meant me."

Clary stared at him. Did he really just make a joke?

"Sorry." Alec blushed. "Nerves."

Magnus reached out to comfort Alec, but the Shadowhunter boy stepped out of range self-consciously. Clary noticed and decided to defuse the tension – well, at least that tension, anyway.

"So what do we do now?" Her teeth chattered as she spoke.

"It is always cold at a rising," Raphael said, ignoring her question and noticing her shivering. "The fledgling draws strength from the living things that surround it, taking from them the energy to rise."

Clary had a bizarre mental image of a fanged duck. "You don't look cold," she pointed out.

Raphael met her gaze evenly. "I'm not living."

_And now_, Clary thought, _Simon won't be either. _

"Make room," Raphael ordered. "Simon can hardly rise with you all standing on top of him."

Clary jumped back hastily, not liking the idea of standing on Simon's grave – not liking the idea of Simon's grave, even. Her breath rose before her like a ghost, terribly fitting for the dark graveyard.

At that moment, a dull pounding began underneath the earth.

Isabelle tugged on Jace's sleeve. "I have a bad feeling about this." She stared at the freshly turned earth in apprehension. "This is wrong. This is very wrong."

"We couldn't let him die," Jace said back in a strained voice. The pounding was growing louder but nothing more seemed to be happening. The lack of movement was eerie. Where they stood, everything was still, despite the slight breeze that moved elsewhere. The prolonged suspense was grating on all their nerves.

Raphael began to pace and mutter to himself in Spanish, coming near to the edge of the grave – the central point of the pounding – but always backing away as though unsure of himself. Clary watched his progress closely, feeling the terrible cold seep into her bones.

"Something's wrong." Magnus's voice presented the thought they were all afraid to think.

The vampire in their midst didn't respond but continued to pace.

"Jaci should've been here," Clary murmured to herself. The pounding was terrible to listen to and the longer it lasted, the worse it got. That was Simon, trapped under the earth. Jaci's worst nightmare, she realized. "Why isn't he rising?!"

"Because he is not strong enough," someone answered.

Clary whirled to face the voice, half of her expecting to see Jaci striding into the clearing with some magical answer. But it wasn't Jaci. The figure approaching their group was smaller than Jaci and moved differently than the Shadowhunter girl. As the newcomer drew closer, Clary could make out shimmering wings growing out of the girl's back. A faerie.

"Now we're only missing a werewolf," Jace commented. "Why not just hold a mini-Accords?"

The faerie didn't respond to Jace. She walked past him as though he didn't exist and walked right to the edge of the grave.

"Get away from him," Clary hissed. This was a faerie. This was why Jaci was gone and now, now she was losing Simon too.

The faerie turned solidly black eyes towards her. "Certainly. If you wish to condemn him."

"Condemn him?" Clary echoed, panic coloring her voice.

"You," Jace snapped, turning on Raphael, hand reaching inside his jacket threateningly. "Tell us what's happening."

Raphael simply shrugged though his face was carefully emotionless. "He is not drawing the sufficient amount of energy from his surroundings."

"And what does that mean."

"It means," Raphael met Jace's eyes unflinchingly, "he may not want to rise."

* * *

><p><strong>Oh snap.<strong>


	19. Just Call Me Mulan

**Guys! Look at all the chapters I've made! Fer realz! It's sort of a big deal. I am having a lot of fun writing this part - I mean, in a truly heart wrenching way. What's happening is sort of all around awful, but it's very different from the books. I have a lot more freedom with what's to come. Soooo what d'you think's going to happen? Please tell me!**

* * *

><p>"What." It wasn't a question. For a moment, Clary thought she had been the one to speak but then realized it had actually been Isabelle.<p>

"He is not drawing the energy he needs," Raphael pointed out simply. "It must be only by choice. There are enough of the living here to provide more than enough energy."

Clary felt as though her stomach had vanished without warning the rest of her insides so that now they were all sitting in new, bizarre places. "What happens if he doesn't rise?"

Now that she listened, the pounding under the earth didn't seem to be growing closer to the surface or farther away. It was just simply staying.

The elegant vampire shrugged. "He will wait under the earth until he decides he is ready, or until he grows too weak to free himself."

"Then we have to dig him out," Jace said, stepping forward to grab the spade but the faerie hissed at him.

"Fool Shadowhunter," she spat. "You know nothing of Downworlders and yet you insist on trying to control us."

"Who are you?" Alec demanded of her. "I don't believe you were invited here."

The faerie smiled and Clary noticed her teeth looked almost as sharp as Raphael's. "I am Caelia. I am the keeper of your Jaelyn."

"Then where is she?" Jace glowered down at Caelia. He was very aware that he could break her bones, she looked so delicate. Even smaller than Clary.

Caelia stared back at him unwaveringly. Foolish Shadowhunter boy, so confident in his strength. "She is safe."

"Why isn't she here?" Isabelle asked.

"Because it isn't time for her yet." Caelia turned back to face the grave. "This mundane, he is important to her?"

Clary realized with a start that Caelia was addressing her. She nodded quickly and looked away from the faerie's chilling gaze.

"Then he is important to the Fey," she said simply. "He will rise, even if we must wait."

"The _Fey _took my Shadowhunter?" Magnus huffed in exasperation. "I want her back," he said to Caelia.

"She is not yours," she answered simply, settling down on the ground, closing her large, dark eyes.

"Great, now I have to visit the Seelie Court and see if I can fix your problems," the warlock muttered. "Again."

No one responded to him. They were all preparing to hold vigil throughout the night, waiting for Simon to rise. Soon, the only sound was the steady beating under the ground, as though the earth itself was coming slowly to life.

Clary felt so tired… And the pounding under the earth was so rhythmic…

* * *

><p>Jace watched vigilantly as Clary fell asleep, curled in the grass, shivering slightly.<p>

He turned when Isabelle spoke. "You said we couldn't dig him out. That we didn't understand."

Caelia slowly opened her eyes. She was clearly annoyed. "Because you don't."

Jace turned to Raphael. "Care to explain?"

"If you unearth a fledgling, it will not be fully turned and will die slowly and painfully," he said.

"So, we wait for Simon," Isabelle said.

Magnus sighed dramatically. "I rushed here so that I could stand around a pile of dirt and find out you irresponsible bunch lost my Shadowhunter. This is _not _what I had planned for my evening."

"You don't have to stay," Jace pointed out.

"You have an excellent point," Magnus admitted, unhitching himself from the tombstone he was leaning against. "Enjoy your frosted rendezvous in the cemetery." He motioned for Alec to follow him.

"I'll text you," Alec said to Jace. Jace just nodded in response.

As he walked past Clary, the warlock stopped for a moment and snapped. A fleece blanket appeared to cover her.

"Thank you," Jace said. He knew Jaci would be appreciative.

The group around the grave sank into silence. Now the beating below the earth rose and fell periodically, not as loud as it had been.

Isabelle heaved a sigh and then sat on the ground next to Clary's sleeping form. She pulled the other girl's torso onto her lap, stealing her heat and part of her blanket. Jace raised an eyebrow at his sister.

"It's cold," she said defensively. "And it doesn't sound as though anything is happening anytime soon."

Jace had to admit, she had a point, so he sat down next to her and hugged his knees.

* * *

><p>There was a rock digging into his back. Wasn't that how it always went with sleeping outside? There was always one rock in the worst position.<p>

Jace sat up stiffly and blinked in surprise when he saw his surroundings. They were still in the cemetery, except now it was dawn and Raphael was nowhere to be seen. Beside him, Isabelle and Clary were still asleep in a tangled mess of blanket and limbs.

"You're lucky," said the faerie. Her back was to him, facing the rising sun. The slight glow reflected dazzlingly off her wings.

"What?"

Caelia rose gracefully to her feet. "Demons could have found you if I hadn't stayed." And she began to walk away.

"Where are you going?" Jace demanded, scrambling to his feet. She knew where Jaci was, _how _Jaci was.

"I am going to babysit my Shadowhunter," Caelia said flatly. "Daycare's over. Well, I suppose it would have been Nightcare."

He whirled to stare dazedly at the fresh grave. "He's still under there."

"Observant," the faerie commented. "You may as well not waste your time, he will not rise during the day."

"So you're leaving."

She paused for a moment and glanced towards the east. "For now. A representative of the Seelie Court will return at dusk."

"Jaci…?" he asked hesitantly.

"What about Jaelyn?"

He took a deep breath. "Tell her that he won't be left alone."

The faerie looked impressed. "You intend to stand guard over a fledgling vampire who will not rise? But he is only a Downworlder."

"No," Jace said, turning away from her, "he's Simon."

* * *

><p>Caelia had never seen a Shadowhunter cry.<p>

She had seen mundanes cry, even werewolves. She had once heard a rumor of a demon who cried. But she'd never seen a Shadowhunter cry. And she had never seen anyone who wanted to do archery while crying.

But the Queen did say this Shadowhunter was not like the others.

_Maybe, _Caelia thought to herself, _this one is broken_. She watched passively as arrow after arrow soared past her and thudded into a target.

"Jaelyn-"

Suddenly the faerie was staring down the shaft of an arrow that was poised only inches from her face.

"_Don't call me that_," the Shadowhunter hissed, jerking the bow up as she released the arrow, sending it sailing up to the ceiling where it embedded itself into one of the rafters.

"Jaci," Caelia tried again, wrinkling her nose at the modified name. "I've spoken to the Queen."

"Lovely," Jaci answered, making the rounds to collect her arrows.

"Meliorn is going to stand guard tonight."

"Am I supposed to find that comforting?" Jaci demanded, dumping an armful of arrows into a pile at the foot of a rope used to reach the rafters. "Because I don't, actually. My brother," there were spaces between her words as she heaved herself up the rope, "is dead… and you expect… me to be okay… with not… being there for him?"

Caelia sighed. Why was she the one who had to tame the Queen's pet? "He is not your brother."

"Shows how much you know," Jaci called from up in the rafters. Neglecting a safety harness, she began to move like a tightrope walker along the beam towards the arrow.

Grudgingly, Caelia had to admit to herself that she was impressed. When they had first started training, Jaci had fallen off the beam several times with the harness on. Of course part of it was that Jaci hadn't had any runes at that point.

Ever since that first day, the Shadowhunter girl had thrown herself wholeheartedly into her training, dueling whoever she could find when Caelia was needed elsewhere. The Queen, pleased with the progress, had permitted Jaci to use a stele during her training sessions.

She moved gracefully along the beam to where the arrow stuck and stretched out on her stomach, reaching around to grab the shaft and gave it a tug. It wouldn't budge.

"You won't be able to retrieve it like that," Caelia commented. "You can't put enough force behind you."

Jaci glared at her. "Wanna bet?" And still holding onto the arrow with one hand, she rolled off the beam. Her weight pulled the arrow free and then she began a freefall towards the floor, flipping in midair so that her feet were beneath her and then landing in a crouch.

Caelia snorted. "You could have been seriously injured had you mistimed that."

"Well, I didn't," Jaci pointed out, twirling the arrow between her fingers. With a snarl, she snapped it in half and threw it to the floor.

Caelia went and grabbed the discarded bow. She notched an arrow and shot it into the same beam that Jaci had.

Jaci stared at her. "Why did you do that?"

"Retrieve the arrow."

"Okay, Shang," Jaci grumbled, going back to the rope. This time she climbed the rope even faster and moved quickly across the ceiling to the arrow. Lying on her stomach, she reached around, grabbed the arrow and rolled off the beam but this time the arrow held fast. Jaci grabbed the arrow with her other hand, feet swinging wildly. "Not funny!"

Caelia giggled. "Get it down," she sang.

Jaci sighed and closed her eyes, gathering herself. Slowly, she began to swing not just her legs but her entire body like a pendulum. As she gained momentum, she could feel the arrow working its way free. It broke free of the wood when she was at the foremost part of her swing. Keeping her body moving forward, she flipped in midair like a gymnast and landed lightly on her feet.

"Here's your arrow," Jaci said stiffly.

Caelia accepted the arrow with a small smile. "So you're ready then."

"Ready for what?"

"To start the next part of your training."

* * *

><p><strong>What does that even mean?<strong>


	20. Spoken Silence

**It's not a very good chapter, but it is a chapter so at least that's something, right?**

* * *

><p>With a heavy sigh, I dropped my head onto the table. Again.<p>

"You must open your mind," Caelia hissed. "It's an easy enough bit of magic to accomplish."

"For a f_aerie_!" I pointed out angrily, speaking into the table. Even though I was less battered and bruised, I was missing the old part of my training. The part where I got to beat things up. Now I was just beating up my own, poor mind in an attempt to learn magic.

"It's Neutral magic!" Caelia said with boatloads of exasperation. "It's the most accessible!"

"Well," I snapped, picking up my head, "Shadowhunters don't use Neutral magic!"

She didn't respond immediately. "You're right," she said at length. "They don't."

Wings all aflutter, she fairly leaped across the table in her rush to get to the book shelf behind me. She returned with a large, green book.

"Hold the phone," I said, suddenly very alert. "That's the Gray Book."

"I know what it is, Shadowhunter." The faerie didn't look amused with me.

I reached for it, moderately surprised that she didn't take it away from me. "So why do the Fey have a copy of the Gray Book?"

"Because we have you."

Because that explained everything.

"I want you to read the Gray Book," she said simply.

"Okay."

"Out loud."

I stared at her. It really didn't seem like this faerie was in possession of her full mental faculties. The idea of the runes was that they didn't have a pronunciation. They were words without sound. Without sound meant they couldn't be read aloud.

"That's not possible."

"You haven't tried it." She flipped the book open to a marked page. The rune for remembrance.

I stared at it for a moment before it occurred to me that there _might _be a way to say it. It would be a word that mimicked the shape of the rune somehow. A word for remembrance that anyone would recognize… but the more I thought about the word, the less likely I was to say it. It was strange.

"Don't think," Caelia said softly. "Just let it happen. Magic isn't a conscious process. _Don't think_."

Clearing your mind is actually very difficult, especially when under pressure so instead I just focused on the rune on the page in front of me. It was weird, it wasn't like writing in a book that will go out of focus after a few seconds. It just stayed, clearly defined and sharp.

And so, I opened my mouth and spoke.

* * *

><p>Slowly and carefully, Clary made her way up the hill. She had a drink carrier with hot coffee and she hoped there wouldn't be more than four people at the cemetery since that was as many drinks as she had.<p>

It was finally evening after a very long day. She had spent most of it at the hospital, talking to her mother and trying to figure out what she was going to tell Simon's mom. In the end, Luke had called her to say he was spending a few days with him. It had seemed suspicious at the time and now it just seemed even worse. Clary found herself wishing that Jaci was there more and more.

The sun was setting as she reached the clearing. Jace was there already, wearing the same clothes from the day before. He looked terrible but then again, Clary realized, he hadn't had anything to eat all day. And he was still hiding out from the Inquisitor. So was Magnus. And Alec since he was stuck with Magnus.

"Any change?" Clary asked, handing Jace a coffee.

He grunted and accepted the steaming beverage. There was once again a chill in the air.

They didn't say anything more but settled in to wait. Soon Isabelle had joined them, bringing food for Jace which he began to eat silently.

"The Inquisitor isn't suspicious," Isabelle informed them as she settled herself daintily on a headstone.

"Isn't that a bit disrespectful?" Jace pointed out.

Isabelle shrugged. "I don't think he really minds."

Clary had to admit, she had a point.

"But back to the Inquisitor, I don't think we can hide the fact that Jaci's gone for very long," Isabelle continued. "She's going to notice that three people are missing from the Institute as soon as the investigation of the Silent City slows down."

"How observant of you," drawled a new voice. It belonged to Magnus who entered with Alec in tow. "And I was wanting to talk to you about that, Clarissa."

"Me?" Clary asked, confused.

"Yes, you." He turned his cat gaze on Jace. "And you, lover boy."

"What do you want?" Jace snapped.

"I can't keep Alec forever, as much as I'd like to."

Alec blushed furiously and stepped self-consciously away from the warlock who in turn pretended he didn't notice.

"So?"

"I think it's time to trade out my Shadowhunter," Magnus explained. "Otherwise Maryse will start to wonder where Alec is. It would make sense that Jace would hang around if I actually had Jaci in my care."

"And how do I have anything to do with it?" Clary cut in.

"Because when the Inquisitor comes to visit, I need someone I can pass off as your sister," Magnus snapped. "Which is really not that easy. And you all ought to know that I do not come cheap."

"You're _charging_ us?" Jace demanded. "I thought we were friends."

"Friends?" the warlock questioned. "More like future roommates."

A rustle drew their attention to the tree line where a new figure had appeared. The Fey representative.

"Well this is awkward," Isabelle muttered.

"Why do you say that?" Clary asked.

"Because that's Meliorn. I broke up with him yesterday."

Jace, hungry and exhausted, sat down on the ground to wait for the second night in a row. For everyone's sake, he desperately wished that Simon would rise.

* * *

><p><em>I was on a train, on the way to family vacation. I sat directly across from my mother, wedged between my brothers. My father was sleeping against the window.<em>

_It was my last day of school. I packed up my locker in silence, placing my battered copy of _City of Bones_ in my bag._

_It was my first day of freshman year. I ate lunch by myself._

_It was my tenth birthday. We had cake for dessert. My parents fought after they thought I was asleep, but I never knew what about._

_It was my first loose tooth. I stayed up all night crying because I thought I was going to die._

_It was my first day of school. I wore a red, polka-dot dress._

The memories flooded my mind unexpectedly. My nearly forgotten, other-world past was suddenly more vivid than yesterday. I guess the remembrance rune had done its job.

When I finally opened my eyes, Caelia was beaming at me.

"The Queen was right," she said. "You can speak the soundless runes."

"That makes complete sense," I muttered sarcastically. "How long have I been here, anyways?"

"It has been nearly a day," Caelia replied.

"No way." Only one day? That wasn't possible because I had counted and time moved five times faster in the Seelie Court which meant that it only should've felt like five days to me but really it felt more like a month. Or two.

"Time is flexible here," the faerie explained. "It flows as the Queen wishes it to."

I blinked. "So in crazy Fey time, how long have I been here?"

"Approximately forty-seven days," she responded crisply.

"I want out," I demanded. "I don't want to be stuck here anymore."

Her black eyes met mine and I couldn't read her expression. "I will see what I can do."

It was like the sun had decided to rise in the west. "Are you serious?"

"Wait here," she ordered, and swept out of the room.

* * *

><p>I couldn't believe it. I was being let outside! Only temporarily but at least it was something. And even better than that, I was being allowed to go and visit Simon – I refused to think of it as his grave. On the less-than-bright side, I had to take my babysitter along, too.<p>

We didn't talk as we got on the subway. Or along any other part of the journey either. I was too busy trying to take in the fact that I had only been away from the surface world for twenty-four hours. It didn't make any sense and it made my head hurt.

Still in silence, I followed the faerie through the darkened cemetery and towards the faint sounds of people talking. That didn't make sense to me. Why were there so many people? But as we cleared the rise, I saw why.

A total of seven figures were spread around a still-fresh grave. There was Raphael, and Meliorn – the faerie guard – and Magnus. And then there were –

"Shadowhunters!" I cried in relief. It had been so long and I was so tired of unnatural Fey.

"Jaci?" asked my sister cautiously.

"Clary!" I ran to her. She looked tired and upset but otherwise okay. _Only one day_. "I missed you so much!"

"Jaci?" Isabelle sounded surprised. "You're back? They've let you go?"

"Temporarily," I told her, carefully keeping my eyes away from the grave. "Only for a few hours."

"Well that's not so bad, then," she said encouragingly. "You've only been there for a day."

"If only," I muttered. "Time doesn't work the same for faeries."

And then I couldn't see Isabelle anymore. The world had gone dark and warm and _close_. It was Jace, holding me silently.

I stopped pretending that it was no big deal and that I wasn't scared or lonely. I stopped pretending that it hadn't actually felt like forty days.

"I'm never losing you again," he whispered.

"Jace," I began. "Jace, I can't stay. They aren't letting me go."

He pulled away from me abruptly and studied my face. "What do you mean."

"They're not done training me," I whispered, unsure if I was allowed to share all of this. "But I'm working on getting out."

His eyes darted towards where Caelia stood and he immediately began to lead me away. "Explain."

"Bossy much?" I joked half-heartedly.

He didn't respond.

"The Queen can manipulate time within the Court," I explained as quickly as I could. "I'm going to request that she makes it move faster than it already does so that I can get through this training as quickly as possible. She plans to use me as an ambassador to the Clave so she won't keep me cooped up forever."

A muscle in his jaw twitched. "I don't like it," he admitted. "The Queen can still draw you back at any time."

I sighed and rested my head against his shoulder. "I know, but it's better than this."

"You've only been gone for a day," he pointed out, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"It's been over a month for me," I said sadly. And it felt like a heck of a lot more.

"Jace! Jaci!" It was Isabelle.

Catching the urgency in her tone, we were both back to the gravesite in seconds. And I immediately knew why she had shouted. Beneath the earth, a steady pounding had begun. It sounded almost like someone knocking and I couldn't help but shiver.

"It _is _cold," Magnus pointed out. He then seemed to jump visibly. "My Shadowhunter!"

"No," Caelia snapped, appearing suddenly in front of him, "_my _Shadowhunter."

"What have you done with her?" Magnus stepped around the faerie and grabbed my wrists, holding them out away from my body. "You've made her all muscly and warriorish." He took my shoulders and spun me around. "I don't think I like it," he announced. "She wasn't so rigid before."

His comment made me panic. Had I really changed? Was I losing myself?

"She's still Jaci," Clary said loudly.

I can't think of a time when I was more grateful to my baby sister. But I didn't have long to contemplate it since the earth heaved suddenly, causing as all to stumble back. The only one present who didn't seem surprised by the sudden motion was Raphael.

The vampire grinned terribly. "So, the fledgling has decided to rise."


	21. The Fanged Duckling

"Do you picture a fluffy duck with fangs every time he says fledgling, too?" Clary asked, appearing suddenly beside me.

I forced myself to look at the grave. "Something like that. I definitely don't picture Simon, though."

And then the earth broke into chaos. The dirt over the grave moved like a live thing, constantly changing. It made me feel sick.

"This isn't right," Isabelle whispered.

"It's a vampire rising," Jace muttered back. "Of course it isn't."

He was right. Simon shouldn't've been a vampire, he still should've been Simon. This should't've happened. I should've stopped it. But I'd been forgetting the books and the fact that I could call all the shots before they were ever fired. I'd nearly forgotten Jaelyn Flynn and my original family.

Suddenly, not really sure how I'd gotten there, I found myself crouched by the edge of the grave, muttering.

Time stopped making sense then because the next thing I was aware of, was Jace dragging me back as a dirt covered Simon got to his feet and then stumbled and fell.

"Simon!" Clary cried. She lunged forward, nearly falling in the turned earth, and made her way to Simon's side.

"Clary, get back!" I shouted.

She didn't see that Simon wasn't right, that there was something terribly off. And before she had a chance to back up, Simon had lunged at her, exposing her neck. I could see his fangs.

And then he was gone. Pulled off by Raphael.

"He doesn't know me," Clary gasped.

"He knows you," Raphael responded. "He just doesn't care. He is starving. He needs blood."

The vampire cast a look over all of us and I realized with surprise that everyone had prepared to attack Simon in order to save Clary. Meliorn had an arrow notched to his bow aimed at Simon while Caelia held a glittering knife. Beside me, Isabelle was calmly recoiling her whip and I heard the rasp of metal as Jace put away one of his numerous daggers.

"Alec," Jace said in a commanding tone.

At this cue, Alec tossed a plastic bag to Raphael. Even though I hadn't seen, I knew that inside the bag were packets of blood and the truth of what was about to happen began to sink in. Simon the vegetarian was about to taste his first blood.

"Come," commanded the crisp voice of my personal faerie. "You have stayed long enough."

I turned to argue with her but her expression was set.

"Please," I said.

"I cannot go against the Queen's orders," Caelia responded. "Say goodbye. Actually, there isn't time for that." She grabbed my arm with unexpected force, and pulled me away.

"Jaci!" Jace shouted. I saw him reach for me and then the cemetery was gone and I was back at the pond. The shock of the sudden change of scenery made the scene I had just witnessed so much worse.

Only one day for them.

Over a month for me.

And who knew how long it would be before I was able to leave again.

"I hate you," I said quietly as I followed Caelia to the center of the pond.

"Me personally or the Fey?"

I closed my eyes as I stepped backwards into the reflection of the moon. "Both."

* * *

><p>Another week passed but really it was maybe only two hours. I had no way of knowing and now the Queen had forbidden me to know the outside time. This new order might've had something to do with the fact that the instant we were back inside the Court, I tracked her down and started shouting, even going so far as to throw Caelia's dagger at her. Caelia was just lucky I didn't throw her.<p>

The Queen's words echoed in my mind. _"Too much unnecessary knowledge has made you unruly. We will limit that knowledge." _

Limit my knowledge. Like hell she would.

I was supposed to be sleeping. I'd finished my "cool down" training. That was another new implement of the Queen's in order to make me more "stable." She'd put me back on a physical training schedule along with the new, stupid magic training and the even more stupid diplomatic training. But all she'd managed to do was make me even more upset and determined to get out.

So I'd found the library.

It wasn't organized very well but at least there were books with information. All I needed was to find something stronger than blood.

I dropped the book I was holding.

_Stronger than blood. _A tie that was closer than family…

Weren't all of my ties closer than family since I didn't actually have a family? Technically? But if that was true, then why couldn't I leave?

"Jaelyn."

It was Caelia. Of course it was Caelia. I was so sick of Caelia.

"Yes?" I asked politely.

"You need your sleep."

And with that, I was sent off to bed.

* * *

><p><em>Thud<em>.

Magnus was sick of that sound.

_Thud_.

And the Shadowhunter making it.

Jace had only been there for six hours and already the warlock was regretting his decision. But he disliked the Inquisitor more than he disliked Jace and –

_Thud._

-he still felt sorry for the broken boy.

Jace got up with a sigh from the large pink chair he was sitting in and went to retrieve the knives he'd sunk into the opposite wall. Where they had sunk into the dry wall made a perfectly straight line. He tugged them free and returned to his chair to start over. Again.

It'd only been six hours since leaving the cemetery and already Jace had searched through all of the not banned books in Magnus' apartment for a claim that was greater than blood. He hadn't really expected to find anything, but it had been a way to pass the time. His only hope now seemed to be Isabelle, searching at the Institute.

He aimed a knife at the wall but as he went to throw it, the weapon was plucked out of his hand.

"You can finish murdering my wall later," Magnus promised. "Right now, I need you to call darling Clarissa."

"Why?" Jace snapped, sinking into his moody teenager routine.

"Because the Inquisitor has called us to tea."

* * *

><p>"I don't look any different," Clary announced, staring at the mirror in front of her.<p>

The shimmering warlock sighed dramatically. "That's because I haven't started the magic yet."

Blue sparks danced from his fingers as he wiggled them. Across the room – in the same pink chair as before – Jace sighed.

"Then start it."

Magnus whirled on him. "Watch yourself."

Anxiously, Clary pulled out her phone to check the time. "He's right though. We need to hurry."

Looking slightly annoyed, Magnus went to work. A web of green sparks appeared to surround Clary. Through the magic, Clary could just see her reflection in the mirror. She watched in amazement as her red curls relaxed and lengthened into her sister's waist length, brown hair. Her skin tone darkened slightly and her freckles melted away. Gradually, the too-big clothing of Jaci's that she was wearing came to fit her perfectly.

Magnus snapped his fingers and the web of magic vanished. In the mirror where Clary had been before was now the noticeably taller reflection of Jaci.

"Wow," Clary murmured. She gasped in surprise. Even her voice was Jaci's.

"What do you think?" Magnus whirled Clary to face Jace with a flourish.

Clary felt uncomfortably hot while Jace's golden eyes raked up and down her borrowed body. She couldn't read his expression and wasn't sure how to react.

"She'll pass." And without another look at her, he stood and made his way towards the door. "We have to go."

* * *

><p>Four weeks. It had been four weeks and not a glimpse of sun or chance of escape. No one had come to visit me except Taki who never had much to report since only an hour or two would pass between visits.<p>

"Are you even paying any attention to me?" Caelia demanded.

"Nope," I admitted, sending a fake smile across the table to her. "Not even in the slightest."

"Well you should," she snapped, "because this is important."

"Isn't everything important?" I drawled, mimicking Jace's usual façade. I missed him. And the worst part was wondering if he had even begun to miss me yet. For all I knew, he could still be in the cemetery with all the others. They might not've even noticed I was gone.

"The sooner you understand this concept, the sooner the Queen will release you," she announced solemnly.

I froze. She was a faerie. She couldn't lie. "You have my undivided attention." All sarcasm and snark gone.

"Lady Aeval has been searching for explanations about what you can do, what language you speak when you use magic," Caelia paused, as if waiting for me to interrupt but I didn't. "Light magic is bound to the runes – the language of the angels. Not even the angels speak this language aloud, they don't need to.

"The magic is manifest within the language itself; it is what allows the angels to speak and be understood in any language. You lack the power of the angels to use this language silently but you have the ability to give it voice."

"Cool," I said unenthusiastically. "How does that help me get out of here? Also, what's the language called?"

"It doesn't have a name. The Queen wants you to master it. Since you can speak the runes, you won't need a stele and that sets you apart and above the other Shadowhunters."

"I fail to see how that sets me above them," I pointed out.

"It makes you different and it makes you powerful."

"Great," I said. "Can I go home now?"

Caelia shook her head. "Not to stay. But it is time for you to begin your duties as our ambassador to the Clave."

And then it occurred to me that I now had my very own, personal bargaining chip. Me.

* * *

><p>This seemed like a bad idea. At least, in Clary's opinion it was a bad idea.<p>

A very bad idea.

She still was having trouble believing that they were really going to see the Inquisitor and try to pass her off as Jaci. There was no way it would ever work, even if she did look the part.

"Now remember," Jace was saying, "leave the talking to me. This isn't an interview, she just wants to make sure Magnus still has you."

"Which is really a slap in the face," Magnus noted. "I've kept Shadowhunters for the Clave before."

"But you don't have Jaci," Clary pointed out in Jaci's voice.

Magnus glowered down at her, his cat eyes narrowed threateningly. "And was that my fault?"

Clary decided not to answer that. It was good timing, too, because at that moment, the Institute doors swung open to reveal Isabelle waiting for them.

The dark haired girl gasped at the sight of Clary. "Jaci? You're back!"

"No," Clary said quietly. "I'm Clary."

She tried not to be hurt by the look of disappointment on Isabelle's face. "Oh, right. I didn't think the disguise would be that good. Well, you'd better come up. The Inquisitor's waiting in the library and I really don't think she's happy."

Jace scoffed. "Is she ever?"

"Jace!" Isabelle cried. "You look awful."

"That's a strange way to say hello."

"Let's move along," Magnus said crisply. "I do have more obligations than catering to your every whim."

"You need to get some sleep," Isabelle scolded Jace as she led the group to the elevator. "You look awful."

"You mentioned that once," Jace said testily.

Isabelle crossed her arms and tapped her foot unhappily as the elevator rattled to a stop. "I meant it both times." Without waiting for instructions, she took Jace's arm and began leading him in the direction of the kitchen. Naturally, he protested. "Relax. Alec has something for you."

"So," Clary said in a shaky voice, "to the library?"

Magnus winked at her. "You ready for this?"

"Yes," she lied.

He frowned. Clary didn't seem to be up for the job and she might say something entirely unlike her sister. "Maybe you just shouldn't talk."

She opened her mouth to protest but Magnus snapped his fingers and she found her voice was gone.

"Better."

* * *

><p>"Have you found anything that might work?" Jace asked the instant Isabelle led him in the kitchen.<p>

"Tea first," she instructed. "Then we can talk."

"Tea?"

"Go sit by Alec."

Jace pulled out a stool next to his parabatai and took a tentative sip from the large cup of tea that was sitting on the counter. "It's not bad," he said with surprise.

"Mom made it," Alec explained.

"So have you found any way to free Jaci?" Jace asked again.

Isabelle refused to answer him until he took a long draught of tea. "It'll make you feel less tired."

"And we might have," Alec admitted.

Jace didn't notice that Alec's voice sounded strained, almost as if he was speaking against his will. "What is it?"

Both he and Isabelle looked expectantly at Alec, who shot a panicked glance to his sister.

She sighed heavily. "Marriage."

"You're joking," Jace said flatly.

Isabelle slouched against the counter. "I don't even know if it would work, but it makes sense in a way. Once people get married they stop living with their families, almost as if the ties made in a marriage ceremony are stronger than blood."

"_Marriage_?" Jace repeated. It sounded like the most insane plan he'd ever heard. "You can't be serious."

"You're not old enough to get married anyway," Alec pointed out, sounding almost hopeful.

"You don't want to marry Jaci?" Isabelle asked.

Jace spluttered. "It's not- I've never even- _this isn't some faery tale where you marry someone you just met._"

"You haven't just met Jaci," Isabelle argued. "And it's just an option, I'm not saying it's the only one. It's just that we haven't found a different one."

"Yet," Alec interjected.

Jace finished off his tea so that he could buy a few moments to think. Marriage? But he was only seventeen. So was Jaci! Shadowhunters got married young, but not that young. It was crazy to even consider. But if it was the only way to save her…

"I'm going to go see her," he announced.

"Oh no you're not." Magnus had entered the room with Clary in tow. "The Inquisitor is satisfied that I still have Jaci in my custody and so we will be going. Back to my apartment," he added for clarification. "The Fey have already taken one of my Shadowhunters, I'm not giving them my spare."

Even though Magnus had removed whatever magic was keeping Clary silent, she didn't say a word as they left the Institute and got on the subway. She'd overheard the conversation in the kitchen before she'd walked in. Was Jace really going to marry Jaci? Even though Jace never spared her a second glance, she'd still held on to the smallest hope that _maybe_ in some impossible way they weren't related and that there was a chance for them to be together. And she was disgusted by her own thoughts.

_He's your brother! _She mentally scolded herself.

"Magnus, can you change me back?" she asked suddenly, realizing where she was.

"The magic wore off almost as soon as we left the Institute," Jace snapped.

He was right, of course. She was back to her usual, red haired self. "Oh, thanks," she said softly. "I think I'm just going to go to Luke's."

Magnus nodded to show he'd heard her and then proceeded to ignore her presence entirely.

Feeling terribly alone, Clary turned away from them and pulled out her phone.

"Hi, Luke," she said. "Are you at the hospital?... I'll meet you there… Okay, bye." She snapped it shut and looked around. The warlock and the Shadowhunter had vanished, leaving her on her own.

* * *

><p><strong>Dun dun du duuuun, dun dun du duuuun. - That's me singing the wedding march. What d'you think? Are there bells ringing? IS JACE GOING TO PROPOSE TO JACI? I honestly do not know.<strong>


	22. Things That Go Bump in the Night

_It was nighttime, or as close to the actual thing as I was ever going to get trapped in the Seelie Court. All "nighttime" meant to me was that I was tired and there were no lamps in my room. So basically it just meant it was dark. A green glow emanated from the curtain and died within a few feet of it. Other than that, the room was entirely black._

_My hand automatically moved to the shelf beside my bed where my stele and witchlight were kept but I couldn't find them. Why did I need them?_

_In the farthest corner of the room, I heard a slight scuffle, like someone moving their foot slightly after standing for a long time. _

_"_Light_," I said, pronouncing the runes that are carved into witchlights. The effect was odd. It wasn't exactly that I'd managed to create a light in my room, more that I'd made the darkness less dark. It wasn't a huge difference, but it was enough._

_One side of his mouth tugged up in a smile. "No one can sneak up on you."_

_"Why would you think you needed to?" I asked, scrambling out of bed and nearly falling in the process. I am so graceful, everyone wants to date me._

_"Is this how you always dress here?" Jace asked. Even if I hadn't been looking at him, I could've heard his smirk._

_I glanced down at myself and the light green nightgown I was wearing. "You mean in green? Yeah, the Queen kind of has a thing about green…"_

_"Not what I meant," he said and stepped closer and the next moment he was holding me._

_I had missed him so much. I buried my face in his neck. He was so warm and real and human. Even after months, he still felt exactly the same. Except he was…_

_"Taller," I said, stepping back suddenly. "You're taller."_

_"No I'm not," said not-Jace. It was Alec. I was talking to Alec. _

_I'd hugged Alec?_

_"But, you were Jace!" This wasn't possible. How could this be possible?_

_"Now when have I ever been Jace?" Simon asked. Because it was Simon. _

_"Simon?" I was still tired, okay? So maybe I was a bit slow on the uptake. _

_"Did you miss me, Jaci?" There was something subtly different about his voice. It was silkier than it had ever been before and his glasses were missing. _

_Of course. "You're a vampire now."_

_"You're just as observant as your boyfriend," Simon sneered. "But, I can't exactly call you a copy of him, now can I? No, you're different." _

_Somehow, I'd managed to end up with my back against the wall and Simon towering over me. "What do you mean," I hedged terribly._

_"This light, Jaci," he said softly. "You shouldn't be able to do that. It's _wrong_, like you. And like me."_

_"Simon, you're not wrong," I argued. I could feel my heart pounding. "You're just different now and we'll figure something out!"_

_"No," he spat. "Vampires, werewolves, faeries, Shadowhunters, they're different. You and me? We're wrong, Jaelyn Flynn. I would've been different but you made me wrong. Now neither of us belongs. We both break the laws of existence and do you honestly think anyone's going to be happy about that?"_

_He took a step back from me and I was now faced with a figure that had brilliantly blonde hair and black eyes. This new figure gazed around at the lessened darkness I'd created and laughed._

_"You're Valentine's great plan for salvation?" he scoffed. "You're the bright future for the Shadowhunters? You can't even turn on a light, little girl. How do you expect to win a war? Oh? Didn't anyone tell you about the war?" _

_He reached for my face and I tried to move away, only succeeding in hitting my head against the wall behind me. His fingers felt icy and I could feel one of his nails digging in just below my ear._

_"Because war _is _coming, little girl. You've made sure of that and you have no one but yourself to blame. Don't worry, though," his smile was terrible, "I'll make sure you survive. Atrocities like us are awfully rare and terribly valuable. I know someone who would pay dearly for you."_

_Somehow, I found a dagger in my hand and without thinking, I'd buried it in his chest, the hilt sticking out over where his heart ought to be. I glanced up at his face and in horror found myself looking into Jace's golden eyes._

_"It's not your fault," he gasped and then fell to the floor._

_"Jace!" I pulled the dagger free, trying to ignore the amounts of blood, and began speaking rapidly, but the words were only English. They did nothing_

_Someone was laughing behind me. _

_"I was wrong," said the black eyed boy. He was using Simon's voice. "There is someone who's happy that you break the laws of existence after all. In fact, he's so happy, it will kill him."_

_And Jace grew cold in my arms._

* * *

><p><strong>All right, so obviously it's a short, dramatic chapter. And I really wasn't planning this out, it just sort of happened so PLEASE let me know what you think! Did you love it? Hate it? Or love to hate it? Maybe I'll hold the next chapter for ransom...?<strong>


	23. Nuanced

**Let's just take a moment to appreciate the length of this chapter. That is all.**

* * *

><p>I had a bad feeling. Something awful was about to happen, or was happening and I could tell. Or maybe something awful had just happened and I just couldn't tell what. Or remember it. It wasn't like before when Simon had been nearly killed, this was just a sort of uneasiness. <em>Something wasn't right<em>.

Maybe it was just that I'd managed to muck up the whole storyline? I was too tired to understand anything, I _had _only just gotten out of bed. And I had a terrible headache.

"There is something wrong with you," Caelia stated brusquely before I even had a chance to open the Gray Book to where we'd left off the previous day.

I shrugged. "I think I had a bad dream but I don't remember."

"Think?" she didn't sound impressed. "You know how to fix that and know for sure. By the way, you scratched yourself with a hairpin by your ear."

"And this," I said, gently laying a finger on the scratch, "is why I think hairpins are stupid."

"Tell your hair it ought to behave itself then" Caelia suggested with smallest hint of a smile. "If it would stay in the braid, you wouldn't need hairpins."

"Obviously the braid thing's not working," I muttered.

The dainty faerie flipped open the large green Gray Book resting on the table before me. "We'll review the remembrance rune again," she declared. "Dreams can be meaningful, so it's important that you remember yours."

I glanced at the rune for half a second. "_Remember_." I kept the idea of a dream prominent in my mind, so that I wouldn't just remember any old thing.

It worked.

Flawlessly.

"Caelia," my voice was shaking, "I need to see the Queen. Immediately."

* * *

><p>It didn't seem right. Well, of course it didn't, he was trapped in a warlock's apartment. Jace sighed heavily and moved to stand in front of the offending bookshelf. It was an absolute disaster. How could anyone stand to live in so much disorganization?<p>

He had just finished straightening one row of books when Magnus swooped in and chased him back towards the center of the room.

"If you don't stop touching my things," he warned Jace, "I will personally turn you into a clam."

"A clam?" Jace wasn't impressed. "Out of all your options, you'd pick a clam?"

With a snap, the books all moved back to their original positions. "Clams don't have prying little hands that can touch my stuff."

"I have spent the last day staring at your stuff," Jace argued. "The chaos hurts my eyes."

"It's not my job to keep you entertained," Magnus said with a flippant tone. "Now I'm busy, so don't touch my things and don't disturb me." He paused for a moment before snapping his fingers and causing a small television to appear in a corner of the room. "Watch whatever you want. Some people still have work to do."

Jace waited until he was sure Magnus wasn't about to pop back in before going to his duffle bag and pulling out a book. He'd only ever had short opportunities to glance at it but now he was determined to read it. He turned the book over in his hands. It was a simple cover, solid black except for the title printed on the spine, _City of Ashes_.

With a strange feeling in his stomach, he flipped through the pages until he found the prologue.

_The formidable glass-and-steel structure rose from its position on Front Street like a glittering needle threading the sky._

There wasn't anything strange about that opening sentence. In fact, this book, he told himself, could really be about anything. He'd imagined the section about the Silent City. It didn't make any sense that this book… he decided to keep reading.

The scene being set was of a demon being summoned by a warlock being paid by a man named Valentine.

Jace's heart was pounding as he turned to the first chapter and began reading a scene he had once lived.

_"Are you still mad?"_

_Alec, leaning against the wall of the elevator, glared across the small space at Jace. "I'm not mad."_

_"Oh, yes you are." Jace gestured accusingly at his –_

Everything was the same except Jaci wasn't there. And, he realized as he continued reading, in the book, he was in love with Clary.

* * *

><p>A sharp ringing noise cut through the apartment, causing Jace to jump and snap the book closed. It was now dark outside, he'd finished the story an hour ago but had been going back through and rereading portions so that he could commit them to memory. It took him a moment to realize that the noise was his own phone.<p>

"Hello?" Of course, he knew who it would be even without checking.

"Jace?" asked a girl's voice. "It's Clary."

He'd been expecting Simon.

"What?" he snapped.

"It's a werewolf friend of mine," she explained, "Maia. She's been attacked by a demon."

"What kind of demon?"

"Um, a Drevak, Luke said." Clary paused for breath. "There's poison in her."

Jace mentally shifted through the information he knew about Drevak demons. Even a Shadowhunter would need more than a healing rune with demon poison running through them. "Get the spines out of the wound. I'll be there as soon as I can."

He ended the call, shoved his phone in his pocket, snatched some gear from his bag and went to find Magnus.

* * *

><p>"If you keep me here, I'll go insane."<p>

The Queen didn't look as though she believed me, or maybe she just kind of always used that expression with me.

"Besides," I continued since she didn't seem to be about to say anything, "if you want to use me as an ambassador to the Clave, don't you think you should, well, let me interact with members of the Clave? I'll come back, of course but I feel like I've been here for months. I don't know about you, but I really need to see the sky sometimes. Also!" I was on a roll and not about to be stopped. "You're going to kill me by keeping me in here all the time. I'll die faster in less real-world time."

That got a response. "You will not. You will always age with the real-world time, as you chose to call it."

"So that takes care of one issue," I admitted. "But I'm swear _by the Angel_ that I will completely lose my sanity if you continue keeping me here like you have. I've already started having hallucinations."

"And what is your demand?" There was a slight smile hovering around the Queen's mouth. I hated that look. She used it when she wanted to intimidate someone, but it had stopped working on me a month ago.

"I want to be able to see my friends. When I want."

"Very well," she said. "Caelia!"

My personal babysitter popped forward.

"Make sure she is properly dressed."

* * *

><p>"I think we should knock first," Alec suggested. He'd been at the front door when Jace and Magnus were about to leave.<p>

Jace just snorted and threw the door open to Luke's house and marched in. He froze.

Clary was perched on the coffee table with a dagger pointed towards an injured girl on the couch with Simon cowering behind her. The moment her eyes fell on Jace, she straightened up and hid the knife behind her back.

"We had an incident," she said in a high pitched voice. "I took care of it."

Jace decided not to answer and instead stepped aside for Alec and Magnus to enter the room.

"I didn't hurt anyone," Clary protested to no one.

"She stabbed the couch," muttered the injured girl. Jace realized that this must be Maia.

Simon moved forwards cautiously. "I think she's getting worse."

Magnus cleared his throat. When Simon didn't move, he snapped, "Get out of the way, mundane." He threw his coat dramatically as he crossed the room to crouch by Maia's side. "I'm Magnus Bane," he said, displaying a wonderful bedside manner. "I'm the warlock who's here to cure you."

"I know who you are," mumbled his patient. "You look so… so... _shiny._"

Jace glanced around the room. "Luke's not here. Where is he?"

"He's outside-"

Jace didn't give Simon a chance to finish. He rushed to the door and looked out. Everything was, unfortunately, as he expected. Luke's truck was idling in the driveway with its lights off with no driver in sight.

"I'm going to look for him," Jace announced. "Alec, stay here and keep the house secure."

"I'm coming with you." Clary moved to follow him but Jace put his arm across the doorway, blocking her way outside.

"No," he said, "you're not."

"You have no right to stop me."

An image of Jaci flashed through Jace's mind. "I have _every _right to stop you, darling sister. Or have you forgotten?" He turned to go out onto the porch.

Clary followed him.

"What do you think you're doing?" Jace asked, whirling to face her, using his full height to tower over her.

She held her head up defiantly. "Coming with you."

"No." He wasn't allowing this to be discussed. "I promised Jaci I'd keep you safe and I can't…" A small, tiny detail he'd read occurred to him. He seized her wrist and pulled up her sleeve to look at her forearm. It was completely bare without a trace of the strange rune that appeared in the book. That meant that if Clary _did_ go outside where they _would _be attacked by demons, there would be nothing to protect her but her own flailing attempts to use a knife. "You're staying here."

He didn't bother to wait and see if she stayed behind or not, they were wasting time.

"There's his truck," Simon said, having followed Jace outside, "but where's Luke?"

"Excellent question, bloodsucker," Jace snapped at him. "Now stay inside."

Clary stepped out of the doorway to stand beside Simon as Jace ran off towards the truck.

"I think I liked 'mundane' better than 'bloodsucker,'" Simon muttered to her.

Clary tried her best to give him a smile. "With Jace, you don't really get to choose your insulting nickname. Come on." She held her dagger up in front of her. "Unless you're staying behind?"

"Clary," Simon protested, though he followed her anyways, "Jace will be fine on his own."

"Seriously, Simon?" she snapped. "You're a vampire now!" She pulled her witchlight out of her pocket and approached the spot where Jace was crouched beside Luke's truck, examining the grass.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Jace wasn't shouting, but the deadly calm of his voice was almost worse.

Clary, however, chose to ignore it. Sometimes Jace needed help to and besides, Luke was her uncle. "Have you found anything?"

"I haven't had a chance to look," Jace snapped. "I'm being followed by a mundie and a useless vampire."

She opened her mouth to snap back at him, but a flicker of movement caught her eye. Some horrible _thing _had moved off by the river bank.

"Look!" she cried. "By the water!"

Jace took off like a rocket in the direction she'd pointed. The movement Clary had seen belonged to a pair of demons that were crouched over the still form of Luke.

Of course, Jace wasn't surprised.

"Are those the same things that attacked Maia?" Simon asked, wide eyed.

"No. These are Raum demons and they're much worse." Jave took in the pair of scaly, tentacle-armed beasts. "Stay back," he advised and then launched himself towards the demons.

Clary stared in horror at the scene before her, watching Jace wrestle with one of the demons, trying to avoid its tentacles and the black ichor that flowed from the creature's wounds. They were perilously close to the water's edge…

"Clary, watch out!" Simon shouted as the second demon lunged straight towards her.

She forgot entirely about her knife and flung her arms up in front of her to attempt to block the demon, but it did no good. The awful thing barreled into her, knocking her backwards. She landed painfully on the uneven ground, striking her shoulder painfully. The demon's tentacles were around her neck, tightening, and she was helpless to stop it.

And then Clary heard a voice. She couldn't understand a single word it said, she just knew that she liked what the voice was saying. The words were beautiful and made her feel both happy and afraid. But it wasn't the same sort of fear she'd felt when encountering the demon. This kind of fear was just knowing that the words, whatever the voice was saying, were incredibly powerful.

She realized then that her eyes had been closed and she opened them to see a figure standing above her and the demon nowhere in sight. The figure's back was to her and whoever it was wore a cloak that made it impossible for Clary to tell who it was. But the voice was definitely coming from the figure and the longer she listened, the more familiar the voice was.

"Jaci?" Clary asked, unable to fully believe it.

Her older sister turned to look at her. "Thank the Angel, you're still alive."

Jaci dropped down by her side and immediately began checking Clary over for injuries. "Are you hurt? Did it break your skin anywhere?"

"How did you do that?" Clary asked, dazed. "Where did you come from?" She hissed in pain as Jaci helped her sit up.

"First I'll draw an _iratze _for you and then, once everyone's inside, you can ask questions." Jaci worked while she spoke, pulling out a stele – Clary noted vaguely that it looked almost green – and drawing healing runes.

"Get away from her!" shouted a voice.

Jaci looked in time to see Simon charging towards her, wielding a length of pipe.

"Hit me with that, Simon, and I will end you," Jaci said in a calm voice, rising to her feet and dramatically lowering her hood.

Simon stopped dead in his tracks, letting his weapon fall to his side. "Jaci?"

"Who were you expecting?" she joked.

Jace was the next to appear on the scene. He had black demon blood smeared on his clothes and skin and he was panting. "What happened?" he asked, eyes racking the riverbank for the demon, not even noticing that there was an extra person standing there. "Where'd it go?"

"It dove into the river," Jaci said, staring intensely at him though he still didn't notice. "I don't think I managed to kill it, just chase it off."

"Clary," he sounded furious, "I told you to…" But he trailed off as his eyes fell at last on Jaci. "Jaci?"

She shot him a half smile. "Surprise."

He took a moment to take in her appearance. It had only been a day since he'd last seen her but she looked noticeably different. It was almost as though she were taller, and she was dressed differently than he'd ever seen her. Her long hair was pulled back in a complicated braid with a few strands coming lose near her face. A slim, silver circlet rested on her brow and instead of a jacket, she wore a dark green cloak. Her actual clothing looked like a strange cross between Shadowhunter gear and something Isabelle would wear. Overall, the effect was pretty intimidating.

Jace wanted to take her in his arms and hold her forever, but he resisted. "We need to get Luke inside, he's hurt."

Both Jaci and Clary nodded curtly and immediately took off towards where Luke still lay by the edge of the water.

"I can't believe it," Simon muttered to Jace, letting the pipe fall from his hand.

Jace frowned at the length of pipe. "Where did you get that?"

Simon looked surprised, as though he hadn't even realized he'd been holding a pipe. "I wrenched it off the side of a telephone pole. I guess you can do anything when your adrenaline is up."

"Or when you have the unholy strength of the damned," Jace pointed out.

Wisely, Simon decided not to respond to Jace's comment. "So Jaci. She looks different."

"She's still Jaci," Jace snapped. He didn't know why Simon's comment bothered him so much, just that it did and so he went over to assist the girls in getting Luke into the house.

Magnus was waiting on the front porch as Jace and Simon hauled Luke up the steps. The warlock wordlessly led the way inside, gesturing to the now empty couch; Maia had been put up in Luke's room.

Jaci hung back, near the door and mostly out of sight as the room broke into a flurry of activity as Magnus began healing Luke with his blue magic. She glanced down at her hands and saw they were smeared with Luke's blood. Staying quiet, so as not to distract Magnus, she removed her cloak, left it draped on an armchair, and made her way to the bathroom to wash up. She wasn't going to be any help standing anxiously in a corner.

Jace saw her leave the room and discreetly followed after her. He heard running water in the bathroom and knocked softly at the door. It opened immediately.

"Jace." Her voice was soft as she grabbed his hand and pulled him into the bathroom. She'd left the sink running. "Sit down," she instructed, grabbing a washcloth and wetting it in the sink.

"It's nice to see you, too." Despite the terrible things that had happened already that evening, he couldn't help but smile as he took a seat on the edge of the tub.

She was smiling, too, as she began to gently wash the ichor off his face. "You always, I mean _always_ have blood on you."

Jace grinned, knowing that she was quoting him. "It's not mine."

"If it were yours," she started in a threatening tone, "I'd have to kill you. Tilt your head back."

Jace did as she instructed and sat patiently while she cleaned the demon blood off his neck.

"There," she said at last. "I got most of it off, but it'd probably be best if you still showered anyway."

He nodded in agreement though neither of them moved. He still sat on the edge of the tub and she stood in front of him, still clutching the now filthy cloth.

"How long has it been?" Jace asked quietly.

Jaci raised her hand as though to touch his hair or his face, but she hesitated. "Months. It's been months, Jace." Her hand dropped to her side.

He reached forward to grab her hand. He held it in his lap, tracing the lines of her palm gently. "I'm so sorry."

She pulled out of his grip and deposited the soiled washcloth in the sink. "It isn't _your _fault. Besides, I asked her to make the time move faster. The sooner I learn everything the Queen wants me to, the sooner I can leave," she explained. "But," she bit her bottom lip, looking at him through the mirror, "it's been awful. I've started having these dreams that don't make sense. I think I might be going insane."

He could see how concerned she was. Silently, he rose to his feet and stood behind her, facing the mirror. Jace wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her close. Her scent was familiar and comforting.

Jaci relaxed into his embrace. "I missed you."

Jace nuzzled her neck, gaining himself the reward of her smile. "I'm glad you're back."

She turned around in his embrace and wrapped her arms around his neck. "We could slow dance," she pointed out, one corner of her mouth turned up.

"I'm going to kiss you now," he said.

"Not if I kiss you first," Jaci pointed out and then went on tiptoe to press her lips to his.

* * *

><p>Months. It had been months since I'd so much as <em>seen <em>him. Well, it'd actually only been a day in real time, but it'd been months for me.

"Time," he gasped, breaking the kiss briefly. "How much time?"

"Huh?" I asked attractively.

Jace gently tapped the silver circlet that I still wore. "How long before you have to go back?"

"Tomorrow."

He raised his eyebrows and smirked. "So you're here all night?"

"I'll hit you."

But he just kissed me again. They were playful, quick kisses that made me giggle.

"Jace!"

He'd moved on to kisses along my jaw.

"Jace, stop! Stop!"

He nuzzled my cheek before backing up half a step. He was smiling and looking adorable. "I'm really glad to see you."

"Trust me, I'm glad to see you, too," I assured him, "but right now, we should go check and see how Luke is doing. It's been a while, Magnus should be done by now, right?"

Jace suddenly grew somber again and cleared his throat. "Right. Let's go."

Clary's eyes followed us the instant we entered the room. "Luke's going to be fine," she said. The poor girl sounded exhausted.

I nodded to show that I'd heard what she'd said.

"And you're sure he'll live?" Simon asked an exhausted looking Magnus.

The warlock was slumped in the chair I'd left my cloak on, eyes closed, smoking a blue cigarette.

"Yes, I'm sure," he said tersely. "I'm the High Warlock of Brooklyn; I know what I'm doing." Magnus opened his cat-like eyes so that the fell on Jace, somehow still managing to not notice me. "Which reminds me that I'm not exactly sure what it is you think you're doing, calling on me every time one of you has so much as an ingrown toenail that needs clipping. As High Warlock, my time is valuable. There are plenty of lesser warlocks who'd be happy to do a job for you at a greatly reduced rate."

Clary let out an audible gasp. "You're _charging _us? But Luke is a friend!"

"Not a friend of mine," Magnus pointed out. "I met him only on the few occasions when your mother brought him along when your memory spells were being refreshed. Did you think I was helping you out of the goodness of my heart? Or am I just the only warlock you happen to know?"

I could _feel _Jace getting tense beside me. "No, but-" he cut himself off.

"Magnus." It was my turn to step up. "You're the only warlock we're friends with. That's why we keep bothering you, but if it's payment you want, I do have the resources of the Seelie Court to back me up."

He stared blankly at me. "My Shadowhunter! Why did no one tell me you were here? This is wonderful! Now I don't have to keep towing around Loverboy. I don't know how you stand it, he's either cleaning and moving all my stuff around or being obnoxious."

"I can't, Magnus." I sighed. I had one night to be back with my friends and I didn't want to waste it trying to explain everything to everyone. "The Queen hasn't let me go completely; she expects me back tomorrow."

Magnus raised one sparkling eyebrow and cast a look between Jace and myself. "Just one night together and you're wasting your time talking?"

Now it was my turn to get tense. "I don't like what you're implying, warlock," I snapped. "You have no business commenting on anyone's relationships unless they're dangerously unhealthy. I know you think you're so damn clever with your little comments and insinuating things but it's just rude! Honestly! And yes, I'm probably a lot more upset about this than I should be but I'm a _little bit on edge from being locked up underground for months! _If you want to make jokes about someone's relationships, why don't you make them about yours and Alec's?"

And that, my friends, is an example of going much too far. I immediately looked towards Alec, regretting my outburst.

"Why would you say something like that?" he hissed in an unsteady voice.

Jace frowned. "Alec, it's fine that you're dating Magnus."

The blue eyed boy displayed a perfect example of a jaw twitch. "We're not dating."

"Oh?" Magnus asked. "So you're just this friendly with everybody, is that it?"

"_Magnus_." Alec was pleading and I desperately wanted to remove everyone from the room so that the warlock and the awkward Shadowhunter could have some privacy.

"Alec," Jace stepped towards his parabatai, "it's fine. It's all fine. I don't care!"

Alec turned a terrible shade of grey. In an attempt to be comforting, Jace had said what was literally the worst thing possible given the situation.

"I really don't care," Jace repeated.

Magnus had an awful, humorless smile on his face. "Oh, I think he believes you about that."

"Drop it," Clary said before anyone else could speak. "Just let it alone."

"Let what alone?" It was Luke, wonderful, not dead Luke.

"Luke!" Clary and I shouted in unison, both rushing forward to crouch by the side of the sofa.

"Do you remember what happened?" Clary asked as I said, "How do you feel?"

Luke gave me a look that was clearly supposed to mean "How do you think I feel?" before responding the Clary's inquiry. "Not really. The last thing I remember was going out to the truck. Something hit my shoulder and jerked me sideways. I remember the most incredible pain – Anyway, I must have passed out after that. The next thing I knew I was listening to six people arguing. What was all that about, anyway?"

"Nothing," we all chorused innocently.

"I see…"


	24. Death of a Proposal

**Please let me say how much I appreciate everyone who takes the time to look at this story. Honestly, it means a lot to me and sometimes I get all teary eyed and just... you lot make my happy and I love you all and if you ever want someone to chat with, definitely consider me an option because you are all beautiful people and I wish I knew you better!**

* * *

><p>"… and now the Queen is training me to be her ambassador to the Clave," I finished explaining, conveniently leaving out the whole I-can-do-magic part of the story. "The only reason I get to be here now is that I'm presenting myself at the Institute tomorrow."<p>

"I don't like it," Luke announced. He yawned massively before continuing. "Why do the Fey need a Shadowhunter?"

"I don't really know," I admitted.

Suddenly, Simon leaped to his feet. Earlier, between Luke waking up and me telling my story, Simon and Clary had disappeared for a bit and when they'd reappeared, everything felt a tad awkward. So I guess it wasn't that surprising when Simon made a lame excuse about having to get home and left, being chased down by Clary.

Alec quickly followed Simon's leave and left. The rest of us, however, seemed to be spending the night.

Clary excused herself and went off to bed almost the moment she stepped back inside from speaking with Simon. Luke, utterly spent, was soon asleep on the couch and Magnus was still glowering about the whole Seelie Court situation so when Jace suggested that we could go sit out in the back yard, I jumped at the opportunity.

The night air was slightly chilly and I found myself wishing I'd brought my cloak, as much as I hated the stupid thing. Jace sat down on the edge of the porch and I perched next to him, hoping to steal some of his warmth.

"Isabelle thinks she might have found a way to break the Seelie Queen's claim on you," he announced without preface.

My heart stuttered for half an instant. "She does?"

Jace seemed uneasy. He wasn't fidgety, but abnormally still as if he were concentrating very hard on his breathing. "It's a crazy idea and we don't know if it'll work. We're still looking and I want you to know that this is _not _my idea and that I'm only mentioning it because it's a singular possibility."

I linked my arm through his. "It can't be that bad."

"Marriage," he blurted out. "We could get married."

What.

"But we're seventeen," I pointed out. "We can't get married."

He visibly relaxed beside me. "Exactly."

The city sounds were all around us, the lights flooding the sky and creating a permanent, artificial dawn. I wanted to see stars. It then occurred to me that I wanted to see the stars from Idris someday. Maybe not tomorrow, or next week, but sometime in the future. And maybe, just maybe, Jace would be with me the first time I saw those stars.

"Jaci?" His voice was low.

In response, I just slipped my hand into his and leaned against him.

"I love you," Jace said quietly.

My heart raced and my face felt hot and I found myself smiling hopelessly. "Jace?"

He turned to look at me.

"I love you, too."

He grinned at me and laughed, almost nervously. It was the first time I'd ever seen Jace without any façade. There was something wonderful and brilliant about that smile and there was even a touch of shyness in it and I could feel my heart melting into a puddle. _This _was Jace. This was the person Jace would've been without an abusive father, the person he really was.

"You know," he said after a moment, "there was a part of me that thought you wouldn't say it back."

"Because obviously I hate everything about you," I said sarcastically.

"Shh…" Jace put his free hand over my mouth. "You'll spoil it."

"Spoil what?" I mumbled through his fingers.

"The moment."

"I will bite you," I attempted to say, but it came out all jumbled.

He laughed. "What was that?" He took his hand away from my mouth so I took the opportunity to kiss him.

"Nothing." I grinned at him.

His smile slowly faded and his expression grew serious. "Jaci, there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about."

He was taking this new topic more seriously than when he'd half-suggested we get married. I was concerned.

"I found something… of yours." Jace turned his attention to my hand that was still in his. "And I can't say that I understand it… and I don't know what to think. Honestly, I'm not sure if I shouldn't turn you in to the Clave."

I think my heart stopped for a moment, and not in a good way.

"I found a book." His eyes were on mine now. "It has everything that's happened recently in it, and it goes into the future, too. It's even right, I've been paying attention.

"But want to know the weirdest thing about this book? Everyone is in it, except you. _That _is where things get off. You don't exist in the book. So I just want to know, where the hell did it come from? Why do you have it? Why aren't you in it? And most importantly, why the hell am I in love with Clary in it?"

I don't know why I did what I did then except that maybe I was just afraid. Instead of answering any of his questions, I started speaking in Seraphtongue (that's what I'd decided to call the weird language thing I could do). It was a long speech, and complicated. Jace didn't interrupt, not like he could, though. It was magic.

At the end of it, he stared at me blankly for a second before saying, "Isabelle thinks she might have found a way to break the Seelie Queen's claim on you."

It had worked. I'd completely blocked Jace's memories of anything to do with the book and in doing so, had erased our conversation from earlier.

"Is that so?" I blinked rapidly to keep any tears from falling.

I'd managed to erase the part where Jace told me he loved me, too.

"It's a crazy idea and we don't know if it'll work. We're still looking and I want you to know that this is _not _my idea and that I'm only mentioning it because it's a singular possibility."

"It can't be that bad." I already knew what it was.

"Marriage," he blurted out. "We could get married."

"But we're seventeen," I pointed out. "We can't get married."

He visibly relaxed beside me. "Exactly." And then he tensed up again. "Exactly!" He grabbed my face and kissed me quickly. "I have to go!"

* * *

><p>"You want me to let you borrow the key to my apartment?" Magnus didn't sound amused.<p>

I kept my face calm. "I left a bag of my stuff there," I explained.

He sighed but handed me a small key and I was on my way. Except something was nagging at the back of my mind.

Oh, right. Valentine's ship. Was that where Jace had run off to? There was a part of me that wanted to check but I reminded myself that I'd already done enough poking around in Jace's life and that I really should never do any more. Ever. Again. So I only went to Magnus's apartment, grabbed my bag I'd left there and the copy of _City of Ashes_ Jace had managed to snag and left again only after taking a moment to redraw the runes for a glamour on my arm.

I could've said the runes aloud, but the glamour wouldn't've been as strong. That was the weird thing about this whole speaking-silent-languages, well, aside from all the other weird stuff. Some of the things I could do with runes worked better than using a stele but others didn't. And speaking the runes was a lot more complicated than just simply drawing them. An opening rune applied to a door would effectively open the door. In order for me to get the same effect, I would have to rattle off a paragraph. And it would leave me tired. Caelia had explained that to me; Shadowhunters draw on the strength and power of angels channeled through steles when they write the runes but in order to speak the runes, the power was channeled through me which took some of my own strength, too.

Whatever Valentine had been trying to accomplish, I think this particular experiment had failed.

By the time I was back to Luke's, the lights inside were all off, despite the fact that it wasn't that late. I figured that meant Jace wasn't back yet from wherever he'd run off to.

I let myself in and locked the door behind me, slipping Magnus's key into a pocket of his sparkling cloak. Apparently cloaks were in.

And then, in the dark, it occurred to me that there really wasn't a place for me to sleep. Luke was on the couch, Magnus had claimed the loveseat, Clary would be in the guest bedroom, and Maia was in Luke's room. Wonderful. I mean, I didn't feel like sleeping anyway.

Lies.

* * *

><p>Jace had two stops planned for the evening. The first was the Institute. He needed to talk to Isabelle and he needed to pick up something.<p>

It was extraordinarily easy to make it to his adopted sister's room without encountering any of the other inhabitants of the Institute. And fortunately, Isabelle was in her room.

"Jace!" she said in surprise. "I thought you were at Magnus's," she hissed in a much quieter voice.

"Luke's," he corrected. "And I was. But Jaci's there now so-"

"_Jaci's free?!_"

"Keep your voice down, would you?" He glanced up and down the hallway to make sure no one had heard. "And no, she's not. Not really."

"Did you talk to her about, well, getting married?" Isabelle stepped aside so that Jace could come in her room.

"Yes, we both said no."

"That's so romantic," Isabelle said sarcastically, throwing herself dramatically on her bed.

"But Jaci said something very valid. She pointed out that we're both seventeen."

She waited for him to continue. "So?"

"Isabelle, seventeen is less than eighteen. And you're sixteen."

"I'm completely missing your point here."

Jace just stared at her, trying to will her into understanding.

"Do you… want me to marry Jaci?" she asked at length. "I mean, she is really nice and everything, but I don't bat for that team and she only bats for your team."

He wasn't amused. "I'm being serious now."

"All right, then tell me what I need to do."

* * *

><p>After getting everything settled with Isabelle, Jace had to travel to the roof of the Institute in order to get his motorcycle. It was late enough that everyone was already asleep.<p>

Jace hadn't ridden a cycle since the weather had changed, and he was caught short by the icy wind. He shivered, glad that at least he had worn leather gloves to protect his hands, despite the fact that the rest of his body was freezing.

He knew it was an awful idea even before he'd decided to do it. Jaci was out of the Seelie Court for one night – the first night in months for her – but her visiting was a daily occurrence. He was glad to see her and all, but it was so strange with her feeling like they'd been apart for days and him feeling that it was only hours. It only proved to him that they had to get her away from the Fey permanently. In the meanwhile, Jace shoved aside his guilt at running out on her and focused on the task at hand.

He knew where Valentine was. He'd tortured it out of the demon he'd then killed and now he was on his way to snoop around and maybe even see what his father's plan was. It didn't take him long to find the ship the demon had told him about, it was after all the only ship on the river that shimmered with glamour.

He braked and drifted carefully downward until the bike touched down on the deck of the great metal ship. This was the one.

And it was a large ship painted entirely black, even the windows. Altogether, it gave off a rather threatening feel. Leaving the bike, he started a slow circuit around the deck, wondering if Valentine was even there.

But he figured the best place to look for Valentine would be inside. He found a door with two blacked out windows and tried the handle. It was locked. He drew an opening rune and the door swung open, protesting from years of disuse. Reaching for his witchlight, he stepped through the doorway only to have the door slam shut behind him, leaving him in complete darkness.

He pulled out his witchlight and it flared to life, illuminating the metal space he'd stepped into. But he wasn't alone. A cloaked figure stood just a few paces away from him with its back to him. The air was freezing cold and Jace had a terrible feeling about this entire situation. And then the figure turned around. It was Jaci.

She was dressed exactly the same as when he'd last seen her in a loose fitting white shirt with dark green leather-like armor overtop, sturdy but lightweight boots, and her flowing green cloak. In her hand she loosely held a dagger he recognized as his own. As he stared, he realized there was blood dripping of the blade and onto the floor… and that her white shirt was quickly turning dark red from a gaping wound in her chest.

Her lips twitched into a smile and a trickle of dark red stood out against her pale skin. "It- I'm sorry..." She took a step forward and sank to the ground, breathing shallow and quick. She was panicking.

Jace knelt beside her, filled with a terror worse than any he'd ever experienced. Jaci had almost been free, and now she was dying.

"Don't you dare!" he warned her, seizing a handful of her cloak to apply pressure to the wound.

"I'm dying." He could hear the fear in her voice and that made it so much worse. Jaci had stared death in the face – in fact one of the first times he'd seen her, she had been about to die and she'd been snarky and silly – not once had she been afraid. But now she was terrified and there was nothing he could do.

"No, you're not," he scolded, knowing it was a lie. It was too late, no _iratze _would work for her. He found he couldn't tear his gaze away from the trickle of blood at the corner of her mouth.

She drew one more ragged breath and then grew still.

"No!" As if shouting would bring her back. This couldn't happen. He put his mouth over hers, filling her lungs with his air, but it did no good. Her eyes stared lifelessly into the darkness. "Damnit, Jaci!"

Suddenly, her body convulsed and her eyes found his. They were a terrible, glowing white. And then Jace knew no more.

* * *

><p><strong>I've decided to start respond to reviews because I owe you all so much so at the end of each chapter I'll do that. Skip it if you want, or read it. Whatever floats your boat!<strong>

**Innocent Fangs: Thank you so much! I'm really glad you're enjoying and I am beyond flattered! It's kind of my dream to become a published author...**

**chibichibi98: So... what'd'ya think of Jace and Jaci's talk? And the nightmare comes back in, just you wait!**

** : I'll do my best to keep spoiling you with updates, deal? Also, Jaci hands out snark like it's her business and sometimes people toss it right back.**

**Guest: You really like my writing style? As in, you're 500% not joking? -internally screaming- ThaNK YOU SO MUCH! **

**FOR EVERYONE WHO MAY READ THIS: Please, please, please review even if there's something you didn't like. ****_Especially _****if there's something you didn't like. I could definitely use all the constructive feedback I can get, like I said, I want to be a writer. As in, I'm going to school to become one. No seriously, I'm an English major and I love it. **


	25. Ambassadors and Criminals

I must have fallen asleep at the kitchen table. It was really the only explanation for why it was suddenly less dark outside when I opened my eyes. There was a pain above my right eyebrow from where my circlet had dug into my skin as I slept. Yet another thing to add to my list of reasons I strongly dislike faeries. I took the offending headwear off and turned it over in my hands. It _was _pretty – designed to look like intertwining vines – but it was still a crown thing and I didn't like it.

The rest of the house seemed to be quiet, so I did my best not to wake anyone up on my way to the bathroom. It was incredibly early but there was no use attempting to sleep at the table again, might as well feel like a real human and wear my own clothes again.

Twenty minutes later, I was fully clean and dressed in a cozy long sleeved shirt and a worn pair of skinny jeans. My weird faery outfit was cleaned – as best as I could – and folded neatly in my bag. I would need it later when I had to do the whole official visit to the Institute. In the meanwhile, however, I was going to feel like myself.

As I left the bathroom, I ran into Clary who had just woken up.

"Good morning," I said with more energy than I felt.

"I hope you didn't use all of my soap," was her response.

I laughed. No one had ever called Clary a morning person. "I'll go make some coffee."

As it turned out, Luke wanted coffee too and I played the role of the barista, taking orders and then dropping them off. Once Clary, Luke, and Magnus were all settled in with a mug of bitterness in hand, I found a perch for myself on the coffee table.

"Where's Maia?" Luke asked over his coffee.

"She's asleep in your room, remember?" said Clary. "You said she could have it."

"I don't remember last night all that well," Luke admitted, rubbing his eyes. "I remember going out to the truck and not much after that."

"So, you missed the part about me being kidnapped by the Seelie Queen?" I asked.

Luke stared at me for a moment. "That's a joke, right?"

I flashed a fake smile. "Nope, nope it's not."

"Then how are you here if you've been kidnapped?"

"I'm on leave?" I suggested.

He shook his head slowly as though it would help him understand the five hundred levels of crazy that was everyday life. "What else happened? I'm coming back to you," he added.

"There were demons hiding outside," Clary piped in. "Jace and Jaci took care of them."

"You killed them both?" Luke returned his attention to me.

"Jace killed his, I just sort of… chased mine off." Don't ask why I was still trying to keep the fact that I could do magic a secret, I just was.

"Who chased what?" asked a new voice.

So this was Maia. Gosh, she was pretty. Why did it seem like every single person I met was pretty? Probably because they were.

"Want some coffee?" I offered.

The werewolf girl hesitated for an instant. "Who are you?"

"Jaci," I responded. "Clary's adopted sister."

"Oh, sure. With milk and sugar!" she added.

And like an obedient little child, I trotted off to the kitchen to fetch yet another cup of coffee. Hey, if the demon hunting thing didn't work out for me, at least I could always work at Starbucks, right?

"Well, you did try to kill him," Clary was saying when I reentered the room. "Maybe that's it."

"You tried to kill who?" I asked Maia as I delivered her coffee.

"Simon," she barely whispered. "I'd forgotten. He's a vampire now. I didn't mean to hurt him," she said. "I was just…"

Clary and I waited for her to go on.

"You might want to lie down," Magnus suggested. "I find that helps when the crushing sense of horrible realization sets in."

And the werewolf girl started to tear up. Clary and I exchanged alarmed looks but we were all saved from the awkwardness by the door flying open to admit Jace closely followed by Alec.

"Would it kill you to knock?" I joked.

He flashed me a quick smirk. "Everyone in a good mood, I see," he commented, jerking his head towards Maia. "Keeping up morale?"

"Crap," Maia rubbed at her eyes, "I hate crying in front of Shadowhunters."

"So go cry in another room," Jace suggested.

"What's your problem today?" I snapped. He wasn't the only one short on sleep.

But Maia was already on her feet and out into the kitchen.

"What the hell, Jace?" I got to my feet to follow after Maia and see if there was anything I could do.

"Jaci, wait. We need to talk. All of us." He flopped down on the piano bench. "Magnus wants to shout at me, don't you, Magnus?"

The warlock slid his eyes away from Alec to glare at Jace. "Yes. Where the hell were you?"

"I thought Jace had to be here," said Clary. "You switched him out for Jaci so I thought that meant he couldn't leave."

Magnus was positively glowering. "Normally, yes, but last night, after everything I did, my magic was – depleted."

"And you knew that?" I asked Jace.

He shrugged. "I guessed."

"Where were you all night anyway?" Magnus snapped. "With Alec?"

Jace hesitated momentarily. "No. I went to the Institute and then tried to find Valentine."

The room fell dead silent and I grabbed Maia's untouched coffee and took a huge sip, burning my throat and almost bursting out in a coughing fit.

"Well," Luke said finally, "did you?"

Jace nodded. "He has a ship out on the river."

"We have to tell the Inquisitor," Alec said, speaking for the first time.

"Well she's not here right now so that plan will have to wait," I pointed out. "Alec, what's in that box?"

He glanced down at the slightly squashed box he'd been holding under his arm. "Oh! Doughnuts, actually. Does anyone want one?"

While it did seem a little odd and out of character for Alec to be randomly offering doughnuts to anyone, I was not about to turn him down. Nor was anybody else.

"There's one thing I don't get," Luke announced after finishing his doughnut.

Jace said, "Just one thing? You're way ahead of the rest of us."

"The three of you went out after me when I didn't come back to the house." Luke looked at Clary, Jace, and myself.

"Actually, Jace, Clary, and Simon went out looking for you," I pointed out. "I was just getting here when I heard them fighting by the river so I went to investigate."

Luke frowned but let it go. "So there were four of you and two demons but you only killed one. What happened to the other one?"

I shrugged. "It must've valued its life. It just swam off."

"But why would it do that?" Alec asked. "Two of them, four of you – maybe it felt outnumbered?"

"No offense to anyone involved," Magnus drawled, "but the only one among you who seems formidable is Jace. A couple of untrained Shadowhunters and a scared vampire…"

"I am not untrained," I pointed out with perhaps a touch too much sass. "What do you think I've been doing at the Seelie Court? Painting pretty pictures?"

"Then you should've been able to kill it," Magnus pointed out.

I sighed heavily. "It's sort of a long story?" I suggested.

Clary, meanwhile, looked terribly confused. "You were talking to it," she said. "Or did I imagine that part?"

"Have we all forgotten the crazy things Clary can do with a stele?" I looked at everyone in the room in turn. "Remember how she got the Mortal Cup out of a _painting _for goodness sake! And when I was in the Silent City, she managed to blow all of the cells apart, not just mine."

"You remember that?" Clary cut in.

"It's kind of hard to forget that bit." Or… to at least not remember it from having read it in a novel! "Come on, Clary. Think of any time you've done something with runes without any training!"

"Okay, fine," Clary snapped, growing upset by all the attention or something. "But that doesn't make me special!"

"The Seelie Queen, though, she said your gift was of words that cannot be spoken," Jace pointed out.

Clary's eyes went wide. "She meant runes. You're right," she said, turning to me, "I just used a regular opening rune in the Silent City and it didn't just unlock the door, it unlocked the manacles too. I think the Queen meant I can draw runes that are more powerful than ordinary runes. And maybe even create new ones."

Well, I knew she could create new ones but for everyone else in the room, it did seem to come out of absolutely nowhere.

"No one can create new runes," Jace said, voice oozing condescension.

"Maybe she can, Jace," Alec cut in. "It doesn't sound impossible."

Luke looked thoughtful. "Alec's right. Clary, why don't you go and get your sketchbook?"

Clary looked frightened but nodded and went off through the kitchen to fetch her sketchbook. Figuring that she could use some support, I followed after her under the pretense of clearing away and refilling empty coffee mugs.

Maia and Clary were both in the kitchen and they both looked surprised to see me.

"Just getting refills," I said, holding up the mugs. "Ignore me."

"It's all right," Clary comforted Maia. "Jaci's my sister."

Awe, she didn't even add the "adopted" bit in!

"All right," Maia took a deep breath, "look, I'm sorry about what happened with Simon. I was delirious."

"Oh yeah? What happened to all that werewolves are destined to hate vampires business?"

Don't mind me, just getting some coffee…

"We are, but – I guess I don't have to hurry the process along."

"Don't explain it to me; explain it to Simon."

"I don't think he'll want to talk to me."

"Don't say that," I cut in. "At least, not until you've tried."

"He's pretty forgiving," Clary added.

Maia cocked her head to the side. "Not that I want to pry, but are you two going out?"

Little Clary turned red. "Why do you want to know?"

"The first time I met him he referred to you as his best friend, but the second time he called you his girlfriend. I wondered if it was an on-off thing."

"Sort of."

Sort of? It's only an "on-off thing" if you've been "on" or "off" more than once, which in my knowledge, they hadn't.

"It's a long story," Clary admitted.

I raised an eyebrow at her. It really wasn't a long story, she just didn't want to talk about it.

It then occurred to me that I should've just stuck with getting coffee and getting out instead of listening to them banter.

"Well you're lucky, that's all," Maia said to Clary. "Even if he is a vampire now. You must be pretty used to all sorts of weird stuff, being a Shadowhunter, so I bet it doesn't faze you."

"It fazes me," Clary snapped. "I'm not Jace."

"No one is. And I get the feeling he knows it."

Um, what? What sort of strange turn was this conversation about to take.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Clary demanded.

I turned to see Maia as she answered this, very much curious.

"Oh, you know. Jace reminds me of an old boyfriend. Some guys look at you like they want sex. Jace looks at you like you've already _had _sex, it was great, and now you're just friends – even though you want more. Drives girls crazy. You know what I mean?"

Um, what? "Maia…"

"I mean, aside from the fact that he's a complete ass," she continued on, "he is pretty hot-"

"Maia!" I cut her off, trying my best to look annoyed when really I was internally laughing. "Jace and I are dating."

She turned pink. "I'm sorry, I-"

"I should go be a nice hostess," I said, holding up the coffee mugs and trying (and failing) not to laugh.

The atmosphere in the living room had shifted a touch by the time I got back.

"Why did you think it would be a good idea to visit Valentine?" Alec snapped.

"Because I knew he would talk to me," Jace retorted.

"Well, as long as the Inquisitor doesn't know you went," I pointed out. "It should be all right.

Jace made the suggestion that the Inquisitor make an attempt to impregnate herself.

"Jace, that's enough," Luke said in a very firm voice.

Clary chose that moment to make her entrance, successfully disrupting the warpath or whatever Jace was about to hop on.

"I got it," she announced, holding up her sketchpad. "My sketchpad."

"So you think you can draw new runes?" I asked. It wasn't in a mean way, after all I knew that she could. I sat next to her one the floor as she got settled in at the coffee table. I always liked watching her draw, even when she was frustrated and felt that she couldn't draw anything.

"Maybe," she hedged, carefully choosing a pencil. "Remember that night at the hotel?"

"How could we forget," Jace drawled dryly.

I shot him a glare. "You're not helping.

"When we were on the roof, I started to picture a rune. I don't know why or how," she said, cutting off any possible questions, "just that I did. And it wasn't one I recognized so I _think _it might've been something… new."

"Well, how about you try to draw a new rune," Luke suggested gently.

Clary nodded sharply and held her pencil poised and ready. I could hear my heartbeat pounding in my ears. Why was _I _so nervous about this?

We all waited for Clary to move, even in the slightest, but it felt like we were waiting for an eternity before she threw her pencil down.

"I can't just do it on command. Not without an idea! And not with all of you staring!"

"Fearless," I said immediately, ready to get this all over with. There was so much tension in the room, I felt like I was drowning in it. "Try and draw a rune for fearlessness."

I received many looks of concern for that one and an appraising on from Jace.

"What?" I demanded. "Do any of you have a better idea?"

"There are already runes for bravery," Alec argued.

"But is there one for a complete and utter absence of fear?" I countered. "I'm not saying it's a good idea to have in regular use or anything, just that it might be… interesting if it existed."

Jace leaned forward to show his active participation in the conversation. "She's right."

Clary glanced towards me and I nodded reassuringly. She could do this.

"Fearless," she muttered and moved her pencil quickly but cautiously. "Fearless," she said again and now she began to draw with more confidence, as though drawing the rune gave her the property of it, as well.

Was that possible? Once, when I hadn't been paying much attention and at the beginning of my training, I'd said the rune for light and actually made myself luminous. Caelia had told me that it'd happened because I hadn't separated myself from the magic. No one was there to teach Clary and guide her. Was creating new runes even magic? What even were the laws of magic? Besides complicated. It was almost logical, then, that Clary's runes – especially in a situation like this where she thought only of the rune and not what she was applying it to – affected her slightly.

"Done," Clary announced. Her pencil made a rather final sounding snap as she laid it on the table.

"It kind of looks like a bird," I commented.

"Cool," Alec noted.

"But does it work?" Jace asked. "For all we know, you just drew a pretty picture."

Clary looked hurt but I definitely saw Jace's point. It had to be tested first. Even though I knew it was real.

"Clary, I believe you can create new runes," I said. "But we still need to test it out, just to be five hundred percent certain."

"Not satisfied with one hundred percent like the rest of us mere mortals?" Magnus asked, raising his eyebrows at me.

"I like to be very, extra certain," I said. "And you're not a mortal anyways so, put your eyebrows down."

That, of course, only made him raise them further.

"I'll try it," Jace offered, already getting to work taking off his jacket.

Luke stood up. "No. Jace, you already behave as if you've never heard the word 'fear.' I fail to see how we're going to be able to tell the difference if it _does _work on you."

Alec laughed at that and I tried my best not to smile. Luke had a very legitimate point.

"I've heard the word 'fear,'" Jace said with all of his snark fully intact. "I simply choose to believe it doesn't apply to me."

Except I noticed the brief pained expression that crossed his face as everyone else turned their attention to Alec volunteering.

The dark haired Shadowhunter snagged the piece of paper with the rune on it and handed it to Jace. "Here. Mark my arm."

And so we all watched with bated breath as Jace carefully traced the new rune onto his parabatai's arm. I couldn't help but wonder how Jace knew which lines of the rune to draw first. Did it matter? Maybe there was a class on it? How to Draw Runes: 101?

"It's pretty," I commented before Alec could roll his sleeve down self-consciously.

"So how do you feel?" Clary asked him eagerly.

But Alec didn't look very impressed. "I don't feel any different."

"Wow," I said sarcastically. "Sitting in a warm, cozy living room with friends doesn't activate your new fearless rune? Weird, it's almost like there's nothing here to trigger it."

"I don't recall anyone asking for your sass," Magnus pointed out.

"Oh, you don't have to ask. It's a free service."

Luke was looking at me as though I'd somehow managed to sprout an extra appendage. "Have you always been this sarcastic?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

"And why did I never notice before?"

I located the nearest coffee cup – still Maia's from earlier – and took a sip to avoid responding while shrugging innocently at Luke. I knew he was joking with me, though his exhaustion made it all sound rather serious. The truth was, we were all sort of dancing around the matter of Jace having gone to visit Valentine.

Our mass reverie however, was cut short by the ringing of the doorbell.

"See, Jace," I said. "There are some people in the world who know how to ask for permission before barging in."

"Simon?" Clary suggested.

"Daylight," I reminded her.

"Oh, right." She made a face and I internally cringed. "Do you want me to get it, Luke?"

"No, I'm fine. It's probably someone wondering why the bookstore's shut."

Here it was, the moment of truth. Or the moment where everything was about to go crazy seeing as Luke was on his way to open the door which meant that just on the other side was…

Maryse, Isabelle, the Inquisitor, and the man who could only be Robert Lightwood all filed through the door. The Inquisitor looked unfortunately pleased which meant something awful had either just happened, or was about to.

It was like a scene in a play where one character has an aside and the rest all freeze in their positions. Alec was the one with the monologue.

He stepped forward to face his shocked mother and the rest of us stared, almost transfixed.

"Alec, what on earth are you doing here?" Maryse gasped. "I thought I made it clear-"

"Mother. Father. There's something I have to tell you." The poor boy looked genuinely excited. His parents did not. "I'm seeing someone."

"Alec," his father said with an impressively deep voice, "this is hardly the time."

"Yes, it is. This is important. You see, I'm not just seeing anyone. I'm seeing a Downworlder. In fact, I'm seeing a-"

And he dropped to the floor like a load of bricks. I suspected Magnus.

"Alec!" Maryse cried.

But Izzy was already on the scene, dropping down at her brother's side – who was already recovering.

"Wha – what – why am I on the floor?" he asked.

Isabelle looked a touch angry. "That's a good question. What _was _that, brother?"

I got to my feet so that I could help Isabelle get Alec up off the floor. The magic seemed to have made him a little unsteady.

Across the room, Magnus spoke with a pained expression. "Alec's been delirious. Side effects of some demon toxins. Most unfortunate, but he'll be fine soon."

"Demon toxins?"

Congratulations, Magnus. You've managed to freak out an already high-strung, stressed, overprotective mother. What are you gonna do next?

"No one reported a demon attack to the Institute," Maryse continued. "What is going on here, Lucian? This is your house, isn't it? You know perfectly well if there's been a demon attack, you're supposed to report it!"

I quickly stepped in front of her, seeing as she was literally advancing on Luke. "He was injured. So was another werewolf. We figured making sure they survived took precedence over paperwork."

Maryse looked like she was about to argue with me, but never got the chance.

"How very like you, Jaelyn Morgenstern." The Inquisitor had decided to swoop in.

I tried my hardest not to sigh with exasperation. We had been over this. "I'm not a Morgenstern."

"Regardless of what you are," she snapped, "you are now under arrest."

"Why are you taking my Shadowhunter?" Magnus demanded, snapping to attention.

"Do not get involved, warlock," the steel-grey woman warned. "You failed in your duty once; you won't get another chance."

"Failed in my duty?" Magnus demanded. "By bringing her here when I was called to heal her family?"

"No." There was a terrible sort of grin on her face. She seemed to be the only one in the know and she seemed to enjoy it. Was it possible she knew that I'd been at the Seelie Court for the last few days? "After bringing the girl to the Institute, I placed a tracker on her. No sooner were you out of sight then she went off on her own."

Now I was very much confused. I hadn't been back to the Institute since going to Magnus's. Clary, however, looked pale and Magnus appeared to be frozen.

However, he thawed out rather quickly. "That, I'm afraid, is an issue you'll have to take up with the Seelie Queen."

"_What?_" The Inquisitor, Maryse, and Robert all asked simultaneously.

Time to be honest, I guess. "It's true." And to be the object of scrutiny, apparently. All eyes were on me and I desperately wanted to say something clever that would both irritate them and disrupt their intense gazes.

"Explain," ordered the Inquisitor.

"I'm not Valentine's child," I began, "but he did do experiments to me, according to the Queen. Whatever he did, he did with the help of the Fey and in return he was supposed to give them me, but somewhere along the way that plan got disrupted. Valentine never turned me over to the Queen and therefore further betrayed the Seelie Court.

"The Queen was eventually able to find me and – since under faerie law I'm technically her property – bind me to the Court, where I've been for the past few days. It seemed imprudent, at best, to inform the Clave of the situation until any form of certainty had arisen."

I swear, if it were physically possible, the Inquisitor's will would have caused me to spontaneously combust.

"You are not in the position to decide what is prudent and what is not!" she shouted. "You have broken Clave law and are now to be taken into custody and tried in Idris!"

Actually, I'd been prepared for this in one of my many awful lessons. "That would be unwise," I admitted.

She strode forward, clutching her stele menacingly. "No, your actions to betray the Clave were unwise."

"No, really." I backed away from her. "If any harm comes to me – including imprisonment – you will have effectively initiated hostilities between the Clave and the Seelie Court. As the ambassador of the Seelie Queen, I have diplomatic immunity."

She paled.

"I'm their bargaining chip." Even though my heart was pounding, I was able to keep my voice calm. Would she really risk war in order to prove a misguided point?

"Their bargaining chip," she echoed stiffly.

What even. I was counting it as a victory.

"Should you chose to make a move against Valentine, you will have the support of the Fey provided you respect the status of diplomatic immunity to which I am entitled as the Queen's ambassador."

The poor woman looked as though her entire life was a lie.

Unfortunately, she recovered quickly. "Nevertheless, the Seelie Court cannot protect _you_, Jonathan Morgenstern."

Jace didn't respond.

"Oh, didn't think I would know that you went to see your father last night?"

This really wasn't a surprise to everyone sitting in the room.

"Jace _told _us he went to see Valentine," Clary argued.

"So he admits it!" The Inquisitor seemed to be glowing with her new victory even after her recent defeat. "I put a tracking rune on your ridiculous motorcycle," she gloated. "I knew it would pay off."

"Imongen," Robert Lightwood interrupted, "you're saying Valentine is – was-"

"On a boat in the middle of the East River," she said happily. "That's correct."

Jace finally spoke. "You've been spying on me. Is that what the Clave does, invade the privacy of its fellow Shadowhunters to-"

"Be careful what you say to me." Her grey gaze swept over every single teenager in the room. "You are not the only one who's broken the Law. In releasing Jaelyn from the Silent City, in freeing her from the warlock's control, you and your friends are all guilty."

"Jace isn't our friend, he's our brother!" Isabelle declared.

"I'd be careful what you say, Isabelle Lightwood. You could be considered complicit."

"Complicit?" Robert Lightwood spoke up again. "The girl was just trying to keep you from shattering our family. For God's sake, Imogen, these are all just children-"

"Children?" the Inquisitor echoed. "Just as you were children when the Circle plotted the destruction of the Clave? Just as my son was a child when he-" She cut off suddenly.

"So this is about Stephen after all," Luke said softly.

"This is not about Stephen!" she snapped. "This is about the _Law!_"

"And Jace," Maryse stepped forward, looking anxious, "what's going to happen to him?"

"He will return to Idris with me tomorrow. You've all forfeited your right to know any more than that."

Except for me, 'cause I had the sparknotes version of life in my bag. No biggie.

* * *

><p><strong>Know what time it is? Review response time! YAY!<strong>

**chibichibi98: Wait, why on earth would Jaci's rash decision come to be an unfortunate one? Also, I couldn't actually kill Jaci this early! Jace just encountered the fear demon on Valentine's ship.**

**Guest: I... I don't get it.**

**TooLazyToLogin: a;sdlkfa;dsfjk;adf You're making me blush!**

**Crystal-Wolf-Guardian-967: Well thank you!**

**Sheepinkgirl: Wanna know the worst part about that cliffhanger? This chapter didn't even pick up where that one left off. Author fail. But! In my defense, I'm building tension. And stuff. Anyway, what'd'ya think of this chapter?**

**deathscythe1113: Is that like being knighted? Am I a knight armed with a pen, er, laptop? I am beyond glad you like my stories, really very honestly! And no worries, I'll do my best to throw Jace and Jaci together!**

**Kimlae: Sorry about the cosmos thing! I hope the Doctor was able to pick you up and drop you back off on Earth! **

**Sco: -picks up jaw and reattaches it- There you go! Sorry the jaw-dropping qualities of that last chapter weren't real...**

**Kimlae: Are you the same Kimlae? I'm gonna guess that you are. I really appreciate your advice but I'm already at sophomore standing at my current university and I kinda really like it here.**


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